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My Mom is the queen of telling me her opinion. She freaked out when I told her we were having our 2nd and hasn't ever stopped. I had a perinatologist (not mine) tell me at 12 weeks that I should have an abortion, way before I started having any problems. I had a pediatrician tell me I was selfish for having anymore when I was pregnant with my 3rd. My brother (a doctor) offered to give my dh a vasectomy for free.
I get other people's opinions all the time. My OB and my endocrinologist believe I'm in great shape and could have another one with few complications so why should it be anyone else's business? Have you ever been told not to get pg? By whom and why?
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I have never been told by anyone not to get pregnant, my pulmonologist kept telling me that my condition did not mean having children was out of the question, just that I would need to be closely monitored.
When I told my mom that I was pregnant her first reaction was not a good one. She kept asking if I really thought it was a good idea and if I was sure it was safe. She was just worried about me and even apoligized a week later for her reaction.
I would be so angry with people saying stuff to my like they have to you.
My mom has told me repeatedly since the day DD was born that I need to stop having children. Her reasoning varies- DD is a handful and should never be made a middle child, DD's personality isn't conducive to having a younger sibling, I've been giving birth earlier and earlier with more and more severe pre-e can't I take a hint, they only come in 2 kinds and I have one of each, I'm up to 3 losses maybe God is trying to tell me something, and on and on and on.
ive not been told by my doctors not to have more. MY doc said now is the time to do it so get cracking . .. but ive had other women tell me im selfish for wanting more kids and that dont i think the 3 i have is enough. I love my children and I have loads and loads of love to give and if I can do it without living on welfare then i think i have every right to have as many children as dh and i want to. my family isnt supportive of more children because im 22 with 3 and they think more than 1 child is too many.. dhs mom says its okay as long as we are okay while doing it. she worries about my health issues but is happy for more grndbabies.
******Thank you Julka for my beautiful siggy******
Yes, in my thirties, after I married, and was dealing with a lot of health problems (pcos, obesity, pre-diabetes and fibromyalgia) through my thirties, and also having miscarriages and the ensuing depression, my sister (11 year older) was quite fierce about my not even trying to have children. Her vehement lack of support hurt me very much, even though by 39 I was ready to quit trying, too.
After losing over a hundred pounds in the past three years, walking 5-10 miles per day, healthy diet, type II diabetes under good control, fibromyalgia managed naturally, the PCOS symptoms diminished, and I had a normal 28 day cycle for the first time in my life for the past couple years. My body has been feeling better than it ever has, very definitely tapping into some latent woman power at 45! *lol*
Then I had some emotional setbacks in the last year - my dear old daddy died at 85 yo from a sudden stroke; and my nephew, within the same year, died at 34, as a victim of hit and run near his home when he was out jogging. And so I have been struggling with a severe fibro flare up, and depression, and some weight gain ... but I still feel better physically than I did in my thirties.
And a couple of weeks ago I discovered I was pregnant. I would be around 11 weeks now, but I have a blood mass (hematoma) sharing space in my uterus and a lot of bleeding, and even though the heartbeat is still strong, they have told me to prepare for miscarriage. This is the first time I have carried long enough to become aware of the heartbeat and life inside. Even though this was unplanned, we want her.
And, guess what? I have not shared with my sister or my mother because I just do not want to hear the lectures. It is difficult because I would like their emotional support. Since I live 1500 miles away, I can pretty much keep it all a secret until I have a good report. If it ends badly, I will probably never tell them, because we will probably want to try again.
No, I've had the opposite experience: when Jim was still in the NICU and I felt like I really didn't want to have more kids, people were pressuring me to have another. They were doing it "out of love" just like people who pressure you guys NOT to have more kids, because they wanted me to be happy. But seriously, hearing that stuff doesn't make me happy, it makes me ANGRY.
I just feel like, people should keep their opinions to themselves. It is none of my business how many kids someone else has. I may think someone's choices are bad, but I would NEVER try to tell them what to do with their life. Because, who the heck am I to judge?
I recently had a genetic specialist lecture me about not getting PG again. She went on and on about my helth and my duty to my DD and it would be selfish to go and get pregnant again. She even said, "I get it you are young, in a new relationship and all of your friends are doing it, so why wouldn't you want to do it? Well they dont face the problems you might face!
She thinks there is a slight possiblity I could have Ehlers danlos syndrome, which the one type could be dangerous. But, I talked to my OB yesterday and he said, IF I got pg and we find out I do in fact have it, there are things to do do keep me safe, he is not too concerned. In fact on my way out the door he said, "keep having intercourse, the wise thing might be to wait and see for sure, but, I am not too concerned"
But my parents think it would be stupid to get pg, I have researched and researched and talked to my OB. I am going to go ahead with the testing but, if it happens in ther meantime....we go from there! I know there is a possiblity I may not be able to carry another pregnancy to term, and my OB is ready to try his best, while working with a high risk dr to keep me pregnant and healthy both, in the event of another pregnancy!
Thanks JMC1988 for the great siggy!
My family generally believe and say that they think I should just be happy with the kids I've got and not put myself or a future child at risk. At the same time however when I told them that we were thinking about ttc again they were pretty happy about it. My in-laws think I should definetely have more.
Generally other people think I should stop at 3, not becasue of the high risk though but just because more than 3 doesn't make sence to them.
When the words are spoken it hurts so much - I have been told that I shouldn't try to have more children because I have had so many losses. My OB isn't concerned about me being able to try again & I feel like we finally have all the problems ironed out & the next time will bring me a rainbow baby
Thank you Katie (.:Shortcake:.) for my beautiful siggy!!
I've had OB's tell me not to have anymore due to the fact I had DVT and PE 3 weeks after I had my son 3 yrs ago. I've done a lot of research on that and how it can be prevented in future pregnancies and my internest dr said I can have more children that I would have to go on a blood thinner for my pregnancy and 6 weeks after. Not for the idea of shots but I've done it before. I'll do it again. My Grandmother is not for more children. She even told DH and I to be sure to abstain from any BD. My mom would be scared just because passed health problems after my son was born. My MIL told me the other day that it's time DH and I started thinking about him getting a vasectomy. I told her no because we really want more children then she said well no other child will ever compare to Jacob (our son). I understand Jacob is special and means a lot to all of us but if we do have more children that child will be just as special as Jacob is. When she told me that it really hurt, especially the vasectomy part.