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Seattlite's TTC journal


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  #1  
November 3rd, 2010, 09:37 AM
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I thought I'd start a TTC journal, perhaps it will help me pass the time! Background on me: I have a 3-year-old son who was born at 27 weeks because of premature rupture of membranes. He's fine now, but I'm still carrying the scars of that experience. A year of therapy has helped me feel OK with TTC again, although I'm still very nervous and feeling a lot of "you're not supposed to be a mom" stuff that I know is just the trauma talking. I'm currently on cycle #2.

OK, here goes...

November 3: CD 7

AF is finally gone. How I hate her.

This cycle, I've started charting my temp for the first time. Thank goodness I always hit the snooze button, because between the snooze time and the time I actually get out of bed, I usually get conscious enough to actually remember to take my temp. Downside of the thermometer I bought: it has no backlight, and I'm up at 4:45 AM, so, it's always dark when I get up and I have to use the light from our baby monitor to read the thing. The good news is, it's fast, and it has a memory feature.

I also bought an OPK so I'm going to use that too. Whatever it takes.

I got a journal to write in through the TTC and pregnancy experience, so I can write things down about how I'm feeling (both physically and emotionally) and what I'm eating, how my CM is, etc. Last pregnancy, I don't think I was very in touch with my body...or that could just be the trauma guilt talking, but regardless, it can't hurt to write everything down.

I should be O'ing this Sunday or Monday, so DH and I have planned a night at a hotel downtown. Our room has a fireplace.
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  #2  
November 4th, 2010, 06:35 AM
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CD 8

Took an OPK yesterday, negative of course. I wanted to get the feel for how they work before I actually get close to O'ing. Fertility Friend shows me being fertile starting today and running through Sunday, but I think it might be off by a day or two. It's showing a 25-day cycle and I'm usually a 26-day cycle (although the last two have been off a bit--the cycle before last was due to major work stress, and then this past cycle I think my body was readjusting because of the previous cycle). Still thinking this weekend is a good time to be trying, and keeping my fingers crossed.

Getting a little tired of all my coworkers wondering about whether or not I'm pregnant yet. When I say "Getting a little tired" what I mean is, I'm freaking sick of it. Seriously, like I need the added pressure of worrying that every time I say "I'm tired" or "I'm hungry" or "I need to use the restroom" someone is going to say, "Oooh, is that a sign you're pregnant?" I get that they're all excited about the idea of me having another baby, but really, they're not helping.
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  #3  
November 4th, 2010, 06:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seattlite View Post

Getting a little tired of all my coworkers wondering about whether or not I'm pregnant yet. When I say "Getting a little tired" what I mean is, I'm freaking sick of it. Seriously, like I need the added pressure of worrying that every time I say "I'm tired" or "I'm hungry" or "I need to use the restroom" someone is going to say, "Oooh, is that a sign you're pregnant?" I get that they're all excited about the idea of me having another baby, but really, they're not helping.
I don't know how these journals work, or if I am allowed to post in here, or if it is just for you.
I just wanted to say that this is the exact reason that we are not telling people that we are going to be TTC. Not even our family will know. They are too nosy. That would drive me nuts!
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  #4  
November 4th, 2010, 08:45 AM
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I know, totally drives me nuts. But then, it started before we started TTC--I switched to decaf last January and everyone immediately started asking if I was pregnant. Now, how is that any of their business? And honestly, after what I went through with Jim in the NICU, you'd think they'd be a little bit understanding that TTC the next one would be a sensitive subject. But I have learned that people just don't get it.

(Oh, and totally OK to comment or ask questions--I don't know if other people's journals are that way, but mine is!)
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  #5  
November 6th, 2010, 08:18 AM
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CD 10

So, yesterday afternoon, Jim threw up at daycare, and last night, he coughed the whole night. He's got a runny nose, but still plenty of energy--how can kids be sick and still have all that energy? I think the coughing means no night out for us tonight--I can't imagine making my SIL listen to him coughing all night, that just seems cruel. I'll be calling the hotel to beg them to let us reschedule (we're inside the cancellation penalty period now so we could be out the cost of the hotel if they won't let us change it, ugh). BD'd last night, but OPK still negative yesterday.
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  #6  
November 8th, 2010, 07:54 AM
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CD 12

OPK still negative yesterday. Coming down with a cold, had to go to bed early last night. I'm feeling a lot of post-nasal drip and feeling tired and a bit achy with a headache, but no fever. I was expecting to O today, but it's looking like it'll be tomorrow instead. BD'd on Friday and Saturday but felt awful yesterday so we didn't. Probably will BD tonight if I'm feeling up to it, otherwise I think we may miss this month and have to wait until late December.

Good news: the hotel let us reschedule for the 20th, which is obviously outside the timeframe for BDing but that's OK, we just need a night off from parenting. I think we're going to see the new Harry Potter movie that weekend.
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  #7  
November 9th, 2010, 06:58 AM
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CD 13

OPK positive yesterday evening! We BD'd last night, and this morning I had a higher temp (about half a degree) so hopefully this is the month. Today I've definitely got that cold I was coming down with yesterday. Had a big thing of orange juice this morning and some last night, might do zinc--anyone know if this is safe when TTC? I know some zinc is great, but I don't want to take too much.

I'm thinking this may be the month...now the long painful 2WW begins to see if I'm right!
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  #8  
November 11th, 2010, 06:51 PM
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CD 15

Fertility Friend says I O'd on Monday, so I'm planning to test for the first time on Sunday the 21st. DH and I will be at that hotel (the one we had to change our reservation for because Jim was sick last weekend) and I figure I can bring a test along with me to pee on. If it's positive, we won't be telling anyone but my best friends (my miscarriage support team) for a while. I'm thinking we'll tell our parents and sisters around Christmas, and the rest of the world at 12 weeks. I don't want to think about if I'm not pregnant.

This stupid cold is still hanging on. I feel a little better than before but not much. DH has it now too, and the poor guy has a big project at work this weekend, not a fun time to be sick. But the selfish part of me is thinking "At least he won't be sick when we go away for the night on the 20th!" Good news is Jim is mostly better.
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  #9  
November 12th, 2010, 01:50 PM
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CD 16

My temp dropped this morning and now Fertility Friend can't pinpoint my O date anymore. Not sure what that's about, but I'm hoping that positive OPK was accurate. This cold is still hanging on. I used some saline nasal spray, but it's not helping much. I did make some pretty spicy jambalaya for lunch/dinner today, hoping the spices will help clear out my sinuses some too but as yet I'm still stuffy.
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  #10  
November 13th, 2010, 08:42 PM
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CD 17, 5 DPO

So my temp went back up again today, so I had Fertility Friend ignore yesterday's temp, and it set my O day back to Monday again. This whole waiting thing is making me crazy! I'm plotting in my head when I can test, I think next Sunday will be the day. I'd normally have some spotting that day if AF was going to arrive, so I think that makes sense as a good day to test.

Spent today hanging out with Jim because DH was working from home. My cold is turning into a cough, ugh, but at least my nose isn't running like a faucet anymore. Tomorrow I think we'll go for a drive into the mountains if DH's big project is done. He's going to make a ton of overtime for all the extra hours he's putting in this weekend.
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  #11  
November 15th, 2010, 12:41 PM
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CD 19, 7 DPO

Seriously, this waiting thing stinks. I am now checking my chart every five minutes to pass the time. One thing TTC and pregnancy have made me more aware of is how incredibly impatient a person I am!

My cold is slowly getting better. I woke up with my sinuses still hurting this morning but I'm definitely better than I was last week.
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  #12  
November 16th, 2010, 04:31 PM
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CD 20, 8 DPO

Cold is pretty much gone now, thank goodness. Temp has been consistently up since I stopped having to breathe through my mouth because my head was so stuffy. Really want this week at work to be over with, not really enjoying my job these days and wishing I could be someplace else, and the 2WW is not helping with that feeling. At least I'm halfway through the 2WW now, though!
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  #13  
November 18th, 2010, 08:02 AM
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CD 22, 10 DPO

Have definitely reached a new level of obsessively staring at my chart. Here is what I'm thinking about how it looks since ovulation: so, right after I ovulated, I came down with that nasty cold. My temp was up the first couple of days after ovulation, then I was really stuffy for a few days and my temp dipped--I am thinking this is from sleeping with my mouth open. Then it went back up again on Saturday. Then on Sunday, which would have been 6 DPO, it dipped for one day, then on Monday it was back where it was on Saturday. Then Tuesday, yesterday, and today, it's been higher, and very consistent. So, I'm hoping that the dip on Sunday was an implantation dip, and the higher temp now shows a triphasic pattern? Fertility Friend identified a possible triphasic pattern yesterday and today the temp is still up at the higher level.

Then again, I'm craving sweet and salty, which usually means AF will be here in a few days. So, who the heck knows...seriously, this wait is making me insane! LOL!

Thank goodness this is my last day at work this week (I never work on Fridays, I'm a 4 10's person--might change that when I'm pregnant if a 10-hour day becomes to exhausting, but it's convenient having days off for doctor appointments too). Tomorrow we're getting the chimney for our furnace re-flashed, and DH is taking Jim to get a shot. He gets some shots sooner than other kids because he doesn't have a spleen, and they didn't have the shot ready at the last visit. So then on Saturday we'll be cleaning the house to get ready for my sister coming to visit for Thanksgiving, then going for our romantic night out. We're seeing the new Harry Potter movie at the Cinerama and then having a nice dinner, then staying at a hotel downtown. Then Sunday morning, I'll POAS and then we'll have a nice breakfast, go see the Picasso exhibit at the art museum, do some shopping, and then head home.
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  #14  
November 19th, 2010, 07:47 PM
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CD 23, 11 DPO

Woke up at 4:30 this morning for no apparent reason, feeling a little queasy. Took my temp, peed, laid back down, couldn't get back to sleep, and then the sinus headache began. So at 5:30 I gave up on sleep and got up to record my temp on Fertility Friend. It's no longer seeing a triphasic pattern, since my temp dropped a wee bit today. DH and I talked, and I'm going to POAS tomorrow. I'm expecting a negative, but I'm going nuts with the waiting and at least that'll be something to pass the time.

Meanwhile, Jim has diarrhea, a lot of it, all day today. It gave him a wicked diaper rash, poor thing. We're giving him lots of yogurt (that usually helps him get over it faster) and tomorrow we'll be digging into the Pedialyte and the BRAT diet tomorrow.
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  #15  
November 20th, 2010, 05:39 AM
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CD 24, 12 DPO.

BFN, big dip in temperature today, and as if that wan't enough, I'm crampy this morning. $#*#(%)! Honestly, I am not holding out much more hope for this cycle, and we wouldn't be trying again until late December so I won't end up due right when Jim was due. I am trying to look on the bright side:
1. All my teacher friends say not to have a summer baby, especially if it's a boy, because they often struggle to keep up with their peers.
2. Now I won't even be due in the month that Jim would have been due, that's probably also good for my mental health.
3. We could have another fall baby in the family--right now I'm the only person in either my family or DH's that has a fall birthday.
4. I can take some Afrin to help clear out my sinuses once my period starts in a few days, AND I can have a glass of wine with dinner at Thanksgiving.

Yeah, none of that is really helping. When AF arrives, I'm going to have another good cry.

UPDATE: And there's AF, 3 days early. So much for our nice romantic night at a hotel. I called to reschedule the hotel again. We're still going to go see Harry Potter tonight, because I could use some escapism. The cry has not cleaned me out yet, but I should be OK in a day or two.
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Last edited by Seattlite; November 20th, 2010 at 12:56 PM.
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  #16  
November 23rd, 2010, 06:50 AM
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Cycle 3, CD 3

AF is still just a trickle (more than spotting, less than my normal flow), but I'm expecting things to pick up today, which is when I SHOULD have had AF show up. Still temping this cycle even though we're not TTC this month.

I started working out again yesterday. I'd stopped back in August out of laziness and had gained about 5 lbs. since then, and none of my pants fit anymore. So, since I don't need to worry about being pregnant, I might as well try to get some muscle tone and maybe lose a bit around my middle.

Meanwhile, we're having Snowpocalypse 2010 going on around here right now. We don't handle snow/ice very well around here--it's pretty rare, usually no more than once or twice a year. The city is struggling to keep the main roads clear and there is a semi blocking all of the freeway southbound into the city. My work says we can either take 3 extra hours to get into work, or we can take unscheduled leave--I'm going with unscheduled leave because I don't want to get stuck at work. I'll spend the day getting the house cleaned up in case my sister and her family are actually able to make it here tomorrow night.
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  #17  
November 29th, 2010, 01:37 PM
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CD 10

I am now very glad I'm not pregnant, because DH and I both have a NASTY stomach flu, including a fever and everything that goes along with a stomach bug. Yuck. Maybe things happen for a reason...AF is now gone and I'm expecting to ovulate in the next couple of days.
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  #18  
December 2nd, 2010, 10:58 AM
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CD 13

Am now recovered from the flu and back to my workout routine. OPK said negative last night but had EWCM yesterday. Temp didn't go up today either. Haven't noticed any EWCM today but it's still fairly early.

Bought a new dress that makes me look like Betty Draper and got a ton of compliments at work! Another plus to not being pregnant yet.

Did the math and if I got pregnant this cycle, I would be due exactly the same date that I was due with Jim. Too weird! Very glad we're not trying this month.
Our next window to TTC is over Christmas weekend.

Our weekend at a hotel is now off--the weekend we picked, my SIL is busy and can't watch Jim. So I gave up and just canceled the reservation. Depressing.
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  #19  
December 6th, 2010, 08:57 AM
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CD 17

I haven't been as vigilant this month with OPKs, and forgot to do one on Saturday, and I have a feeling that's the day it would have been positive, because it hasn't been positive any other day, despite plenty of EW-seeming CM (I'm still not positive I'm properly analyzing my CM, but whatever). My temp went up a teeny bit the last couple of days so I'm hoping the rise continues, otherwise I'm wondering if this is a No-O cycle?

Managed to work out two days last week after getting over that stomach bug and worked out again this morning, which almost makes up for the mountains of unhealthy food I ate this weekend.
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  #20  
December 8th, 2010, 08:55 AM
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CD 20, maybe 4 DPO?

Fertility Friend hasn't pinpointed my O date, but my temps have been a bit higher for the last 4 days, so I'm thinking I O'd on Saturday. It's not a dramatic rise but it is consistently higher than it was before Saturday (other than when I was still menstruating). I guess we'll see what happens, if they continue to rise or not. This cycle just seems a bit weird compared to last cycle, I'm glad we're waiting until next month to TTC or I'd be pulling my hair out!

I have worked out the last 3 days, despite feeling exhausted. It is a struggle to drag myself out of bed in the mornings because I already come to work so freakin' early, so I'm up working out at 4:30 AM. Ugh. But I know in the end I'll be glad to be more fit when I get pregnant.
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