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When they put her in my arms. I know that might sound horrible, but I was not ever going to have children. I was not a big fan of kids in general. When I found out I was pregnant I spent the first couple months mourning the loss of my life as I knew it. I enjoyed beging pregnant, and I knew that I was going to be a mommy, but I was still not sure that it was something that I wanted. When Stella was born and I saw her for the first time, I knew that I wanted to be a mommy.
I can't remember ever not wanting to be one. When I was growing up and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always answered a Mom. Of course, now that I have kids, I wonder about my sanity
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When I was very little, pre-puberty, I was always mothering everything and everyone, and I always imagined I would be a mommy. But there were things that happened that stole that joy, and I think I only just got it back at 45.