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A.)What is your interpretation of the Higher Self?
In short, I believe it is the part of my consciousness that involves intuition, precognition, dreams, the influences and spiritual guidance of past lives, and the part of my spirit that is the most strongly connected to the Goddess. I also believe that this is the part of my mind that my totem animal works with and gives guidance through, and because I have drifted away from seeking my Higher Self in recent years, my totem animal has felt muffled, or like I have a bad connection, if that makes sense.
B.) Write down what you hope to accomplish by the end of this course. This can be anything, not necessarily religious related. It can be to keep up on your house more, be more creative, learn to meditate, cook, garden, write, etc etc… anything you want to change about yourself for the better!
I hope to better understand my Higher Self, as well as learn how to be a more involved and knowledgeable Pagan. I want to learn more about the history of Paganism and the Wheel of the Year, as well as Pagan rites and rituals, and how to use herbs, stones, runes, etc. I also hope to be more comfortable with my path so that I can open up to my family and friends with the confidence to answer all their questions and ignore their condemnations.
1.) Have you tried meditation in the past or are you currently meditating? I have tried it in the past, but not within the past year, what with being too distracted by pregnancy and my son.
2.) What do you like/dislike about meditating? I don't like that my imagination tends to go into overdrive, and I become frightened of where it goes. I have a lot of fear complexes, and when I try to meditate, that's where my mind tends to wander. I haven't figured out how to avoid that, which is another reason I don't try to meditate anymore. What I did like about it was the quiet. I don't live a particularly quiet lifestyle---type A personality, loud argumentative family, always on the go---so allowing myself a short while to just sit and think can be nice, if I manage to not think about the bad things.
3.) What are your strengths and weaknesses in being able to accomplish finding time to meditate? My strengths with meditating...I can't say that I have any. I've always been bad at it. LOL. Therefore, I don't go out of my way to make time for it. I'm thinking that I should change that now.
4.) What kind of meditating are you wanting to try, like guided meditations you find online or the meditation spot in your mind or the candle or anything else..? The meditation spot in my mind sounds like a good idea, but at the same time I'm afraid that I won't be able to keep my fears from polluting that space. I've tried the candle flame, but that caused too many shadows to dance about in my peripheral vision...and yeah. I have issues that I'm currently working out, trying to get over my fears that developed during my Christian upbringing.
What I'm thinking I need to do is meditate with my eyes open, in a well-lit room, and not take it so seriously. At least not at first. I just want to have a "casual" conversation with the Goddess, just to talk about my daily routines and struggles, etc. That way I am at least opening the road to connecting more strongly and personally with Mother Earth.