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Could use prayers (miscarriage)


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  • 2 Post By JoyfulChaosMama

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  #1  
July 2nd, 2012, 01:43 PM
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A little about me, born and raised Catholic, started dating my husband at 17 (he was baptist but converted by his own choice & suggestion before marriage). We began a committed relationship shortly after turning 18, suffered a miscarriage at 19, married at 23, had our son at 24, daughter at 26, and are now both 28.
We found out we were unexpectedly expecting on 5/13 (Mother's Day) on June 22nd at what should have been my 9 week dr. visit, they couldn't find a heartbeat and told me the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks 1 day, and the gestational sac was measuring 8 weeks and would continue to grow until I lose the pregnancy.
My Dr. strongly recommended a D&C... but I asked to be allowed to miscarry naturally if possible first, so now have 4 weeks to do so. It has been 11 days today and there is still no sign of it starting.
I am so depressed right now. I wasn't able to go to church the past 2 Sundays because while I do not 'blame' God, I feel very let down and hurt and angry and a whole range of other emotions, and would feel like a hypocrite sitting there in that pew seething.
I really would like to avoid surgery, and absolutely cannot stand the thought of them disposing of my baby, no matter how tiny it was, it was a life inside of me, and it is not trash!! I have been told if I have the procedure that they will dispose of it because it's considered biohazard. Also, it feels too much like an abortion to me, like I am evicting my baby from my body, even though I know that is not rational.
I could just really use some prayers to keep my faith up and get thru this right now.
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  #2  
July 2nd, 2012, 03:13 PM
LiamsMother's Avatar Amanda (Amahnda)
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I am so sorry. I also suffered a miscarriage 7 months ago. I had a D&C at a Catholic hospital, and afterwards, her remains were taken to a pathologist to test for chromosomal abnormalities. She was respectfully buried in a grave site made for miscarried babies, after the testing. We have visited that grave site a couple of times. I guess I just assumed that every hospital did this or at least every Catholic hospital. I don't like the idea of a human being being disposed of irreverently like they're biohazards. Again, I am sorry for your loss. I do know what you are going through and it is one of the hardest things that one can go through. ((Hugs))
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  #3  
July 2nd, 2012, 05:29 PM
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Thank you! I am hoping and praying it doesn't come to surgery, but I guess I will cross that bridge when I do. But I am going to contact a lawyer if I have to have it so that I am able to take my baby with me and bury him/her properly. I wish there was a Catholic hospital where I live.
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  #4  
July 2nd, 2012, 06:49 PM
bellasky's Avatar Blessed
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I am so sorry you are going through this. I pray that God gives you strength and lets you heal.
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  #5  
July 3rd, 2012, 12:18 AM
LJD3Tdance's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have been fortunate enough not to be in your position, so I don't know if I know what I'm talking about here...but aren't there medicines they can give you that can help you along in the miscarriage? Or does that also feel too much like an abortion to you? I don't know how I'd feel with all of it, but I totally do understand that thought that you don't like how they handle it...they handle it wrong at all stages of pregnancy if their is a loss. They talk like they aren't people, so it would be a hard decision to make.

I'll put you in my prayers. BTW, I'm Christen, nice to have you here, sorry for such a tragic post
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  #6  
July 3rd, 2012, 06:17 AM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and praying that you are able to avoid a d&c.
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  #7  
July 3rd, 2012, 06:58 AM
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Thank you ladies for the support and prayers, I appreciate it. There is a pill you can take that makes you start having uterine contractions, but it can rupture your uterous and has other side effects. I would raather go natural if possible, but the waiting is such torment. My Dr. is very conservative, and was willingto give me some extended time for it to start naturally, but even with her calling it "tissue" (as clinical as that may be) seemed harsh, and I know that is not how she intended it. I am amazed at how some people act, just because this child wasn't living outside of my body yet, they seem to think you can't possibly have an attachment to it, or that it is not that much of a loss!
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  #8  
July 3rd, 2012, 10:57 AM
LiamsMother's Avatar Amanda (Amahnda)
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I totally hear ya on how some people can't understand the deep loss that a miscarriage is. For me, it was one of the hardest things that I've ever gone through, and I've gone through a lot of things in my life. We only knew of our daughter for 7 weeks but I still love her and cry about her now, 7 months later. I wish no one ever had to go through the tragedy of losing a child. It's a pain that never goes away.
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  #9  
July 3rd, 2012, 02:46 PM
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I am so sorry mama. I've been where you are - 3 years ago our baby died at 12 weeks - I too opted to miscarry in my own time. It took over 3 weeks. It was hard. Very hard. I felt hurt and upset with Our Lord also. (there were some other circumstances around me that intensified those feelings.)

You are not a hypocrite if you go to mass. I urge you to go - and give all of your feelings and emotions to God.

Give yourself time to heal, move forward slowely. I am so sorry for your loss.
LJD3Tdance and AmyLM like this.
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  #10  
July 4th, 2012, 02:49 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss, we were in the same DDC and now I am going through something quite similar. I should have been 12 weeks yesterday but we found out the baby had stopped growing at 7. After discussing it we decided I would not risk a D&C but also could not just wait around forever for my body to get the message, so the doc wrote a script for a med used vaginally. I starting cramping and bleeding overnight last night. This is just day 1 but so far it has not been as bad as I feared.

I am not hijacking this thread, just thought maybe this would be an option you might consider and discuss with your doctor.
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  #11  
July 5th, 2012, 01:31 PM
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I'm so sorry, ladies. I had a m/c right before getting pg with my Claire. Fortunately, it happened quickly. Unfortunately, it happened. It was a baby I carried and loved and miss. I worked in the medical field for many, many years and I know how clinical and cold everything is. I really think that it's to keep the professional from having to feel too much. It's a way of distancing ourselves but, it seems cold to the patient. You are in my prayers and I'm so sorry for your loss. I pray that you can find peace and that this process happens quickly for you. I also urge you to go to mass and give it all to God. You're not a hypocrite for it. Not at all. Peace be with you.
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