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  • 2 Post By ShawnaCAN
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  #1  
December 6th, 2012, 01:37 PM
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I was raised in the Methodist and Presbyterian churches and then became a Baptist a few years ago. Both my girls were "presented" but have not been baptized since baptist believe in a believer's baptism. The thing is, it's bothered me since they've been born that they aren't baptized. I don't really know why but probably because I was baptized as a baby. So anyways, I've been trying to decide what faith is right for us. I don't really want to go back to the Methodist church because it just was too liberal for me. So I guess my question is if we went to a Catholic church to visit what would it be like?

I also had a question about birth control. I had my girls at a Catholic hospital and they wouldn't tie your tubes. My doctors have said that 3 pregnancies is my limit due to them each being c-section. Why would a tubal be wrong then? I've gotten pg with NFP (DTD on CD 10 dry day and ovulated on CD15) and can't use other BC. It would obviously be detrimental to my marriage to just not have sex. How can the church make a blanket rule like that. Isn't a couple purposely not having sex to not get pregnant the same as a person purposely using BC? Either way it's a person taking fertility into their own hands.

So I guess I'm just wondering if there are lots of specific rules like the birth control rule?
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  #2  
December 6th, 2012, 02:26 PM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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If you were to visit a Catholic church for Mass, there might be a lot of things that you've never seen before or know what it means. If you like to read, "The Lamb's Supper" by Scott Hahn is a good explanation of the Mass from a Biblical perspective.

As for birth control, at face value the "rule" might seem backwards or unreasonable. But it's necessary to go back and learn about what God intended the act of marriage to be - the dignity and purpose of it; and how contraception/sterilization undermines the dignity, purpose, and holiness of sexual love. An act of sacrifice; postponing intercourse to avoid the fertile time is a very different act (on a moral level) than altering the act to make it fruitless.
Very simply, we believe that the gift of sexual love reaches it's fullness and fulfillment when it imitates Christ's gift of His life to us: a free, total, faithful, fruitful gift.

Managing fertility is not considered sinful - the goal is not the problem. The means is the problem. The article on NFP and Birth Control explains more about that.

It's a difficult thing to explain in a forum like this; but some resources that explain it much better than I can include:
A video by Christopher West, quick introduction to what we believe about the sacredness of sexual love.
An Introduction to the Theology of the Body: "The Language of the Body" - YouTube

Why is the Catholic Church against Contraception?

Birth Control and NFP; What's the Difference?

It's also important to mention that there are a variety of NFP methods available; not all with the same effectiveness rate. Some couples find that one method doesn't work as well for them as another one does.
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  #3  
December 6th, 2012, 05:48 PM
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Thank you for all the info Shawna!!
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  #4  
December 6th, 2012, 11:03 PM
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Good for you for getting out there and trying to learn about all your options and what faith really fits you. If you have any other questions let us know. We'll try to do our best .
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  #5  
December 7th, 2012, 10:43 AM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You're welcome, I just wish I was better at explaining it. It's really a very beautiful teaching and being faithful to it has blessed our marriage in so many ways.
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  #6  
December 7th, 2012, 02:03 PM
Julka
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Something I once read (cannot remember which book, though), is that the difference is your intention. If you're using BC, you're going out of you way to tell God, "I don't want kids." With NFP (Natural Family Planning), you're working with the fertility that God Himself gave you and saying, "God, I would rather not have kids right now, but if You want to give me a child at this time, I will be okay with that." Do you see the difference?

Also, why would 3 c-sections be a reason to not have more children? I personally know two women, both with 4 children who have had 4 c-sections. They're just fine.
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  #7  
December 8th, 2012, 10:34 AM
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That is the view we've had since after we had our first daughter (we don't use BC, just NFP). I have health problems and we are struggling financially. If I could, I would have lots of babies. Each subsequent surgery has higher risks. Because of my health problems, the recovery from c-sections is really difficult. That's why we thought after one more we would close that door and enjoy raising the kids we are blessed with, being open to adoption in the future. I'm only 26 and I can't imagine dealing with NFP and the worry that goes with it for another 30 years. Maybe I should talk to a pastor about it?
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  #8  
December 9th, 2012, 12:55 AM
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I think that would certainly be a great source of information about it all. I'm 28, and pretty done...I won't say the future couldn't change my mind because I don't know what the future holds in store. I think there is a sacrifice that will come from doing NFP, but there are some benefits to it too. Maybe you might find out it wasn't so bad if you got in the habit of doing it to TTA long term.
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  #9  
December 9th, 2012, 08:23 AM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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All moral issues aside, permanent options also come with long term risks. So while it may be tempting to think it will bring a free pass on worry, it doesn't always work out that way. I would consider that secondary to the spiritual damage it can do, but certainly worth our consideration as well!

Long term NFP really isn't so bad, once you find a type of NFP that suits you best and learn it really, really, really well! The worry and stress that might be present during the learning phase isn't there forever. After awhile it becomes as routine as brushing your teeth in the morning; just another part of your normal day.
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  #10  
December 9th, 2012, 01:30 PM
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I've been temping for over 3 years. I have 24-25 day cycles with 8 days of bleeding. So if we abstain during those 8 days, plus 6 days before O (I've gotten pregnant 5 days before O) and the three after O, that's 17 days. So that gives us 7-8 days to DTD per cycle. See my problem?
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  #11  
December 9th, 2012, 02:28 PM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sounds like you would probably just benefit from a different type of NFP. We had to switch NFP methods 3 times before finding the one that suited us best. Of all 3, the Sympto Thermal Method we used required the most abstinence - much of it unnecessary.
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  #12  
December 10th, 2012, 09:11 PM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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I would really suggest you read what and why the Church teaches what She does - the links Shawna provided are good. I would also suggest Humanae Vitae. The Catholic Church's teachings on human sexuality are very beautiful and different from a lot of other denominations.
I just think, before worrying about what the future holds for you or how hard NFP would be, it is important to find out if you see the truth in what the Church teaches. Because really, if you embrace and agree with what the Church teaches it doesn't matter how hard it is to live by because the Truth is the Truth - it is also much easier to do something hard when you truly believe it is the Truth.
I also agree that there is likely another method that would be better suited to your situation and might give you more freedom each cycle.
Thanks for visiting here and asking your questions! I hope you will return with more!
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