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Past mistakes...Please give advice!


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  #1  
July 14th, 2011, 04:24 PM
meggie2685
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I was reading a message in AIP, and it almost exactly said how I feel lately so I decided I would come on here and ask for some LDS opinions.
When I was younger I made mistakes, morality mistakes and I've repented and dealt with the Bishop and its been years and years since anything happened and got a clean "You're forgiven from the Bishop, but sometimes I feel like that is why I haven't been able to get pregnant (been trying to get pregnant for a couple years). I feel God is punishing me for the choices I made. Then I get really down on myself, basically feeling like I hate who I used to be, so stupid and careless. Then things just go down from there. I believe in the Atonement and I know the Savior died for me and my sins along with everybody elses, but I just can't convince myself that this is not my consequence for sinning when I was younger......
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  #2  
July 14th, 2011, 04:46 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
While some trials are consequences of sin, I really don't see how this can be. After all, unless you got an std or something that would affect your fertility, how could it be? And what about those couples who never had sins of that nature that struggle with fertility?

My husband and I both sort of felt this way when Cora died. Both of us had taken care of it. Matt went worthily on his mission, and we were both worthily married in the temple. However, I felt such guilt and "not good enough" -ness.

I posted what I came up with through a lot of prayer and scripture study a while back, so here's a link:
http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1...or-trials.html (The reasons for trials.)
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  #3  
July 15th, 2011, 06:40 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
That's not how God works. Otherwise only "perfect" people would ever have children and we all know that's not true. I read something somewhere that said that the person who is hardest to forgive is ourselves. You have been officially forgiven. That means it's as if it didn't happen. You need to forgive yourself and move on. Infertility is heartbreaking, but it's not a punishment.
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Fritz - 7 (July 11, 2006), and Adrian - 5 (June 19, 2008)
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  #4  
July 15th, 2011, 07:26 AM
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 14
Forgiving yourself is the hardest step in the repentence process. You have been forgiven, you are as pure as those who never went down that path. Infertility is not a punishment, it is a trial and one that you will be able to pull through.

My husband's aunt struggled with infertility for many years, at the end of which she adopted. She now has 5 adopted children and when she talks of her infertility she talks about how grateful she is that she could not conceive. She couldn't see it when she was going through it, but now that she has the 5 children she does she can see that she would not have them without her infertility and she is so grateful that Heavenly Father knew her path and led her there.

Another friend of mine struggled for 5 years with infertility and now has 3 biological children, she is the best mom I know. She worked so hard to bring her babies here and that sacrifice for them brought her that much closer to her sweet little babies.

You can pull through this. Your Father in Heaven loves you enough to guide you through this trial. You can emerge from this with renewed strength and faith.
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  #5  
July 17th, 2011, 05:47 PM
meggie2685
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Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by sharpshooter View Post
Forgiving yourself is the hardest step in the repentence process. You have been forgiven, you are as pure as those who never went down that path. Infertility is not a punishment, it is a trial and one that you will be able to pull through.

My husband's aunt struggled with infertility for many years, at the end of which she adopted. She now has 5 adopted children and when she talks of her infertility she talks about how grateful she is that she could not conceive. She couldn't see it when she was going through it, but now that she has the 5 children she does she can see that she would not have them without her infertility and she is so grateful that Heavenly Father knew her path and led her there.

Another friend of mine struggled for 5 years with infertility and now has 3 biological children, she is the best mom I know. She worked so hard to bring her babies here and that sacrifice for them brought her that much closer to her sweet little babies.

You can pull through this. Your Father in Heaven loves you enough to guide you through this trial. You can emerge from this with renewed strength and faith.
Thank you so much! That was exactly what i needed to hear. Sometimes its hard cause logically I know I've been forgiven, but its so easy to feel remorse and ashamed of the past.....then its easier for the adversary to get in. My husband and I are working on getting sealed in the temple next month so the last couple months (actually the whole last year) has been really hard, but we are finally nearing our goal and I am so excited. Anyways, thanks again.
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  #6  
July 18th, 2011, 04:01 AM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11,023
God's timing is his own. I suffered 10 years of infertility before my first child was born and then seven more before I concieved again, then in two years I concieved three times only to have heart breaking losses. My husband and I thought with three losses in 6 month my body needed a break. We prayed about it, we asked for advice we talked to the bishop and even bought condoms but every time we even talked about it I would get hysterical, not wanting to prevent a baby even though that was exactly the "right" choice it wasn't Heavenly father's will. I immediately concieved again (Due date moved from July 29 to Sept 15) I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Then when he was four months old, even exclusively breastfeeding and my husband banned from the bedroom I got pregnant again.

If I could write a letter to myself and send it back in time i would tell myself that the perfect man was worth waiting for, that we would come together at teh right time, and that our babies would come on God's time.
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