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A little advice...


Forum: LDS Parenting

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  #1  
April 16th, 2012, 06:21 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
Okay...this transitional period between DH graduating and finding employment is hard on us. I am currently full time employed and he is a stay at home dad. This is super hard on him. I can understand because I saw him go through his graduate school. He had so many hopes to be able to provide for our family, and now for the past 2 years I have been the provider. The first year, he was fine with it. Now that he isn't going to school and taking care of Marsi he is finding it more and more difficult by the day. He loves her. I mean, he is a great dad!! He likes taking care of her and getting to know her. But, it isn't what he wanted to do. Where most of the conflicts come is in me being at work and coming home from work with DH expecting me to still do the laundry, all of Marsi's bottle dishes and everything. I can't even pump when I get home until I do dishes. I have told him this, but honestly, he plays games most of the time. How do I try to tell him that I really need his help. I am a full time teacher now. I have planning and grading. I still want to spend time with Marsi because I am only home for 4 hours before she goes to sleep. I miss my little girl so much and DH isn't making it any easier for me to be working.
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  #2  
April 17th, 2012, 05:59 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
I think you need to sit down and have a heart to heart about what it means for him to be staying home and you working and what you need him to do during the day. Do it completely non-emotionally and not when you are irritate.
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~Heather, wife to Jamie (15 years; June 5, 1998) and mom to
Ani - 14 (February 15, 2000), Cameron - 12 (October 3, 2001),
Fritz - 7 (July 11, 2006), and Adrian - 5 (June 19, 2008)
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  #3  
April 18th, 2012, 12:51 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
Thanks Heather. I have tried to give him information little bits at a time because it is so hard on him to be home. He is truly depressed because of it. But, I did sit him down and talked to him. Yesterday I came home and the laundry was done. 2 loads washed, dried and FOLDED! Dishes were done. Marsi was happy (like always) and since he had a tutoring job to go to he had set out and defrosted the things I needed to make dinner for us and the person in our ward who just had a baby. It was absolutely WONDERFUL!!! He is a fast learner! He has even gone with Marsi to the cardiologist 2 times by himself and everything. He is a sweetheart.
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  #4  
April 18th, 2012, 03:45 PM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
Wonderful! I would imagine he's quite down right now. This was definitely not the plan.
__________________


~Heather, wife to Jamie (15 years; June 5, 1998) and mom to
Ani - 14 (February 15, 2000), Cameron - 12 (October 3, 2001),
Fritz - 7 (July 11, 2006), and Adrian - 5 (June 19, 2008)
Smaller on the Outside

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