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I don't know if she'll see this, but I really hope so.
I would like to publicly apologize to Rachel for being so insensitive and uncaring during a crucial time, no matter how unintentional it was. I never once meant to hurt her, but that's what I did. I would give anything to go back in time and undo everything that happened; I miss my friend. It has taken a long time, but I have accepted that our friendship is damaged beyond repair. I can't make proper restitution because I can't take the words back & put the right ones in and I don't want to rehash old wounds; I just want her to know I am sorry, humbled and sad because I was such a lousy friend. I have been reflecting on this for months and praying for forgiveness even though I still feel like I don't deserve it.
I am grateful for the three years of friendship we did have and the extremely difficult lessons I have learned over the last few months. I don't know if she'll see this, or if it will make a difference. I just want her to know the whole truth.