Log In Sign Up

My young sisters and their choices


Forum: LDS Parenting

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To LDS Parenting LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 10th, 2007, 01:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,930
Well, my SIL, who is a year younger than me, is getting married. To an agnostic. She has been dating him for 3 years. Has tried to break up with him, but is too emotionally involved. He has taken the discussions twice and just doesn't believe. We have all talked to her before she got engaged about what she would be missing if she marries him, but she really thinks those problems won't be a big deal once she is married. I wish I could just make her see that they will be a BIGGER deal in the end. I love her just as my own sister and I am so sad for her. He doesn't smoke, drink and is chaste so he does have positive things about him. We are trying to be supportive now that she finally made the decision. We aren't speaking against it anymore. My Dh has had the hardest time with it because it is his little sister. He took the guy on a two hour walk when she announced and told him he was sorry for not opening up to him, but he admitted that the guy is the face to the reason she will not be getting married in the temple and that this is very important to us. It was a good talk and I pray that she is happy. I really am trying to be optimistic about it all, but I really don't know. I am blessing my baby on Sunday and all I can think is what will she do when someone else has to bless her children?? It seriously breaks my heart to think of the pain she is choosing! I know she has the potential to be happy, but she is choosing this difficult and painful road. What about going to church alone? Or no priesthood blessings? I just want to cry thinking about it. It is so hard because I know what I have and am so grateful every day for it and the thought of someone who knows the truth choosing otherwise is just hard to see.

And now my own sister. She is 17 and living in a house with 7 other people who are all potheads. She has been one too. She lies about it with everyone, but she is so transparent. We all know she is smoking, drinking, etc. She is no longer a virgin. She doesn't have any parents because my parents are not parents right now and have failed their family. My older sister just offered for her to come live with her and even told her she won't tell her what to do or how to live her life, but just wants to give her a family. She is trying to move in with my dad in a month and asked him "well, will you buy me alcohol?" He told her never and it was illegal! We found out that she and my younger brother, both of them honestly believe my parents divorce is their fault. They fight about who did it. I have felt the Lord tell me to pray for her NOW a couple time and I don't know why or what happened. I worry so much about her. She doesn't even know what she is doing to herself. She is very miserable, but lies to herself and tells herself she is happy. She admitted to telling my sister "Because my family is broken I can't be happy and until they are together again I am just not meant to be happy."

Anyway, just had to vent this out. My heart is broken because of my family situations. How can family bring so much happiness and yet so much sorrow? I just wish I could fast forward time so that I could see if my sister makes it, or my SIL is happy or after my parents divorce. But I guess if I could do that I wouldn't learn anything. I am so blessed in my own family though. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful kids and the gospel. My life is great, I just wish that others had what I have.
__________________
Married 7 years to my wonderful Dh

Mommy to 6 year old Emily and 3 year old Lindsey!

Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 10th, 2007, 02:48 PM
geo-geek
Guest
Posts: n/a
I am sorry about that. Family can break your heart sometimes. My sister got married to someone older than my father. It was the first time in my family that no one was happy that she was pregnant. It is really hard to know what to say to people like that. I hope that it gets better.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 10th, 2007, 04:53 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Quote:
I am blessing my baby on Sunday and all I can think is what will she do when someone else has to bless her children?? It seriously breaks my heart to think of the pain she is choosing! I know she has the potential to be happy, but she is choosing this difficult and painful road. What about going to church alone? Or no priesthood blessings? I just want to cry thinking about it. It is so hard because I know what I have and am so grateful every day for it and the thought of someone who knows the truth choosing otherwise is just hard to see.[/b]
I know how this feels. I hate to bring up my sister (since she's here on JM [Dreepy, I LOVE YOU!!!!], but she had been dealing with some of these same things). Fortunately, I guess, her DH has been baptised and is inactive, rather than agnostic. But she has posted some of her struggles here. Things seem to be more positive with the idea of a baby entering their lives, and Sabin is dealing with the idea that he can't bless his own baby.

I pray for them every day.

AND my siblings and siblings-in-law who are not doing nearly so well as her. My DH's younger sister has gone so far as to have her name officially removed from the roles of the church. And his youngest brother has just recently decided that God is a myth, and that we're all deluded. It causes my DH so much pain, and hurts me too, because I love them as well. Plus I have two brothers (one just older and one just younger) who have been inactive for years.


I guess that it's time like this, when it's our family and is so close to us, that we have to struggle to accept that each person has their own will. It's what we fought for before we came here to earth, knowing there would be casualties. I think it's this pain we feel in seeing our family struggle, that was the reason Lucifer had so many following him. I mean, he claimed he could bring everyone back, without exception. It seems like such a wonderful idea! Until you realize the truth, and that agency is the very thing which we needed most.

It's hard, when you wish you could just make your family realize what they are doing, and how much happier they would be if they would just stop doing the self-destructive things they do. If they would stop smoking, drinking, etc. (and I have to state here, I'm talking about my other sibs, NOT Adrienne. I don't worry as much about her lately.) If you could just make them know, like you do, how real God is, and how much He loves them individually, and how much He is just waiting for them to approach Him.



I too, am glad for my temple marriage. I never expected when I got married, that less than a year later I would lose a child. If I hadn't married in the temple...I wouldn't have the promise of having her for eternity. I can't wait to watch my husband bless his second daughter. I pray for the day that I'll be able to attend the sealing of my sister, her husband, and their baby. I can't wait to see him bless his own children.


Okay, I'm rambling and crying now. I need to stop.

__________________
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 10th, 2007, 09:22 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 11,750
i'm so sorry for your family. i know ours has been crazy and mad at times, but we always seem to come together in the end. all of us have gone astray at some point in our lives and then realized we were stupid. i'll pray for your family and i hope things work out.

my sister married a member, but neither are active. and when it came time to get their daughter blessed, he wouldn't let her get it done because he was not worthy to do it. he kept saying oh i'll go back to church so i can do it, but their daughter is almost a year old and he still hasn't gone back to church, not once. i feel sorry for her. my dh is not a member, but all my babies have been blessed and he lets us go to church. he believes, but he doesn't. he's just not ready yet.
__________________
Kelsie: Mom to Ryen (9) Emelia (8) Wyatt (7) Lucy (5) Oliver (4) Poppy (2) Briar Rose 10.5.13



Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 11th, 2007, 07:36 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 1,889
I'm so sorry for all you're going through. I hope they end up happy in the end and turn around.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:20 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0