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I have a lot of mixed emotion over my birth experience. Of course I am happy to have my healthy baby boy and that is the most important thing. However I was so set on my NCB and wanted it so badly I could almost taste it. Things didn't quite go as planned unfortunately...
It all started with my blood pressure. It was creeping higher and higher between a few appointments and we ended up deciding to induce before things got out of hand. I was to go in at midnight on 8/10 to be started on pitocin. It's funny, I remember the date 8/10 just not quite sitting with me as a birthday for Brian. My mind latched on to 8/11 or 8/13 since I missed my 8/9/10 baby. SO and I went in as scheduled and I was hooked up to everything. I remember on the way to the hospital I told SO that I knew I was about to have a baby, but that that fact hadn't quite sunk in yet. And that it would probably be like a 2x4 to the face when it did sink in. People were in and out and we went over forms and I got an IV and strapped to everything and after a couple hours I was allowed to settle and let things get going. They upped the pitocin every 30 minutes for me. It didn't take long for baby Brian to become the biggest pain in the butt. They could not keep him on the monitors. And unfortunately because I was also receiving IV fluids, I had to pee constantly. Which meant constantly unplugging, dragging cords and iv pole to the bathroom and then getting back into bed, picking a position, spending 15 minutes finding baby on the monitors only to have to pee half an hour later. This went on ALL DAY. I spent all day just stuck in bed, watching tv and basically hanging out while SO slept on the foldout bed. I got uncomfortable a few times and was contracting regularly between 1 and 3 minutes apart, but I was stuck at 3cm dilated and baby was around -1 station. By 4pm I still didn't feel much different than wen I came in except more exhausted. They ended up taking me off the pitocin and fluids and monitors, letting me eat dinner and gave me ambien to sleep for a while til we restarted things.
Come midnight, the nurses returned and I was hooked back up to the monitors and iv to get things going. Same thing, the pit was upped every 20-30 minutes. I was so exhausted and loopy at one point that I told SO to go out in the hall and offer $5 to the first person who would break my water in hopes that would get things going. By 8 am I was maxed out on pit and only feeling uncomfortable again ((still contracting regularly)). My doctor came in and we decided to break my water. I hoped that maybe this would get things going. Well it did and it was a nightmare! My body had been taking the pitocin as a joke up until this point. I had not dilated past 3cm still! It was such a funny feeling having my water broken. There was some concern because there was meconium in the water. :c My doctor actually told me that at this point we had totally committed to having this baby today and that with the way things were going, I should keep my options open. She knew I had been set on my NCB but things were looking more and more like we were going for a c-section. Trying to encourage me, she told me to be the one to prove her wrong and that we wouldn't call anything til around 7 or 8 that night as long as baby was doing ok. But there was still the distinct possibility I'd go under the knife. I was upset, but also clinging to a shred of hope that I could still deliver vaginally.
It didn't take long for things to explode. About ten minutes after they broke my water my body exploded. It's like my body just woke up and the pain was overwhelming. The contractions were one on top of the other and super intense because of the pit. SO was being soft and encouraging and working to help me relax like we'd been practicing in our Bradley classes. I held out for about 2 1/2 hours before I just couldn't do it. It was taking everything I had not to scream and I had tried every trick I could to relax. I ended up caving and asking for Nubain, figuring maybe that would let me get through this. It didn't, not really. I simply thought it was a supervised trip on ecstasy. Seriously, at one point I thought I was flying. My mind was not in the room, I was on my own personal roller coaster floating through walls and crashing through the floor and stuff. I was somewhat ok getting through the contractions for as long as I kept my head in the drug-trip state. It wasn't really what I wanted, but it worked for a short while. It didn't take long for the pain to burn through the haze though. I tried and ended up breaking down in tears. SO was still trying to ease me through each contraction and really he was being an amazing coach. But I couldn't do it. I was still stuck at 3cm and I felt like I was being ripped apart from the inside out. I told SO I didn't want the epidural but I did. I wanted the pain to stop. I was done, I waned my baby. But I didn't want drugs but I did. I was a wreck. SO told me that it was my body and he supported whatever decision I made. In tears, I told him to find someone and tell them I wanted the epi.
They gave me another shot of Nubain while they got things ready for the epi. I remember them helping me sit up on the edge of the bed and I was like "I'm leaking". And Alice, the nurse ((I loved her BTW and was so glad I got her on delivery day! I had met her on one of my previous trips in to L&D)), said that that was fine because they'd broken my water. I was like "No, I'm REALLY LEAKING." Then she realized how much fluid I was talking about. SO said it was like watching a fish bowl fill up. Fluid was just pouring onto the floor and they packed towels around me. So by now the second shot of Nubain kicked in and I was really loopy again. I was sitting there on the edge of the bed curled around a pillow while the anesthesiologist numbed the site and talked to me. Everyone was laughing at the fact I was so loopy that I was sitting there humming and singing while they were giving me the epidural. When she was placing the catheter SO said I was making some really crazy faces too and I told her it was cause she kept hitting funny spots. Once it was placed, they did my foley catheter and tried to get Brian to stay on the monitors. No dice. They did a scalp lead which was fine by me.
The one thing I will give and that makes me feel a little better about deciding to get the epidural is that it made my body work. Once I was pain free I could think clearly again and was still disappointed I'd caved and gotten it. But when they checked me an hour later I was 5-6cm dilated! I called my mum and said something about if I was pushing by 4, it would be great timing so that by the time she got to the hospital, it would have given SO and I time to meet our new baby before receiving visitors. She laughed and said it was nice but unlikely to happen by 4. A little while later I was dilated to 7-8cm and fully effaced. Woohoo! I posted an update on the NCB board and then decided to put my phone down and take a nap. I had been cold for a little bit and was shivering but it quickly got worse. SO had put 3 blankets on me and I was still shaking all over and he couldn't believe I was still cold. I was laying on my right side with m left leg up in a stirrup to help bring the baby down. I was laying there watching the monitor and my contractions made one big wavy line and Brian's heartbeat would drop down to 50-60 and then jump back up to 150/160. I could feel a little bit of pressure with the contractions too. I started to try and go to sleep and Alice came back to check me. That's when my nap flew out the window. I wasn't going to get it because baby's head was RIGHT THERE. I was fully dilated and fully effaced and baby was ready to come. She said she was calling the doctor and they made preparations for delivery. I wasn't truly cold apparently, I had hit transition and was about to have my baby!
Things happened really fast from there. The doctor got there and I was turned onto my back with feet into the stirrups. I pushed 3 times through each contraction. I got through the first and got a minute to breathe and then was told to push again. What I had earlier thought was a kink in my back then I was laying at an awkward angle was the one spot the epi hadn't fully covered and was achy. Nothing bad at all though. But it helped me feel the contractions. I pushed in the second and was told to stop. All of a sudden people started pouring in the door and there was a nurse on each side pushing on my belly and SO was told to step away from the bed for a minute. I wasn't sure what was going on but I wanted SO there with me! They told me to push again so I did. I pushed through one more contraction and he was out! SO was back by my side again at that point. Apparently Brian was born face down but never rotated at all, just blasted on out of me. Doctor had said something about "turtling". But the way he blasted out of me left me with a second degree tear. Oddly I'm glad I tore and didn't just have a routine episiotomy. Don't ask me why. Since I currently have a cold, my coughing has been ripping sutures out and I've been miserable anyways.
Brian Wyatt was born at 4:01pm. He was 20 inches long and weighed 8lbs 11.8oz!
Since there had been meconium in the water, I only got a few minutes of him on my belly before they took him to the warmer to wipe off and check over. I did manage to catch them before they tried to whisk him off to the nursery because SO and I wanted and hour or two to bond with our son before they had to do their stuff. Apgars were 8 and 9. We were left with our baby and I got a chance to feed him and hold him and SO held him. They didn't come back for him til the epi wore off and I was ready to transfer to my new room. I actually ended up with about 4 hours with him I think. My mum came up to the hospital and got to meet him too.
The whole experience wasn't what I had planned, but at the same time, it worked. Overall I feel it was a very positive experience and I love the staff and everyone involved so much. Maybe my next one will be my NCB. Now I'm home and holding my baby boy! Life is good. <3
Thank you GraysMama for my gorgeous siggy!