Room/bed sharers and a snoring spouse?

Admin-Rachel · #1 February 11th, 2012, 09:43 AM

Does your DH/SO snore? Do you think that factors into how well baby sleeps?

I don't know if last night was a fluke, but Keelan slept so much better. He still woke up twice to nurse, but they were like 5 minutes and he was back out again. I had him in bed with me and Neely was not home last night (spent the night working in his studio).

If when he's home tonight we're back to where we were a few days ago, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'd hate to ask Neely to leave the room since he has to work and needs a good night's rest, but dang it all. Keelan and I do too.

MommytoaMiracle · #2 February 11th, 2012, 10:35 AM

My DH doesn't snore but my pug does.lol
Her kennel is right next to the playpen in my room & my pups snoring wakes ME up, so I can see why sometimes it wakes Savannah up.

Dang dog.lol

DaniB+3 · #3 February 11th, 2012, 10:55 AM

Y-E-S. Oh, how I loathe the snoring beast that is my sleeping man.

John has untreated sleep apnea, so he does the thing where he snores with increasing volume, stops breathing for a few seconds and then lets out one BIG snore when his breathing cycle restarts. That one big snore wakes me up and also startles the baby a lot of the time. And this goes on all. night. long

. What's rich about this situation is that he thinks I am making it up! I swear I am going to put a tape recorder in there one night and catch some audio of it so that he knows how bad it really is. I try to wake him up to change position whenever he rolls on to his back (the position that triggers his sleep apnea most of the time) but sometimes he's so out of it that he doesn't budge. It really sucks. We're now forced to at least room share (although we do still bedshare, too) because we have someone staying with us now who is occupying the nursery, so I can't move out of the bedroom or else I would. I love John and don't wish to dissolve our nighttime sleeping arrangement as a couple, but he is in deep denial about the snoring and does nothing to help minimize it so the baby and I suffer. My old dental office that I worked at specialized in treating sleep apnea so I am well aware of the causes, symptoms, and treatments, and yet he thinks I am full of it. He complains that having the baby in bed is the reason that he doesn't get good sleep, but I know it's because he doesn't reach deep REM sleep with untreated sleep apnea. We'd ALL sleep a lot better if he did something about it.

Ugh....can you tell that this is a sore subject for me??

lrowe70 · #4 February 11th, 2012, 08:01 PM

^^^ similar situation here except it got so bad that I got my husband to have a sleep study done. He now has a CPAP machine mask thing that he is supposed to wear all night. When it's on, things are great. When it's off, things suck.

Dani: I found that when my husband had his head elevated and was on his side things were better. I gave him 2 pillows and would often put an object(such as a baby toy) next to him. That way if he rolled to his back, the toy would jab him and he'd roll back to his side.

mandy5586 · #5 February 11th, 2012, 08:05 PM

We don't bedshare but DH snores something awful.

I sleep with ear plugs and still wake p many times a night to him snoring.

It's better when he sleeps on his right side but refuses to sleep elevated or go to the doc.

DaniB+3 · #6 February 11th, 2012, 08:54 PM

Quote:

It's better when he sleeps on his right side but refuses to sleep elevated or go to the doc.

Same here. Like I said, he thinks I am exaggerating. I tell him that sleep apnea is linked to a bunch of other health issues and can cause a shorter life expectancy if left untreated, and it's like I'm talking to a wall. So frustrating

.

Admin-Rachel · #7 February 11th, 2012, 09:30 PM

Neely's snoring is bad and I think he also has sleep apnea. It's interesting because when he loses weight his snoring is completely gone. When I met him, he didn't snore.

His is also better when he's on his side, but some nights even on his side is bad.

Dixana · #8 February 11th, 2012, 10:00 PM

O...M...G dani you just described dale sleeping in bed to a "T"! He blows me off about toi and it drives me CRAZY! I mean for crying out loud you sleep 9 hours at night then have no problem taking a 3 hour nap by 11 am?! Gee, thats not a sign youre not sleeping good.
Men.
His snoring doesn't seem to phase Katelyn though.

DaniB+3 · #9 February 11th, 2012, 11:05 PM

Quote:

O...M...G dani you just described dale sleeping in bed to a "T"! He blows me off about toi and it drives me CRAZY! I mean for crying out loud you sleep 9 hours at night then have no problem taking a 3 hour nap by 11 am?! Gee, thats not a sign youre not sleeping good.
Men.

Yeah, virtually all sleep apnea sufferers report not ever feeling well rested. My mom has severe sleep apnea and when she did her sleep study she was reported as having over 100 episodes of apnea per HOUR. Craziness. That means she was never getting deep sleep. For YEARS! John is chronically tired - he can sleep until 1 PM and then nap two hours later. I wish he'd understand how much better he'd sleep if he did something about it.

Rachel - extra weight is one of the biggest factors in developing sleep apnea, as is smoking. John was fresh out of the air force (meaning he was skinny and in shape) back when we started sleeping over one another's houses early in our relationship and he barely snored at all. Now he has more weight on him and his snoring is out of control. Alcohol consumption within the couple of hours before bedtime also aggravates sleep apnea, and John loves his nightcaps. Ugh, it sucks.

caitbeans · #10 February 12th, 2012, 02:32 AM

this is chris too--he didnt believe me until i recorded him lol. he went for a sleep study and wears a cpap--if he has it on he does not snore. chris usually sleeps on the couch though, not only does he snore, he grinds his teeth and talks in his sleep. lol.

Admin-Rachel · #11 February 12th, 2012, 10:18 AM

See, I thought it would get better when Neely quit smoking, but it hasn't.

DaniB+3 · #12 February 12th, 2012, 02:11 PM

It takes time - and sometimes medical treatment - to undo the effects of smoking on the sinuses. Kudos to Neely for quitting smoking!

Mama.Angie · #13 February 13th, 2012, 06:17 AM

My solution is I don't bedshare with my husband.

I bedshare with my daughter.

It works I swear. We both sleep better. We make time for intimacy, and aren't lacking because his snoring, sleeping, dead to the world body isn't laying beside mine.

DaniB+3 · #14 February 13th, 2012, 08:08 AM

Quote:

It works I swear. We both sleep better. We make time for intimacy, and aren't lacking because his snoring, sleeping, dead to the world body isn't laying beside mine.

Ya know, I've been secretly feeling guilty lately because I wish John would offer to stop sleeping in our room, at least for awhile. He's been on this huge mission to get Miles out of our bed but deep down I'd rather sleep next to Miles than him

.

jdt · #15 February 14th, 2012, 04:55 PM

My husband sounds just like everyone else's here. He snores something fierce and it can keep me up at night. As for Joshua he must be used to hearing it b/c he can sleep through it. heck some nights i find joshua's ear right by his mouth and my hubby is snoring away and he is still sound asleep. So the snoring doesn't bother him at all.

Dani- My husband was the same way. Totally didn't believe me even when others have told him the same thing. So one night i recorded him with my cell phone and played it for him the next morning. Ha he couldn't say anything to me then. You should try that. I've also put the video function on too and showed it to him.

Rachel- same with my hubby when he lost a lot of weight. The snoring subsided a bit. They say if you do loose weight it does help with snoring. Sadly though my husband isn't too keen on loosing weight.

Halfbaked · #16 February 15th, 2012, 04:15 PM

You guys totally described my DH. He has snored since he was a kid but it kept getting increasingly louder and then he started shaking the bed so that even if I had earplugs in and couldn't hear him, he'd shake the bed when trying to catch his breath. He didn't believe me, even after I recorded him. I sort of tricked him into having a sleep study done. We went in together for a routine physical and I told the doctor that he snores and I thought he had sleep apnea and the doctor set up a study. His test showed he stopped breathing 145 times an hour. Before they even had the cpap machine for him they sent him home on O2 because it was that serious. He still doesn't th ink it's a big deal but at least he wears his mask now. It took over a year of him pulling it off all night long before he finally started leaving it on.

Before all that, he slept in the guest room. I was waking him up all night long trying to get him to roll over or just praying he would be quiet. He still snores occasionally, even with the mask on, but it is SO much better.

Don't feel bad about needing some sleep. There are still nights when I can't sleep in the same room as dh so Natalie will sleep in her swing and I'll sleep in the recliner.