Forum: June, July, August & September 2011 Playroom
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My husband doesn't want to know the sex but I really want to know.
It feels really unfair that he won't go for a sexing scan whenever he doesn't really need to do much else. I'm the one that's had the morning sickness and had to stay off alcohol over Christmas when all I really want is a glass of champagne.
I actually feel like sneaking off and finding out myself but not telling him. I might do that once I get past the half way mark. I can't help it but I have a preference of sex so I really would need time to get my head round having the other sex if that's the case.
I think for me personally, because I want to know so darn bad, is I would find out and ask the technician to take the potty shot, mark the sex on it, and seal it in an envelope. That way if he decides later that he wants to know, you can give him the envelope. But once again, that's just me.
I've suggested that but he says i'll end up saying something that will give the sex away to him. He's so **** stuck in his ways.
He's got no preference to a boy or girl and doesn't seem to realise that I really need time to get used to it if it turns out not to be my preference. I can't even speak to my friends about it because they all think i'm some kind of evil witch for having a preference in the first place.
And I just realised I used my 200th post to rant about the thing i've been saving for when I can get access to the private bit!
I'd probably just tell him he has no choice in the matter. If he doesn't want you to tell him then I would respect that and not go shouting it from the roofs or buying massive quantities of pink or blue and showing him BUT if you purely want to know for emotional preparation then I would just tell him that. To me it's not fair to give into his wishes more than yours.
__________________ Wife to a wonderful Man , mommy to a beautiful little girl & handsome little boy!
I'll keep trying him. I just don't want to cause an argument as we wouldn't normally argue. Even if I find out what it is only a few weeks before the due date I think it will really help me. He's not normally selfish and I don't normally make demands but to me this is really important.
I've always been good at keeping quiet, like if I accidentally find out who's won an F1 race then I can keep it quiet & not tell him but that's only for a few hours.
Would he be more comfortable with the tech writing it on a paper and sticking it in an envelope for the two of you to open together a little further down the road? That sounds like a good compromise to me. I was in the exact same boat as you, a month ago, and I was ready to pick a fight and say, "You have zero say, I'M carrying this baby, so bug off!" But then I actually decided it would be fun to wait, so we're not finding out. But if you really want to know, then you've got to stick to your guns and let him know that you're just as committed to knowing as he is to not knowing.
I think you should just stick to your guns. Like you said, you're the one who has to make all of the sacrifices so it's not his place to say what YOU can and can't do. I would just tell him that he has no choice, you are finding out and if he doesn't want to know, you won't tell him.
I was the opposite. SO wanted to know and I didn't LOL. But I gave in because he pouted And my family lives far away so it will be easier to know. And now I'm excited to find it in a month. But I agree and stick to your guns and find out if you want to and put it in an envelope in case he changes his mind
I couldent do it, if he dissagreed with me, i wouldent give in to him. Im the one who has to go through hellish pregnancies with vomiting for months on end, loosing weight, pregnancy pains, migraines,labor and birth, then the breastfeeding pain. No, this one is my call, if he didnt want to know and came to the US i would say step out because im finding out now. It might be rude and disrespectful, but for my peace of mind, i have to know.
My husband dosent understand my feelings but he lets me have it my way. He would rather not find out. But its not up to him. Believe me, i hear all the time from my MIL how badly i disrespect him in this regard.
hehe oh man...I have to agree...you are the one carrying the baby and doing all the work for this baby. I personally would want to know so I can bond better with the baby. If he doesnt go with you to the appts or u/s I would just say the doctor and or tech accidentally told you so now you know lol. But I wouldnt go out of my way to hide it either.