Forum: June, July, August & September 2011 Playroom
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I was hoping to get some ideas for compromising with my DH on a middle name for a boy. Family is very important to us and while we don't want to give our children the first name of a family member, we'd like the middle name to have some significance.
DH wants the middle name to be his middle name, which is his dad's first name. I want the middle name to be my dad's first name. I love my in laws and my father-in-law, but my dad was the only boy and had all girls, so my maiden name will end after my generation and I feel like this is a nice way to honor my family.
I've offered that we could do both middle names (Joseph and Scott) and DH nixed that idea. There for awhile, I searched for a name that somehow combined the two into one, to no avail. My other idea has been to go back several generations on both sides of our family and see if we can find a common name. So far though, no luck.
And here's where it gets really tricky- if we have a girl, we both agree on the middle name, which is my middle name. It's been a family name passed down from generation to generation and DH and I both love it. And it goes really well with the first name that HE loves and is his favorite (I've warmed up to it quite a lot and honestly can't think of anything better, lol).
So while I like the idea of our hypothetical daughter having my middle name and the hypothetical son having his dad's middle name.... it may not work out that way and it won't actually look like that at first. If we have a boy first, it will just seem like we're naming him after my father-in-law and I don't want to hurt my family (besides, I'm the one going through pregnancy & delivery, right?!).
I understand where you are coming from.
Dh & I are similar.
Our first child was a girl and her name is unique, we picked it, we always tried to put some Irish in the kids names somewhere (first or middle), so her middle name was Irish. (Ciara).
My second child was named after his Dad (my dh) and also shares a name with his grandpa and so on up through quite a few generations. Dh asked me if I was ok with that and I was.
My third child has a middle name after dh's Grandpa. He was a huge part of his life and it was important to him, I was fine with that.
My 4th child has a middle name after my Grandpa.
My 5th child has a middle name after my dad.
Your compromise could be, since he doesn't want to use both names toegther, that you get to name 1st baby after your side and 2nd baby gets named after his side.
Mommy to 6 amazing blessings!!
I'm all for compromise. BUT . . . . . As I'm the one doing all the work carrying the baby and being sick and pushing a baby out, I get final vote. LOL I would never name the baby something my husband hated, but if he was kinda on the fence about it, I would get the final decision. Luckily, he liked the name I picked for DD. Her middle name is Noel. My stapdads name is Leon. It's Leon spelled backwards!! (See how clever I am. LOL)
This one is harder. I have NO boys names that I like.
I like the backwards name idea! That's really clever.
I just wish we could look in a crystal ball and know how many kids we're going to have (we think 2-3) and what the genders are going to be. Because if we end up having 2 boys then it's perfect- one has his dad's middle name (and shares that with my DH) and then one has my dad's name for a middle name. Problem solved! But I'm not comfortable doing that with our first when we may only have 2 kids and the 2nd could be a girl.
I kinda came up with an idea where I'm moving over to his side.... I said that if we find out this one is a girl and we decide to go ahead with the first name he liked and my middle name and we have a boy the second time, I'm fine with him having my FIL's name since then both of our kids would have our middle names.
It's also a way to help cushion the blow for my DH if we do find out we're having a girl first... he really has his heart set on a boy!
That is very clever! I would have never thought of that.
We are very much in the same boat. If this baby is a boy, which I think it is....it's the most definite last one, and I wanted the middle name to be Edward because that's my husbands middle name, but it's also his father's first name. Then it gets sticky, because my mother is going to get miffed because I'm not using my father's name. I don't like his name (James Martin), so....I know I'm going to be hearing about it too. With the last child, we had decided to keep the name a secret, and I will be doing the same thing this time. Less hearing about it, and other people's input. We just had a nickname for the baby while I carried, and my husband came out and announced her birth and introduced her by name. I loved it.
Last edited by accessdenied6875; March 18th, 2011 at 11:07 AM.
I don't have any suggestions for a boy as we came up with a boy's name that we both liked. But, for a girl we will use both a form of grandma's names. My mom's name is Rachel (I like less common names so we'll go with Raquelle - unique spelling for Rachel in Spanish) and my DH's mom's MN is Lynn - I'm not a huge fan of it but will use it. So, if we have a girl it'll be Kynsleigh(unique name we came up with) and then MN Raquelle lynn or Lynn Raquelle. You could see what the names are in a different language. I hear of some going with Hawaiian names, or other type names like that. Good luck!
That is a tough one. With my DD both names came from my side. Her first name was an aunt that made a huge impact on my family and her middle name is my maiden name since my dad never had any boys. When we had my son I thought for sure I would have to name him William because all the boys in my DH's family are named William and go by their middle names. Well that didn't come to pass although my son is named after my BIL who we don't think we be able to have kids. With this one if its a boy we are looking at following tradition and going with William but we get to pick the middle name . And a girl gets a middle name that is on both sides. Names are so tough and so very personal. I hope you find something that works for you both. Perhaps put it on the back burner until you know for sure the gender. Then you won't have to stress and you have time to think about it. Good luck.