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My Niece, Nephew and Brother are down for 4 days and I was super excited. My brother recently went threw a crazy divorce and finally got 50/50 custody so he is now able to travel from MD to GA to visit us more and we can finally form a bond with the kids, great bc it is just him and I and I want our kids to be close. It has been a day and 1/2 and my year old Niece has showed me that I am SO not ready to Mother a child. She cries and I have no way of calming her, at least she will come to me she wants no parts of my Mom and Grandmother my Mom last saw her in March and it wasn't like that but she is older now and babies adjust to their surroundings. Mom says she comes to me bc I am having a boy but she is not to happy. I wish I could at least comfort her. Well tonight is the test, my brother went out with a friend and I am babysitting. Gabby is asleep but when she wakes up and realizes it is just her and I only GOD knows what is going to happen. I am usually great with babies and they always LOVE me, what if I can't comfort my own Baby? What if he hates me and cries and cries and I can't do anything to help him? I went out with my Brother today site seeing and it is HOT in GA my poor Nephew said GA is just too HOT for me...lol...Well, I guess I shouldn't of did so much walking bc I am going threw it tonight as well. Since I got home I have been feeling a tightening feeling with his usual movements and my stomach is ultra hard which it never is, I feel the tightness in the belly button area with a pulsing like feeling. I am feeling pains in the private sector as well, my Mom thinks I over did it today. Am I in labor? or maybe it s the Braxton Hicks I hear you guys talk about. I am gonna try and get some rest bc I am in for World War 3 in the morning.
*hugs* I don't think what is going on with your niece is any indication of how you will be with your own child! It is totally different! It sounds like your niece has had so many new things to deal with lately, so don't take it personally we she doesn't calm down for you. She is probably missing her mom and just having a tough time!
There may be times (I know I had them) when your baby is small and he will cry and nothing you do seems to help. But that's just part of the newborn stage for some babies, my son had reflux and sometimes nothing I did would help. (He got on meds that eventually helped.) Trust me, as your little guy grows and develops you will be his favorite person, mommy! Over time you learn about your baby and their likes and dislikes and you'll be the best person to comfort him.
If you are just feeling tightening of your uterus with no pain, then it's Braxton Hicks. If you have menstrual period like cramping, that is contractions. Drink a lot of water and get some rest!
I totally agree with Shannon, it's TOTALLY different with your own child.
Erin had inconsolable times too, but she was worse with others than with me. She was still crying and such, but she seemed to do better with me. Babies know who their mommies are, and sometimes nobody else will do, and I think that's what is happening with your niece.
what if I can't comfort my own Baby? What if he hates me and cries and cries and I can't do anything to help him?
There are going to be rough moments like this :/ It's just important to remember that you are doing everything you can and the best that you can and try not to get frustrated. Once they are past the newborn stage your child will respond better to you than other people. Your niece is probably struggling with the changes that are going on and it's making her more difficult to console than she might normally be.
Yeah, I agree with everyone else. With your own child, it's totally different. I've never been one of those kinds of people who loved babies and felt super comfortable around them, but it was different when I had my own kids. I was worried like you when I was pregnant with DD. I was like OMG, it's going to go horribly and I'll have to deal with it forever. Well of course it didn't! It's kind of hard to conceptualize as a ftm, but believe me it's totally different when you're caring for your own child.
Everyone else already said it - your child, different situation. Just because you are a mother, doesn't mean any child will be comforted by you. Try not to worry too much, once your baby is in your arms, that's the only place he'll want to be!
Comforting someone elses child is so different, you don't know how they like to be held, or if they like their back rubbed or patted, if they like to be rocked or bounced, little things like that.
With your baby you'll learn together what works, you'll know that patting your baby's back while rocking works like a charm, but that rubbing his back while bouncing only makes him cry more.
If I took my nephew's reaction to me as any indication of how my kids would react to me I'd never have kids! I have 5 nephews and can't calm a one of them down when they're upset and these are boys I've seen at least weekly since birth.
Hugs & Kisses TO U ALL..
I so needed the encouraging words that ALL 8 of you have written here. Funny thing my Niece won't leave my side and my poor Mom just can't get a break with her. I said I hope it is different with Baby Boy, she says OH it will bc he is going to grow up with me...lol... She is such a sweet baby and my Grandmother believes she misses her Mom even though her Dad is here NO one can comfort you like your Mom. I sat and realized this must be so very hard on a 14 month old, God Bless her little heart. She is laying here next to me knocked out I am so gonna miss her, having fun dressing her and doing her hair I need a girl..lol
OK, now me. Mom and Granny says the baby is stretching and getting my body ready for delivery. I am convinced I know what Braxton Hicks feels like now...lol...My poor tummy was hardening and tightening and I was going crazy, I am sure all that walking and heat brought it on. Today, I was feeling the tightening but not as bad, he stays bunched up under my ribs on the left side and it is painful. He is VERY VERY active which I am glad to feel.
I'm glad you feel better. and I'm sure you will do just fine with your son. As everyone else said, it's a whole 'nother ballgame when it's someone else's child, especially if they don't know you. It doesn't matter how experienced you are either. Your baby, new ballgame. You and your little guy will be just fine together.