[lrowe70]

If I only learn 1 thing from this journey we call parenting, it's that I will never judge someone's parenting based on just 1 interaction.

Apparantly I've become one of "those moms" and I know people are judging me.

Two days in a row we've gone out to eat. Both times the babe was TERRIBLE!

First restaurant:
he screamed, yelled, climbed on the table, threw food, dropped silverware and condiments, kicked when we put him in the highchair, spilled a glass of water...

Second one:
same as above and finally I ended up putting him on the floor because that was the only spot where he would keep sort of quiet. Of course a waiter tripped over him. Finally I took him into the bathroom (of all places) just so everyone didn't have to hear him.

I'm sooo embarrassed and don't know what to do. I could see other people there giving us dirty looks and rolling their eyes. I wanted to hide under the table.
We gave him food, treats, bottles, toys, I-Pod games...all of which he threw on the ground. We made sure he was rested, dry and fed beforehand.

Suddenly he's decided restaurants are places for acting like a maniac.
My initial reaction is to not take him to restaurants anymore(which is semi do-able). However we have a super formal dinner to attend in a few weeks. He has to wear a tux and everything. I'm dreading it, I know he's going to be awful and everyone is going to think I'm the worst mom with the worst child ever.

Any advice? Is this a phase or am I doing something wrong? Or is he really a bad kid? I'm totally lost.

Oh, and we've gone to many restaurants over the past 10 months and haven't had problems, at least none that couldn't be quickly solved.

[~Rae~]

Yeah, I think its hard when you become the person you used to look at, pity, or be annoyed at. My kids are well behaved in restaurants, & I haven't experienced anything embarrassing yet. I do take them to family friendly places only though. Yes it severely limits the places we can go to, but we save the more upscale, intimate places for date nights. By only going to family friendly places, we don't have to worry about them potentially spoiling someone else's dinner because they're doing what comes natural to them.

So I guess my only advice is not to take him places where he can't be a kid, or don't take him to restaurants at all until he's a bit older.
As for the formal dinner, just be ready to excuse yourself when he gets antsy, or even right before he gets antsy. Maybe take him outside so he can walk around & be free for a little while & then return to dinner. Do it as many times as he needs it. The other guests will get it.

[w292737]

at this age, it's just a phase. just keep trying, though i'd skip a formal dinner for him. get a sitter and leave him where he can be a kid.

[Admin-Rachel]

Originally Posted by ~Rae~

Yeah, I think its hard when you become the person you used to look at, pity, or be annoyed at. My kids are well behaved in restaurants, & I haven't experienced anything embarrassing yet. I do take them to family friendly places only though. Yes it severely limits the places we can go to, but we save the more upscale, intimate places for date nights. By only going to family friendly places, we don't have to worry about them potentially spoiling someone else's dinner because they're doing what comes natural to them.

So I guess my only advice is not to take him places where he can't be a kid, or don't take him to restaurants at all until he's a bit older.
As for the formal dinner, just be ready to excuse yourself when he gets antsy, or even right before he gets antsy. Maybe take him outside so he can walk around & be free for a little while & then return to dinner. Do it as many times as he needs it. The other guests will get it.

I agree. It is a phase, and one that I hate!

[lrowe70]

Originally Posted by w292737

at this age, it's just a phase. just keep trying, though i'd skip a formal dinner for him. get a sitter and leave him where he can be a kid.

I would love to, but it's an out-of-town, black tie event where we don't know many people so a sitter isn't an option.
We'll probably end up eating in shifts. Which sucks because one of us will be all dressed up eating alone, while the other is hanging out dressed up with a screaming baby in a hallway or restroom.
*sigh*
One of these moments when I wish we hadn't decided to have kids.

My husband suggested that we eat a McDonalds a few times so babe can "practice" how to behave.

[w292737]

if someone isn't getting married, honestly then I'd stay home.

there are some times/places that kids really don't need to be taken. and maybe at an older age it would be more practical, but taking a 9/10/11 month old to a formal dinner is just not something I'd ever do. JMHO

and at this age, it's not a matter of behaving. children simply do not have the ability to comprehend things like how to act in a restaurant at this age.

[mom2more]

I do think its a phase. I remember my older son doing the same thing at this age. I had gone to lunch with a childless older relative and she looked kinda shocked about him tossing stuff on the ground and fussing. I just held my smile and joked about how she would never have to deal with this phase since she never had children.

Last night we went to dinner with friends. I let baby take a late nap, packed bottles and snacks and toys. And he fussed, didn't want to be in a high chair. Hubby and I took turns holding him...till he knocked hubby's drink onth himself and hubby! Then I took over for quite a while

I think we just have to get through it. And I am not sure if never going to another restaurant is an option...maybe if we keep going to restaurants on occasion he will improve??

[Brittanie]

Originally Posted by lrowe70

My husband suggested that we eat a McDonalds a few times so babe can "practice" how to behave.

You know, that's what they have to do. They don't instinctively know it. Behaving well is not something that comes naturally, it comes from being taught. Yes, it's a phase, but if you go to a place where fussing doesn't matter as much to help them learn it, then it should be good. My kids are well behaved (though Allison is liking this. She doesn't like the high chair) NOW, but they weren't always.

And to be honest, we don't ever go out to upscale places because we can't afford it.

I agree with Ro though, do you REALLY need to attend the black tie event? Because if you can't get a sitter, that sounds like torture for all of you.

[MommytoaMiracle]

Savannah is a crap head at restaurants, too.

The things I find that work for her are giving her toys she only plays with in restaurants, so they are new & intriguing to her. Keeps her busy for a while. Also, I keep her tray full of food, so her mouth is full & not able to scream! haha

Good Luck!!

[Mod-navywifey2003]

It really is the age they can not comprehend the way they are suppose to act in restaurants as they can not comprehend right from wrong. They simply are not old enough to understand that there is a time and place for things. If Everett is fussy we will put him on our lap or play peek a boo just anything to entertain them. But we really dont go to restaurants that much anyways, but there is not much you can do at this point. Sometimes even at an older age it can be tough. 3 is real fun.

[Mod-navywifey2003]

Another thing people around you need to realize is he is still a baby he does not know that his behavior is wrong. The dropping things and throwing things is an exploratory thing, they want to see what happens when they do something, they want to see if they get a reaction. Its how they learn the world around them. I think people are too quick to judge parenting of infants when in reality its not a parenting issue at this age, it is just an age. Its obvious that people who judge how a baby acts either A dont remember what it was like to have their own babies or B do not have children themselves. Sometimes my 5 year old isnt the best behaved in restaurants but that is sometimes a parenting issue and sometimes its the time we are in the restaurant is he hungry or tired? Has it been a long day? I have to ask myself these questions before we go out anywhere and if I really need to go to X, Y, and Z. Sometimes there are just days where they have bad days and thats just the way it goes. They are human too and they are allowed to have a bad day. Dont be so hard on yourself as its really not a parenting issue right now. Your little one will continue to test you but remember that they really do not know that they are doing anything wrong.

[caitbeans]

Well Colton is great in a restaurant, but he is always great if he has food in front of him. So I usually bring cheerios to keep him occupied until dinner comes and he is fine. But Abby was a completely different story, she was SO bad. We usually would just get take out from the restaurant and bring it home, until she was older and would behave. I only ever bring the kids to more family orientated places as well that are loud so they drown out the noise they make lol.

[mandy5586]

Brynlee has never given us a "problem" in a restaurant so far (except yesterday when she was trying to poop and was being really, really loud with her noises), but that doesn't mean that it won't happen! We keep her very busy with food and her sippy cup. I got a sippy leash and she just drinks her milk or water and hangs out. We also got those little table toppers and put food on it and she just eats and chills. Sometimes we hold her and play with her, too.

I like what Lyndsey said!