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I've got salad waiting for DH and I on the counter - just need to dress it. Jack's having spaghetti. I've finally started to develop the strength I used to have (and lost while pg with Ruby) to resist temptation. If I were making spaghetti while pg, the salad would have been out the window. This time I can sneak a bite, and that's it - satisfied. It sure beats sneaking an entire portion.
I'm wearing size 6 Gap jeans today. That would be nifty, aside from the facts that
a) Gap runs BIG, for me
b) I can't button them without muffin top.
GOD I hate muffin top. Honestly. I can live with stretch marks, cellulite, and spider veins. But I cannot stand muffin top.
The obvious solution to muffin top, as provided by DH, is to buy bigger jeans. But who wants to go UP a size?!
Le sigh. I'm going to just savor the gouda and pecans in this meal salad, and try to ignore size numbers tonight. At least I was busy enough shampooing my couches today to forget to indulge in the snacks in the cupboard.
Breakfast - 2 cups of coffee + 4 tbsp fat free creamer
Lunch - vegetable lasagna with multigrain noodles and fat free cottage cheese
Dinner - meal salad (lettuce, pecans, gouda, and cranberries with balsamic vinaigrette.)
Feeling pretty good today - I'm back down to 146. My weight had popped up briefly after a heavier dinner, so I'm happy to see it squeak back down. In one more pound, I will be only 20lbs away from Ultimate All Time Goal.
This morning I noticed that my ribcage is looking smaller, and my backfat has gone down a little bit.
I haven't eaten much today yet - just a couple of coffees - but I will do my best to save myself. We have to go a birthday party tonight and the hosts always serve a bunch of deep fried stuff like zucchini and mushrooms. It's going to be a challenge.
Well! I did moderately well in terms of resisting temptation last night. Unfortunately there were jalapeno poppers and Mama loves her some jalapenos... so I allowed myself 3 of them. Add to that the birthday cake, and I was over my daily caloric allowance by 300 calories. Not wonderful, but not the end of the world.
Another good reason to avoid these sorts of foods is that I had an awfully upset stomach this morning - UGH. Definitely motivation to get back to clean eating today.
Haven't worked out in nearly a week. I feel like a slug, but with this awful head cold, as soon as I start panting during cardio I end up having a coughing attack. It sucks. However, I can continue weight training and ab work, so am back on track to gear those up today!
I am also wearing my Gap size 6 jeans and they're buttoned up - without muffin top (at least when I'm standing up. Sitting is a whole different story.) I am hoping that this is a sign that my belly fat is starting to go away - my arms, shoulders, and chest look much slimmer, and now my problem areas are my belly and my hips.
Food journal today:
Coffee + 2 tbsp fat free creamer
1 Blue Menu cranberry granola bar
1 Ocean's Spicy Thai Tuna serving
1 slice multigrain bread (HAD to give in, major carb craving)
1.5 servings Turkey & Sweet Potato Shepherd's Pie
Sorry, journal, missed a couple days there. I meant to do an entry but forgot.
So: here's a notion. I posted my opinion on a CNN article (light fluffy entertainment news, nothing serious) and another commenter replied to my opinion saying that based on what I'd said I was probably fat.
Now, while I'm a little upset by that remark - I'm not actually as fat as I was, but that person has no way of knowing that, and besides, it's a complete stranger - it got me considering the way that I am thinking.
Am I thinking like a fat person?
How do I know?
I'd like to be able to tell you that I am thinking like a normal sized person. But, given that my heaviest weight was 200+ (when pg with Jack, and when not pg with him, around 180lbs) and some other issues that I've been carrying around for 30 years, I can't say that and know that it's true.
I think I do think like a fat person. I scoff at skinny people and feel jealous and resentful of them - and really, rationally, there's probably someone out there who is scoffing and resentful of ME. Even though I'm not.
Even though I think I'm unattractive, even though I think that other women look great and wish that I could have the same control and determination that they must have to look that good - in the grand scheme of things, maybe I need to give myself a little more credit and quit feeling that way about other peoples' successes.
Stop thinking like a fat person. See how it works. I'm going to give it a try.
Food for the past few days has been good, too. I'm down to 145 now - so I have exactly 20lbs left to go to All Time Ultimate Bikini Goal. I've been using my food scale - LOVE that thing - and realized last night that my boobs are back where they started out after my lift & reduction.
I need to remember to look for successes even if it's not easy.
Argh. I feel annoyed with my weight today. I'm at 145, which is great - only 20lbs to go to reach final goal. I need to remind myself that when I lost weight after Jack it didn't happen super fast - and I'm feeling so impatient this time around.
I took my measurements today.
Bust - 38"
Waist - 29"
Hips - 38"
According to standard wedding gown sizing (the only dress sizing standard I could find) that makes me a size 12. The US Navy calcs say my body fat is around 29.5%.
Argh, argh, argh.
This week I climbed up hills with Ruby in the pack and Jack in the stroller. I worked out 2x with my DVD and will probably end up doing Just Dance for another half hour today.
I never eat more than 1300 cals/day, since my BMR is 1455 - meaning my daily caloric needs to stay alive are 1746. Therefore, even on days that I DON'T work out, I should have a caloric deficit of about 400 cals. And since 3500 cals equals a pound of fat, every 8-9 days I should be able to see a loss. And since I have 20lbs to lose, that means that in about 170 more days of eating like this, i.e. 24 weeks, I should be pretty close to goal.
So I can expect to be near to 125lbs near the end of September.
Well CRAP. I want to be near 125lbs near the end of August for my 30th birthday!! I need to ensure therefore that I shave 4 weeks off of this estimate, meaning that in order to achieve my goal my daily caloric deficit needs to be upped to 600 cals/day.
The only way to achieve this deficit is going to be to reduce caloric intake even further and up exercise and activity.
Eat 1200 cals/day, max
Burn addt'l 200 cals/day on workout days
Daily caloric needs = 1746
Daily caloric intake = 1200
Daily caloric deficit = 546
Days of caloric deficit req'd to equal one pound of fat = 6.41
Pounds of fat to lose = 20
Days of caloric deficit req'd to lose 20 pounds of fat = 128, which equals 18 weeks, which will be near the middle of August.
Who would have thought that a few extra calories could make such a difference in timing?
This also means that if I eat 1200 cals/day from now until the middle of June - with no exercise at all, which obviously isn't going to happen - I will be back down to pre-preg weight. I hate to think that it will have taken me from Feb until June (i.e. 4 months) to lose my baby weight, but on the upside, this is a worst case scenario. I've had plenty of days where I was able to make it through on 1000 cals, so 1200 is totally doable.
Can't wait to see the 130s again!!
Last edited by jillylicious; April 8th, 2011 at 11:21 AM.