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I remember a thread someone started several months ago that asked how we imagined our birth story happening.* I think I answered that he would come on his due date or the day after, my water would break at home, I’d labor at home as* long as I could, and then I’d go to the hospital and push 3 or 4 times and be holding my beautiful baby boy in my arms.
Well, let’s just say, that’s not quite how it went down.
My due date of January 15 (based on conception) came and went. Everyday I was looking for signs and felt nothing but uncomfortable.* I’d been sufferfing from intense pain in my upper abs under my right ribs for many months and it just got worse as the baby grew.* I was at my whit’s end when at every appointment, my doctor said, “Nothing’s changed.”* 50% effaced, 0 dilation.* I was sent to have an Ultrasound at 40 weeks to make sure my baby wasn’t breech.* The tech averaged him to a be 8lbs, 10oz and he was head down.* My doctor scheduled my induction for exactly ten days past my due date on January 25th.* I was hoping for something to happen naturally, and I tried the tea, the bouncing ball, walking, jumping jacks, DTD... Nothing worked.* The weekend before the 25th I accepted that I would be induced and tried to enjoy time with husband and friends.* The day I was to check into the hospital at midnight, I had lunch with two friends and got a pedicure, and then had a Mexican dinner with my husband and snuggled on the couch.* Looking back, I am so glad I pampered myself that day as it put me in the right frame of mind to deal with what was to come.
At midnight, we checked in.* The nurse immediately inserted the Progesterglandin gel and the waiting began.* All night I felt crampy, but it seemed nothing was really happening.* When my doctor came in at 7:30am to check me, I was so disappointed that absolutely nothing had changed.* 50% effaced, 0 dilation.* My doctor ordered the Pitocin to start immediately.* I was asked several times if I wanted to have the epidural administored.* In the months preceding delivery, my attitude about having an epi had changed.* When I first got pregnant, I joked that I wanted to have it put in while I was still in the parking lot.* But the more I read and heard experiences from fellow JM members, I thought I should at least try not to have one and see what my threshold of pain would be. Once I felt the first Pitocin contraction, however, that idea went out the window.* It was clear that the contractions would only get worse, and I knew I would get the epi sooner or later anyway.* We all agreed that it was silly to put myself through unnessary pain if I was going to ask for one at some point.* The anthesiologist, who we affectionatelly refer to as Dr. Dreamy, put it in quickly and it did not hurt at all.* It was such a relief to be free of any pain and just enjoy my time with my husband and texting updates to all my supportive friends.
As the day progressed, my progression moved at a snail’s pace.* Every hour I dilated about a centimeter. They upped my Pitocin a few times trying to get things going, but* It wasn’t until 7pm that the doctor finally came in and said I was ready to push.* All at once, things got super intense.* I had not mentally prepared myself for any pain.* I thought once you got the epidural, you would be pain-free to the very end.* I was wrong.* The nurse (who was absolutely wonderful) told me that I would feel like I needed to have a bowel movement and I needed to push as if I was.* My husband, who had planned to stay by my head the whole time, was instructed to grab my leg.* There was no sheet sheilding anything, and I remember thanking God that no* one but my husband, the doctor, and nurse were in the room.* Everytime a contraction came on, I took a deep breath and pushed as long and hard as I could three times in a row.* I’ve never felt anything more intense.* My doctor kept telling me in between contractions to loosen my grips on the hand rails because I would regret it later when I was sore. (He was right.)* The tears started flowing.* My calls out started with, “Oh my God, Oh my God.”* Then, “I’m not sure I can do this.”* Then, finally, “I CAN’T DO THIS!”* My husband told me to stop thinking negative thoughts and to try to push my mind to a clearer place.* I wanted to listen to him, but I couldn’t think of anything but the blinding pain.* He put on the DVD of Babies and I remember watching it and telling myself that these beautiful images on the television screen would soon be my reality too.
After two and a half hours of hard pushing, I could tell my doctor was getting seriously concerned that the baby wasn’t progressing down the birth canal.* He said he would try to suction him out, but if that didn’t work I was probably looking at a C Section. He called in Dr. Dreamy to adminster a delivery dose of epidural.* We tried through two contractions to vacuum and I pushed with everything I had.* Nothing.* The doctor looked up at us and said, “I’m so sorry but he is not going to come out vaginally.* I can’t risk trying any longer and you’ve done the absolute best you can do with pushing. I can’t put you through this any longer.”* I remember looking over at my husband, crying out how sorry I was.* He just looked back at me so worried, and said “Everything is going to be alright. There is nothing to be sorry about.”* *
Next thing I know, my husband was suited up in white scrubs and I was moved onto an operating table and being wheeled through the hallway. The drugs had really kicked in, and I was fighting to remain conscious, all the while crying profusely.* I remember seeing the faces of all the nurses as they pushed me into the operating room and hearing them wish me good luck.* The drape was put over me and my husband was seated next to me with his camera in hand.* I kept looking over at him, slurring out the words, “Wake me up. Wake me up. Don’t let me fall alseep. Slap me. Slap me.”* He just looked at me so confused.* He could barely understand me and was overwhelmed by all that was happening.* I could feel tugging and pulling on my abdomen, and it seemed to be taking a long time.* Dr. Dreamy told me that I would feel my OB pushing hard on the top of my stomach, and the nurse pushing from below.* I later found out that my baby was wedged into my pelvic bone and the nurse had to push her hands up through my vagina to pull the baby down while the doctor pulled his head out from my bones.* As they pulled they baby out, I heard laughter, and a nurse said, “Oh my goodness, we just delivered a toddler!” *
I was fighting to stay awake with all I had, and they quickly showed me the baby and let me kiss him.
My husband told me later that as they took him to the table to examine, he turned deep purple, almost black and they had to rescusiate him.* My husband said he never felt more helpless looking over at me barely conscious and his son barely alive.* It seemed like an eternity but in about a minute and a half, we heard him cry.* His apgar scores were a 4, then an 8.* They weighed him and he was a whopping 9lbs, 2.9oz and 22 inches long.* His daddy was the same weight and height at birth.
While I was sewn back up, my husband had a chance to show off the baby to a waiting room full of his family and our friends.* Looking back, I am so thrilled that he had this moment to himself.* Everyone said it was the most touching thing they had ever seen.* I wish they would have videoed it, but then again, it’s so special that the moment belonged to only him.* The nurse grabbed his camera and took this picture which I thought spoke volumes.
I was taken back to my room, and shortly after, the nurses brought my son who we named, Samuel Wayne, in for his first nursing.* I could barely stay awake but he latched right on and I made it through somehow.* I wish I had been in a different frame of mind, but I’m forever grateful that the nurses allowed me to have that moment regardless. This was taken right after I finished
The next few days were a mixture of nursing, visitors,* painfully trotting to the bathroom, and trying to sleep.* I honestly don’t think I slept for four straight days. I didn’t eat for over 48 hours either.* My mind frame can only be described as “out of body.”* Our son is perfectly wonderful.* He is alert, he can hold his head up remarkably well, and he is a bundle of happiness for me and my husband.
The delivery was completely opposite of how I imagined from beginning to end, but the outcome is so sweet that I don’t mind one bit.* I hope he grows up to be just as tenacious as was coming into this world. *
Your birthing story is amazing! I actually got teary eyed, because it was so touching.
I had a question for you, did they only give you an epidural and that caused you to be so drowsy? I'm deathly afraid I won't be conscious for the birth and I don't want to miss it. I may have to be c-sectioned because she looks so big already.
I was fine until that delivery dose! I was completely coherent and then the " delivery dose" hit just as they told me I'd be getting the c section. I was soooo drowsy, in and out, but somehow I remember just about everything. I was fighting it hard!