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I had an OB appointment where I tested plus two for protein. With my edema as bad as it was, my doctor told me to take it easy and if I developed any other pre-e symptoms to go to L&D. He also wanted to see me sooner than a week later.
Well, come Friday I had severe upper abdominal pain and off to L&D I went. My blood pressure was high and the doctor that saw me said I would be staying over night and most likely be induced Saturday. So my blood pressure sky rocketed. The nurse was awesome though and had me lay on my left side and relax to get some more accurate readings saying I had "white coat syndrome" which made my readings higher than they would be if I wasn't scared in the first place. I ended up getting to go home late that night with a jug to collect my pee for 24 hours.
On Sunday I went back to turn it in and got my blood drawn, again. NST was great and I was sent home.
Monday morning I had my OB appointment where he told me the results for my urine test and I quote, "We're concerned that the result is high when the protein reaches 300 (insert correct measurement here). Yours is 1700. I'm going to call the on call doctor because we need to get this baby out."
My heart broke. He explained that Roghan was fine, but I wasn't. I tested plus four that day. I teared up as he talked and was so glad my mom was there to hug me. He said he would love to let me wait until he was on call on Thursday, but since my symptoms developed so fast, he was extremely concerned I was already beyond pre-e and full blown eclamptic. He told me I would be started on magnesium once I got to the hospital, which should be immediately after leaving his office. I asked if I had time to go home and get my hospital bag. He said yes, but to make it quick.
I cried in the car and over the phone to my friend Kellie who had her baby two months before. I got home and made sure my things were all there, DH got there soon after to help. I cried the whole time. I wanted him to come on his own so badly. It was my dream to do everything nature's way. And it was being ripped away from me.
I told my furbabies good bye and our roomie drove my mom so me and DH could have time alone in the car. The ride was mostly silent and DH just squeezed my hand to let me know he was always there. I cried some more. I told him I felt selfish for not wanting this, that I felt like I should be excited to meet Roghan. Instead I was terrified of what awaited me. He just told me it wasn't selfish to be scared and that he loved me and that he knew deep down I was excited to meet our son.
At the hospital I had to double check all my info to register and they took me to room 5, where I would stay until I was no longer pregnant. It was 12:30pm on June 6th. I told them how I had been there twice over the weekend and the things I had done. They said that was awesome I had my blood drawn the day before, because I wouldn't have to do it again. I was rather overjoyed about that. I had the most wonderful nurse in the world, Mary, come to do my IV. She was very gentle and sweet. She did it quick and taped it down several times in addition to the safety so I felt more secure about not ripping it out.
Then they discovered the lab I did the day before didn't have all they needed and had to draw my blood anyhow. They apologized because they could have taken it at the same time they did the IV if they knew... They said because of my condition they needed four or five vials. Well the chick that did it was really quick and I commented on that once she was all finished. To which she replied, it's only two vials. My jaw dropped. My mom was like uh, they said it would be more. The chick did the let me check thing and came back and was like sorry, I have to take two more because I read it wrong and I'm used to only taking two from L&D. Stupid idiot probably didn't even read the orders. All I could think was, "Of course. The person that's terrified has to be poked two more times than necessary." Well, it gets worse. Twenty minutes later, another chick who did my labs on Friday came in and apologized profusely, because she knew I was scared, as she told me they needed one more vial. SERIOUSLY?! I avoided getting my blood drawn as much as possible during pregnancy, only to get it taken 3 times inside of 40 minutes!
They told me they were going to try cervadil first since I was only 1cm and 50%. They put it in at 2:15pm. They didn't start me on magnesium because they said it would slow down contractions but constantly were asking if I had any symptoms and watching my blood pressure. I was consistently 140ish/90ish. We just hung out and waited for something to happen.
Nothing did. At 2:15am they took the cervadil out. I was at 2cm and 60%. They decided that they would start me on pitocin after I showered.
I got a few contractions in the shower that continued until I fell asleep. They never really came back even though I was mostly awake and the pitocin dose went up every half hour. At 8:00, the new on call doctor came in and introduced himself and proceeded to check me. DH woke up during the check, not the introductions and my mom had to explain to him that was the doctor and it was okay! Anyhow, I was a whole 2cm and 60%. I was so irritated. Roghan was obviously not ready and it just made me more mad at the whole experience. Doctor decided to break my water and at 8:18 he did. He put in the internal monitors that I didn't want, but got because of my condition.
I went to the bathroom and contractions hit. Strong and hard. Out of no where. I went from not feeling anything to having minute long, minute apart contractions. My mom says they were a minute from peak to peak. Mary was my nurse at this point and she said she would turn the pitocin down to ten. I was like DOWN?! I have friends that only needed it at four or five!! I was just like no wonder this hurts so darn bad!
Mary also said she didn't think I would deliver before she got off at three. No chance in her opinion. I was like ahhhh! I'm so ready to be done with this!
Nurses since I got there had been telling me the epidural is great and that it would help me with my condition because I could relax and lower my blood pressure. I had kindly told them I didn't want it.
After those contractions came out of no where, I asked DH if he would be ok with me getting it since we had decided we didn't want to drug up the baby. And I really needed someone to tell me it was okay to not have the natural birth I wanted so bad. That I could change the plans and I didn't HAVE to do it that way. My mom cried and begged me to get it. She said your whole birth plan has gone out the window, what's one more thing?
I paged Mary and asked her to tell me about the epidural, which she already had, and she looked at me like I was nuts. I told her I needed her to convince me I should have it. She knowingly smiled and explained that the hospital had changed to the new epidural in October and it doesn't use narcotics. That was all I heard really because a contraction hit. But basically my understanding was that this epidural was safer for baby. I signed the papers and started the wait since one person was ahead of me.
At that point Roghan's heartbeat dropped a little and they started me on oxygen to get it back up. It worked but it was so hot inside that darn mask.
The anesthesiologist finally came and made DH and my mom leave. I was terrified. She told them it would be 30 minutes and they could come back. Mary was my support! She stood in front of me and rubbed my head to comfort me, knowing how horrified I was. The A told me I'd feel a prick from the numbing shot and then poking, but no pain. I was so swelled up the gave me three shots to numb me. Then was mad when I couldn't tell her if the needle was to the left or right or in the center. I finally felt it to the left, so she pulled out. She gave me three shots in another spot and tried again. SHe asked about the position again and I thought I felt it in the center but I wasn't sure. She took it out and told me would stop torturing me and call the head anesthesiologist.
Mary said it could take an hour for him to get there, so she said she would go get DH and my mom once she helped me get all comfy in bed again. He walked in right when we finished getting me settled... He talked to the other A about how she was from Romania and then found out Mary spoke French and literally talked to her in French the whole time he did my epidural. When he said done, I didn't believe him and asked really? He clicked the little thingy and asked what I thought. I smiled and told him he was my hero! I couldn't feel anything.
What I didn't know is that it had been an hour and a half since DH and my mom left. DH was a train wreck out in the waiting room especially when they caught my doctor and told him how long it was taking and my doctor made the "oh crud" face and said he'd check on me. They were allowed back in about that time.
The lack of sleep had made me angry while in pain, but with the epidural I was delirious. They thought they had me on head drugs, too! It was so nice to be able to relax. Mary checked me and I was at 4cm and 100%. SHE was excited for me and joked that she might be there for his birth after all! That was about 11:30. I fell asleep at noon and woke up at about 1:20pm because I felt pressure in my junk.
My mom said that was the urge to push and I called Mary. She checked me and I was at 9 1/2cm! She told me not to push because I would cause that last bit to get inflamed and make it harder. Not pushing was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. The urges got closer together and I cried through them because I didn't want to push when my body wasn't ready. By 1:35 I was at 10 and she said my doctor was delivering another baby and to not push. I paged Mary like 3 times in 10 minutes. She kept telling me it's not like he's reading a book! At one point I yelled at her that she might be delivering this baby! She said oh no I'm not and went to tell the doctor we were going to start pushing and to hurry up.
So she came back and helped me into the legs up position with DH holding one leg and my mom holding the other. She told me to push when I felt like I needed to. I tried to breathe through the pushes. I didn't know any better, I just didn't want to pop any blood vessels (yup, that's what I thought about!). Mary laughed at me and said girl what are you doing, hold your breath while you push and breathe in between!
The doctor came in and halted my pushing to numb me up down there. I felt the first shot on the left but that was it, he said all the mom's could feel it on the left today. A nurse came in and told him three and seven were ready and he was like what about eight, haven't heard from her in a while. Not five minutes later a nurse came in and said eight was ready. I remember being grateful that I was the second and not fifth in line...
I told him I wanted to avoid an episiotomy and he said yes ma'am. I saw him grab the scissors once and Mary very loudly said uh-uh-uh! She doesn't want that! And he set them down and said, sorry sorry! DH said he could see his head already which made me push harder. I'm not sure what really happened after that because the next thing I remember was having Roghan on my tummy, all slimy and screaming. They called it at 1:57pm. I rubbed his head and held his little body. I looked up and DH and we both cried. Another nurse put a receiving blanket on Roghan and me and her both cleaned him off. They took him over to be weighed and all that, my mom walked over to that part of the room with him and DH stayed with me.
The nurses said 5lbs and 11oz. I sat up and said what?! I was expecting a much bigger baby! My doctor asked Mary when I started pushing and she said 1:46. I could see my doctor counting in his head and I was like THAT'S 11 MINUTES!
They let my placenta leave my body naturally and then the doctor stitched up my one tear, a first degree I believe. I only needed 3 stitches. Mary took everything but my IV out or off so I could feel a bit more normal.
Roghan scored 7 and 10 on his apgar's and I remember hearing a nurse say, look at those feet! My doctor was like he only has four toes?! I yelled what?! And my doctor smiled at me and said he was just checking to see if I was awake. He was pretty awesome for someone I met that day. I appreciated how he was distracting since I was so scared of all that was happening.
Mary and DH gave Roghan his first bath and brought him over for skin to skin. He latched right away. Everyone left the room and DH & I enjoyed our new little, perfect family.
Overall, his actual birth was not too bad. It was the labor that was difficult and traumatic for me. I was sad that I gave up everything I had wanted, but what can you do? In the end I got my baby and that was all that mattered.
Thanks for hanging in there if you read it all! Here is your reward!
Elan Dakota 7/28/2012
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Awww, he's sooo cute! Congratulations! Pitocin can be torture, especially since you had such a high dose and as you say you have that "white coat syndrome" thing, I truly believe the epi was the right way to go, good for you!
Is 10 a high dose? I was at 26 by the time I reached 10cm and my contractions were still really far apart!
That sucks that you didn't get your birth experience. I can relate. It was awesome that you reacted to the pitocen and were able to have a vaginal birth and you have such a adorable baby boy. Congrats!