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Susan Olivia's reluctance to enter this world


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  #1  
July 25th, 2011, 07:13 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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I havent posted this yet, because I am still pretty emotional about the whole birthing process. But Baby Susan was induced July 16th. It became very clear the whole time that she was NOT ready to be born. She fought EVERYTHING they tried and as a result I ended up with a c-section. Its making my mommy blues pretty hard to handle due to a lot of feelings of failure with the whole process. I am working on my feelings but thought I would share what happened.

Here is the story as I wrote in my blog:
I am going to add/update details of this post but thought I would lay out how things went for my induction.

Labor did not go well for us. I checked into the hospital at 7am and they had me take a cervix softening pill at 8am to see if that would get things going. After 4 hours I was only 1 cm. So they started a pit drip. 2 hours later I was still at 1cm. So the dr broke my water (in that small amount of space). It hurt so bad, every cervix exam was worse than contractions! After about 2 more hours (with them upping the drip continuously) I was still only at a 1cm. I still hadnt asked or needed an epi. I was making it through the contractions and they just kept upping the pit drip. Things got worse at some point. They turned to drip up so high I ended up having an hour long contraction (it was one right after another with no break). My blood pressure had dropped and Susan's hr was going all over the place making the dr very upset. I was at my breaking point by then. I told the dr I needed something for pain. (that was a hard decision to make) They wouldnt let me get nubane due to baby's hr not being steady. So I got an epidural. I know I needed it but it was the start of my failure feelings. The dr took 30 mins trying to get the epi in. But once it went in, I started to actually feel better. they had to turn the pit drip off completely because the contractions werent helping her progress at all. After the epi went in, I went from a 1cm to a 4 within 30 mins. But baby was still all over the place in terms of her heartrate (like dropping super low then rising up too high for their comfort).

The dr finally came in about 10:30pm, and said baby had crossed her comfort threshold and we had to get a c-section. My blood pressure was still very low and I really had not much clue what was going on. I could not stop shakign and threw up a few times before surgery. Bf sat with me the whole time in the surgery room, trying to make me feel better about things. He was so scared the whole time watching all that was going on with my. He said he has never been so scared in his life. He still cant imagine what I was feeling. Surgery went quick. She was perfectly healthy coming out. She weighed in at 7lbs 12oz and 21 inches long. She was born at 21:58. The anesthesiologist told us she was a beautiful baby. He was super nice and very wonderful to me in the surgery room. He talked me through the surgery. I love her so much but the whole process made me feel like I am a complete failure. I also think it was a matter of Susan letting us know she was NOT ready to be delivered. She fought EVERY procedure they did.

But in the end I had a beautiful daughter.
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  #2  
July 25th, 2011, 08:21 AM
Quantum_Leap's Avatar frequent flier
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hon. I know it's hard to come to terms with an experience like this, especially so soon after the birth, but you need to remember that YOU are not a failure. It is the medical establishment that didn't trust your body in the first place and tried to force Susan out before she was ready. You wouldn't believe how many women have had similar experiences. This board might be of help to you: Broken heart - not broken Woman - JustMommies Message Boards Congratulations on your beautiful daughter, and I hope you can find some healing!
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  #3  
July 29th, 2011, 11:40 AM
.t.e.r.r.a.'s Avatar Proud to be a WAHM
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Location: Minnesota
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quantum_Leap View Post
hon. I know it's hard to come to terms with an experience like this, especially so soon after the birth, but you need to remember that YOU are not a failure. It is the medical establishment that didn't trust your body in the first place and tried to force Susan out before she was ready. You wouldn't believe how many women have had similar experiences. This board might be of help to you: Broken heart - not broken Woman - JustMommies Message Boards Congratulations on your beautiful daughter, and I hope you can find some healing!
You are not a failure at ALL! You have your beautiful baby girl in your arms, and she is healthy! That is what's most important.
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  #4  
July 31st, 2011, 05:16 AM
sweetdreamer1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: kuwait
Posts: 3,863
i can totally relate to u in this regard.. i feel like how u have described right now...!!! i feel i should have waited the rest of the two weeksand she would have come down and cooperated well with my induction .. but oh well what has happened has happened we cant chance a thing now hun.. all we can do is be happy that we got beautiful babies though our hearts are forever broken... soory i am of no help...!!!
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  #5  
August 1st, 2011, 01:05 PM
Jasonswife99's Avatar Super Mommy
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  #6  
January 20th, 2012, 01:20 AM
justjaQ's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sterling Heights, MI
Posts: 19,640
sending hugs, too. congratulations on your beautiful little girl. i'm so sorry things didn't go as planned, though.
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timothy michael, august 31, 2003, 12:02pm, 8 lb. 4 oz., 21"- 38 wks.
melissa may, april 7, 2006, 1:31pm, 7 lb. 10.5 oz., 19.5"- 36.5 wks
nicholas michael, january 31, 2010, 5:12pm, 5 lb. 11 oz., 18.25"- 37.1 wks
damon michael, january 21, 2012, 1:31am, 6 lb. 14 oz., 20", 38 wks
rainbow baby left me at 6-1/2 weeks on 09.08.12~ never forgotten, sweet child


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