[LessthanThree]

So I married Michael 3 months ago and at the time, I was going to take his last name. But over time, I decided that I really don't want his last name and I decided to keep mine (mostly because my last name is cool and his is stupid )

I want to put my *last name as one of our children's middle names, like Lucia Morgan L. L., rather than hyphenating their names. However, I didn't do that with Nathaniel. I wanted to hyphenate his name but in the end I didn't (because our nurse made a snooty comment, ).

So...should I put my last name after Morgan in this one's name or leave it out? Can I add a name to Nathaniel's name so they both have my name? I just don't want to regret them not having my name later.

Also, because I'm interested to see what other people have done, what did you do with your kids last name?

ETA: *I meant last name, man I feel dumb

[Miss Mo]

I feel you - I had a beautiful, unique and prestigious (in one American city anyway...) maiden name. My husband's last name is extremely common. UGH! However, I got married at 35, and was so happy to finally be getting married, and my DH was not really open to me even keeping my maiden name as my middle name, so because he's worth it and my marriage is extremely important to me, I went ahead and took his last name. I really wanted to have the same last name as our children, like my mom did.

My DS is named after his dad and grandpa, he is the "third." For this child I think I'm going to insist that his middle name be my maiden name (DH is not thrilled about that but not totally opposed either. The reason is that it does make an odd sounding middle name, but I don't really care!) My maiden name has a lot of history to it, and I want that to be recognized as he goes out into the world.

This is a hard one because your DS already has his name, and it depends on how strange it would be for him to add your name. I know he's young, so I guess now better than later!

[Irish_Wristwatch]

I would want both my kids to have the same last name so if you want to use 2 last names for boo i would change Nathaniels or use your last name as a middle name for boo, and if you want to add it to Nathaniels at some point i dont think its to hard to do

My kids have Dereks last name, and when we get married I will take his last name

[MissingJoshua]

My childern have their dads name for the middle name and mine as their last. We are not married.

[purplelady]

i kept my last name. i have had it my whole life lol and it wasnt something that i want to, or was willing to, give up. besides if having the same last name meant that much to him he could have always taken my last name
but all of our kids have his last name.

[MrsR]

My son has his father's last name, my ex-husband. We had the same name until I got remarried.

Seed will also have his/her father's last name, even if it would have been different from mine.

Growing up I had last name A, my (half) brother had last name B, and my mom had last name C, along with my step-dad and step-brother. It never bothered me or my brother that we had different last names, it was never made out to be a big deal in our family.

[rebecca0217]

I am a traditionalist, so when I got married I took DH's last name. I will share tho that when I was born my parents weren't married and because of pressure from her mother, my Mom hyphenated my last name, hers first, my dad's last. it really wasn't an issue for me until I got into college because all my stuff was under my legal name. I hated it. I ended up going thru a lot of effort to change my name so that it was just my Dad's last name (my parents got married 2 yrs after I was born adn since then have had 6 more kids, all with his last name). So at least from my prespective as the kid with the hyphenated name-I would have been much happier if was just one or the other. I think that the middle name idea is nice because your name is still there but when it comes to school and taxes and stuff it will be simpler just having one last name. just MO tho!

[blessedmom080911]

I changed my name when we got married and our kids have the same last name. It wouldn't be hard for you to change Nataniel's name if that's what you wanted to do.

[ashjuan123]

I hyphenated my name Martin-Flores, but the kids just have his!

[imAGine]

My DH has one of the most common last names in the world lol, and I love my mine so I will keep my last name. All of our kids, including this one, have only DH's last name because it's very important to him and I don't mind that they don't have mine. Plus, mine wouldn't sound good as a middle name.

I think if you want both of your babies to have your last name as well as DH's then you should absoloutley do it! How dare that nurse make a snooty comment when Nathaniel is your son and not hers! I don't think it would be difficult to change or add to your son's name =]

[kara74]

I'm traditional. I changed my last name when I married my husband. His last name is interesting and cool and of course I wasn't keeping my ex's last name. My maiden name is common and boring so I wasn't changing back to that. This baby will have my husband's last name, of course. My sons have their dad's last name. I don't like that they have a different last name but being remarried and keeping my ex's name wouldn't be cool.

[Snickers34]

My maiden name is way more interesting than my married name but..oh well. I am traditional, I guess. I have always felt like children should have the father's name because it is their mark of lineage? Make sense? Doesn't really matter though, I imagine.

[ReedsMama06]

I put other because I am undecided. My last name is not my maiden name... It is ex DH's and my DS's last name. I don't want to have a different last name than all my kids. It is very scary to think of relinquishing control of this and giving this child SO's last name, even if things are going well between us. My problem with it, is that any teacher, doctor, whatever that sees my last name and my children's last names will form their own opinion of my situation. And while I don't judge people for it, I know there are many in this area who will. I don't care what people think that much necessarily, but in my mind it just feels "right" to have that unity... Even though it is technically not my given name... Makes me feel closer with my son knowing I could have changed it back but I didn't. Another huge reason I am holding only the thought of using my last name is for legal purposes. I am still not certain I want SO on the actual birth certificate. So for all those reasons... I am almost positive I will give Lane my last name. I can always change it later if by some chance I get married to SO.

[meganmacg]

Originally Posted by purplelady

i kept my last name. i have had it my whole life lol and it wasnt something that i want to, or was willing to, give up. besides if having the same last name meant that much to him he could have always taken my last name
but all of our kids have his last name.

I'm rather vain about my name. It's just beautiful. (Megan MacScottish O'Irish... sorry I'm still leery about full disclosure in a public forum) I wasn't going to slap another last name on there or change it at all. It's my mother's maiden name and my father's last name. It's who I am and it has always been central to my identity. That said, I think our last names would be too long to hyphenate and DH may have had a heart attack if I suggested the kids take my name. It took him a while to warm up to the idea of me not changing my name. I was clear about it from the start that I wouldn't change my name so it's not like he wasn't warned!

I would agree, though, that whatever you decide both kids should have the same name.

[vancouvermommy]

Originally Posted by purplelady

i kept my last name. i have had it my whole life lol and it wasnt something that i want to, or was willing to, give up. besides if having the same last name meant that much to him he could have always taken my last name
but all of our kids have his last name.

I have never understood why/the concept of changing one's name to match their husband's.....we are two different people, so I couldnt imagine changing my name, that Ive had my whole life, that I worked to achieve two degrees with, etc.
Just because we are married, doesnt mean we have merged into one person, and I dont exist anymore. I guess I just find it unfair and sexist., and a strange tradition.
thats just me though

[eccomi]

i think my name has a nice ring to it (though that's probably because it has been my name for 32+ years ) and i'm quite proud of it so even before i met DH i had told family members that i wasn't going to change my name. lucky me that i met and married an italian because here it's normal for women to keep their maiden name! marco wil have DH's last name, as is the custom here.

[Seattlite]

I took DH's last name, so I haven't experienced this personally, but my sister kept her maiden name, so she had to deal with this dilemma. She didn't like hyphenating (not sure why) so she decided she'd given her son her husband's last name. She figured he came out of her vajayjay, so everybody knew he was hers, so it made sense to give him some strong connection to his dad. I think there isn't a right answer, just throwing out there what she decided and why.

[east to west coast]

I agree with some of the previous people who posted that in many circumstances it doesn't make a lot of sense for a woman to change her last name. Personally, I never even considered not doing it for one main reason.

My maiden name, although very Russian (my dad is 100%), was awful to grow up with and something I would never want to pass on to my own children. My sister is almost 30 and wants to change her name when she and her SO get married for this reason alone.

[laurenmarie]

I would want my kids to have the same last name as me. If you only use your last name than that's what I would want for my kids. You could always put your husbands name as the kids middle name. I think it would be fine to change Nathaniel's if you need to. I would do it now rather than later tho.

[dlnkcmommy]

my first daughter, we werent married yet. So she was Denelle middle name my last name his last name. No hyphen. With the next 2, I was married and they had his last name. With the twins, they got his last name as well. When we got divorced, I kept his name because my children had his name. So, I fully had planned to have this baby have my last name, which is my ex husbands, until SO threw a HUGE fit saying my child wouldnt have another mans last name. So, now, he will have SO's last name and we will see if we get married.