[Thismamaisonherway]

Hi ladies, I have been on here on and off but hope you all remember me! ( Bay, mommy of a 3.5 yr old and little bean due on 12/16) I made a very tough decision today and I dont regret it but I am not sure how I feel about it just yet. So my blood pressure has been pretty high my last appt and when I went in to get it checked out it was even higher. I have a great home life, a fiancee that is amazing and helpful and a great little boy but my work life is an entire other story. My job is so stressful that I cry about once a month at work. I am a paralegal and lawyers are demanding jerks sometimes! I have worked there for over a year, have proven myself to be responsible and have taken on many unrelated job tasks. Recently, two employees were fired on my team and before I knew it I had a stack of paperwork on my desk that was about a foot tall. There are 12 other paralegals and I do the job of 4 of them and when I explain that I think that is unfair, they try to sugar coat it and tell me its because I am such a great employee and a great worker, they are lucky to have me blah blah blah.
Another bone to pick I have is We get paid hourly not salaried which is a huge issue for me as I make great money, BUT every time my son has a sniffle and off to the doctors we go, its deducted from my weekly pay. I work minimum of 5 hrs OT a week and guess what, I dont get paid OT for it!!!! So yes I think I am justified in wantint to get paid for an hr doc apptmnt.
So I spoke with DF last night who God love him is the most supportive human being I know, and decided that I am going to have my doctor write me a note and go on extended maternity leave. If I keep going the way I am going my doctor willbe putting me on bedrest in the next few weeks. DF also has a graet job but without my salary it will be a big financial hit to us, but I think we can do it. Me not working will knock off 700/month in daycare alone. Also because I am working on my Master's Degree I can take out extra student loans if we are drowning. I have decided to tell my boss about it today before I leave but I have no idea how to do it!! Am I making the right decision?? How do I tell my boss in a nice way that this firm sucks and I want to leave and never look back?? lol

[D@mnedYankee]

good luck sweetie
BTW if your not salaried how are you exempt from OT pay?

[~LaNa~]

I'm sorry ur dealing with this.I really have no advice on how to tell ur employer.Sorry

U said ur paralegal? We don't have paralegals here so i don't know a lot about it.Is it a university degree?I guess so if u said ur doing ur masters.What r u in graduate school for?
I'm asking u this because here if u have a student loan,r married,have a kid and another one on the way,u can get around 900$ in burs for ur monthly expences.
At least here it's how it works.The amount goes with what u study.
Maybe this can help if ur quitting ur job?

[VikingMamma]

Girlie that sounds like a lawsuit for the employer... are you keeping your paystubs and documenting your hours?? If so you can march straight up there and make some pretty hefty demands! which you need to do. its ILLEGAL to not get paid overtime.

[Sweetpea24]

I agree with Lostiniceland. Just tell him it's to much for you to handle he shouldnt be pouring this all on you.

I thought you were going to say you had an abortion or something.. Whew!

It sounds like you are making the right and necessary decision. Enjoy your time off!

[seraphina]

YES! I think you are making the right choice. I had a job experience very similar.... and I was soooooooooooo burnt out I cried every other day! I was actually laid off from that job and was relieved. I have a part time job now that is low stress...and it makes a WORLD of difference. I am certian it is much healthier for this baby than me being strung out every day. And hubby appreciates having me available and not miserable IMO... I'd rather be happy and at peace than have more money and be stressed out all the time. Good luck!

[LookingGlassAlice]

Originally Posted by seraphina

YES! I think you are making the right choice. I had a job experience very similar.... and I was soooooooooooo burnt out I cried every other day! I was actually laid off from that job and was relieved. I have a part time job now that is low stress...and it makes a WORLD of difference. I am certian it is much healthier for this baby than me being strung out every day. And hubby appreciates having me available and not miserable IMO... I'd rather be happy and at peace than have more money and be stressed out all the time. Good luck!

Ditto. 100%..

You sound like, given the sitution, you are making the best decision for the health of you and your LO. Bravo for standing up for yourself.

[Meg1227]

You know what is best for you and your family. Just be homest with your employer. Inform him that you are pregnant and the demands of the job are begining to affect your health and your health comes first. Good luck!

[amrose]

I have been really stressed out at work mostly because of my coworkers so I decided to have a discussion with my boss after work one day. After I told him how I felt and sobbing I really felt a lot better about being there. Your situation is different tho and I believe you have made the best decision for you and your bean! Good luck and KUP.

[1HotMama]

I'm a paralegal too, so I understand firsthand what you're going through and have worked at similar firms.

Are they not giving you any sick leave or vacation even though you're hourly? If that is the case then that's just insane. I've heard of paras being paid hourly (I have never been as a para, but still) but never not having vacation/sick leave as part of compensation.

And for the OT, how is that even legal? Is that okay according to your state laws?In my state, you have to be paid OT if you work over 40 hrs. in a week. On weeks when I take vacation or sick leave, but still work over 40 hrs. I still get OT. The first hour is always regular time, but any time after the first extra hour is 1.5 hours up to a certain point, and then double time after so many hours.

As for the rest, if you just want a reduced workload for the time but still want to keep your income as long as possible perhaps have your doctor write a note for a reduced workday or workweek or lower stress level or really anything to make it more bearable. Your bosses would be forced to give your work to other people to handle. When I had my DD, I came back to work and only worked 4 hrs. a day and I worked in a busy litigation practice. It can be done.

I know how stressed you are and your health is important first and foremost. On the otherhand, if you guys depend on your income then I would really sit down and crunch the numbers firm about how you would make it work if you quit permanently (as opposed to going on medical leave now and reevaluating once you're not pregnant anymore). I would even try living on that income for a month or so (and saving the rest) to see if it works. I, personally, would be leary about couting on student loans to survive without knowing for certain you will get them, but that's just me. You say you're going to save $700 a month on daycare, but really if you bring home (for example) $3000 a month, really you're still loosing $2300 a month and not "saving" a dime.

Also, if you haven't been put on medical leave yet how are you going to survive? You won't get unemployment if you quit and you don't technically have a medical condition needing disability yet. I dunno... I do understand your frustration, but I would probably plan a little more and not just quit right now. But, ultimately you have to do what is best for you and your family.

[ComfortablyMum]

Originally Posted by seraphina

YES! I think you are making the right choice. I had a job experience very similar.... and I was soooooooooooo burnt out I cried every other day! I was actually laid off from that job and was relieved. I have a part time job now that is low stress...and it makes a WORLD of difference. I am certian it is much healthier for this baby than me being strung out every day. And hubby appreciates having me available and not miserable IMO... I'd rather be happy and at peace than have more money and be stressed out all the time. Good luck!

Ditto!! I think you made the right decision. I don't know anything about what OT is... (it shows as off topic when I hover over it).

Glad your DH is supportive of your decision also this must make your decision so much easier to make!

[tfitz07]

It definitely sounds like this is the best decision for you and your little bean! Good luck!