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I need to whine. I have so many emotions running through my mind right now and I need to vent/cry a little.
First, recovery sucks. It's so overwhelming- I feel like I've run 10 miles and lifted weights for hours. My middle section is weak from lack of muscle tone and just going to the bathroom is completely exhausting. I have a 1st degree labial tear so every time I pee I have to pee (not easy), rinse, blot, spray, new pad, tucks, pull panties up and then make it back to bed. I can smell the blood constantly and it makes me feel queasy- I'm not at all good with it.
I miss my son. Every time they come and take him for newborn checks and tests I worry constantly and just miss him. Everyone tells me to sleep but all I want to do is hold him- I've compromised to sleeping while he's in my arms- I feel much more secure. But that means when he's gone, I can't sleep.
My labor was in general really good. But I had planned for an hour or so after the birth to be alone with him and my boyfriend to admire him and decide on a name officially. Well what happens? My mother comes waltzing into the room-completely uninvited 15 minutes after he was born, proceeds to pitch a fit because we weren't telling her the name (that we hadn't had a chance to decide on) and sits around being really loud and obnoxious (may I say that I am exhausted at this point). At this point I was holding him skin to skin and a nurse came in to help me breastfeed for the first time, I told my mom I wanted her to leave for this (waiting room). She gets mad- throws a fit and starts crying and telling the nurses how awful I am and abruptly leaves. which leaving wasn't terrible but she was making a scene- she found a way to make my special day- the birth of my son- all about her. I resent her for that.
I'm overwhelmed with the healing process, I am so in love with my baby it's silly, I'm scared to death about being a good parent, and I'm highly resentful of my mother for putting such a damper on such a wonderful day.... and I'm physically, emotionally, mentally EXHAUSTED. UGH
OH sweetie. I'm so sorry. That is very selfish of your mother. I hope that she calms down and that you recover quickly. Congratulations on your sweet boy, you'll be a WONDERFUL mother. :hugs:
the first couple of days can be extremely overwhelming. so sorry about your mom, that is just totally unfair, but i'm glad you stood up for yourself and are loving your baby boy.
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I felt the sam exact way as you in the beginning. I hated having to wear a giant depends, I felt like a flubbery whale. I HATED whenever I had to use the bathroom I had to grab a pad, my squirt bottle and iodine and then mix the water and iodine, then run the to bathroom, pee, rinse, blot, change pad...etc. #2's still hurt for me from my hemorrhoids. It will get better though, i promise.
the first couple of days can be extremely overwhelming. so sorry about your mom, that is just totally unfair, but i'm glad you stood up for yourself and are loving your baby boy.
Ditto. I don't know how our mothers can make this day about them but they seem to do it easily.
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Last edited by daneeleigh; February 3rd, 2012 at 08:57 AM.
Sorry you are feeling this way It is REALLY tough at the beginning no matter what is going on in those first few hours/days/weeks. Im doubly sorry that your mum upset you, that just isn't on! Feel better soon girl! It will all even out soon and things will be great
I know how You feel now, I too felt the same same way and hated having others there. I had visitors come and go the whole time (mid breadt feed) I wish I had prohibited visitors.
After 2 weeks, I can tell you it gets better. I still doubt myself daily as a mother, I want to be good and constantly fear sets in that I'm not. I try to hake them away...being away from the nursery RN at the hospital is the reason. I loved thir constant motivation nd assurance... I wish I had weekly baby appointments...
i agree that this blood has a weird and awful smell. and tears and episiotomies are just hellish to recover from. hugs!
i'm like you, and barely slept at the hospital. i'd just sit there holding and admiring him. and the times when i'd get tired enough to sleep, he's invariably get super-cranky so i had to stay up. and hospitals don't let you co-sleep, so they were always waking us up to move him back to "bed". it's tough to be in the hospital. :-S
i'm sorry your mom had to make a scene, and insult you even!
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whining post- be warned. lol
which leaving wasn't terrible but she was making a scene- she found a way to make my special day- the birth of my son- all about her. I resent her for that. 
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