[blessdmommy]

Is it ok that I'm bummed that I didn't get my VBAC? I so believe in natural birth and tried for thirty six hours to go naturally and hoping that all would be go like I wanted. But it didn't. There was nothing I could do about Marjorri's heart rate or my blood pressure...it was just one of those things...

All I wanted to do was have a baby...ya know, the old fashioned way. *pout*

[melkissa2004]

Of course it's ok to feel that way. I feel the same, very disappointed over not getting my vbac. Still processing it all... (hugs)

[*Crystal*]

It's totally ok to feel upset. It's natural. You had no control of the situation, so don't beat yourself up

I'm sorry you didn't get your vbac I have so much respect for you guys for trying!

[philly78]

It is most certainly okay to feel that way! I was so very upset that I had to have a C-section and am still having a difficult time dealing with it. For me, my first birthing experience was very traumatic and I was hoping this time it would be a healing experience for me. I spent a significant amount of time preparing with exercises, reading material and doing the home study for hypnobabies.

I had it all planned out in my head as to how everything would go. But it didn't happen and I was actually more frightened this time around than with my first. I didn't even think that was possible!

We were actually going to try and have one more child but this last experience has convinced me otherwise. It was that bad for me.

Anyway....just wanted to tell you my experience. You're not alone and it is common to feel the way you do.

[TnPhotoMama81]

Definitely. I think it is something that can affect you for many years to come.

I am somewhat upset I didn't get mine...not as upset as I thought I'd be though. I was more upset before my csection ever happened - just knowing I was heading down that road again. Now I am just thankful she is here and ok.

Really hoping our doctor would be okay with me trying for a VBA2C one day if we ever decide to have another baby.

[Jessido]

Its normal and OK. I got a c/s unexpectedly and I don't feel disappointed but I get why some people do. You mentioned that you just wanted to have a baby and the great thing is thatyou did! She is here, healthy and you did it! Were all pretty blessed withour outcomes in the grand scheme of things

[shanirah]

Definitely ok, I struggled for years with my c-section and that I had to have it.

[blessdmommy]

Thanks ladies. I sometimes I get the feeling like because I haven't had a vaginal delivery, that I'm not a "woman". Ya know?

[queenofthecastle]

I would have been completely destroyed if I would have ended up with a c/s after all the planning that went into having out VBAC. I think that you should give yourself some credit though because you knew what you wanted and you went for it. It's not your fault how it turned out. You still ROCK!!!

[blessdmommy]

Originally Posted by outnumberedX3

I would have been completely destroyed if I would have ended up with a c/s after all the planning that went into having out VBAC. I think that you should give yourself some credit though because you knew what you wanted and you went for it. It's not your fault how it turned out. You still ROCK!!!

I think that's what bums me out the most...is that we planned and were so confident that things would go the way we wanted - and they didn't.

Now I sit here and sometimes wonder...will I ever have a vaginal birth? I'm sure we'll at least have 1 more child.

[luvmykids623]

Of course it's ok! I felt the same way when I wound up needing a c-section with DD. I had planned on having a great vaginal birth, just like with DS1, and it was hard to accept when it didn't happen. Everyone telling me that I just needed to be grateful for a healthy baby, and not be disappointed, didn't help. I was grateful for a healthy baby, but it's ok to mourn what you planned on and didn't get too!

[kikismith]

Hi, im from the Sept 2011 Playroom. I just wanted to add my two cents. Im an RN and you have every right to 'miss' or be 'upset' about not having a vaginal birth, but on the bright side and there is a huge bright side, Women who deliver vaginally have a 80% increase in developing bladder incontinence and uterine prolapse problems in the future. Also you may not 'feel like a woman' because indeed that is the way we were made to deliver babies, but THANK GOD that we have science and medicine that is capable to preform a c-section and birth that child this way before anything negative happens. C- sections are really a blessing, can you imagine if we did not have them, we would not have many beautiful children because birthing mortality rate would be much much much higher.
Also regarding you not feeling like a woman...well you probably feel more like a woman (down there) than I do, after birthing two children...my vagina is a mess. If it could talk it would say " C SECTION PLEASE" lol. Congratulations on your beautiful daughter. Hope I didnt offend anyone

[blessdmommy]

Originally Posted by kikismith

Hi, im from the Sept 2011 Playroom. I just wanted to add my two cents. Im an RN and you have every right to 'miss' or be 'upset' about not having a vaginal birth, but on the bright side and there is a huge bright side, Women who deliver vaginally have a 80% increase in developing bladder incontinence and uterine prolapse problems in the future. Also you may not 'feel like a woman' because indeed that is the way we were made to deliver babies, but THANK GOD that we have science and medicine that is capable to preform a c-section and birth that child this way before anything negative happens. C- sections are really a blessing, can you imagine if we did not have them, we would not have many beautiful children because birthing mortality rate would be much much much higher.
Also regarding you not feeling like a woman...well you probably feel more like a woman (down there) than I do, after birthing two children...my vagina is a mess. If it could talk it would say " C SECTION PLEASE" lol. Congratulations on your beautiful daughter. Hope I didnt offend anyone

This is true...guess I should be glad that I won't be peeing when I laugh or cough like the rest of you! LOL

[suzanneyea]

I have had both and I honestly liked my c section better! And I was 100% against having one, go figure. I was so scared I would not bond with my baby, but I was totally wrong on that point.

[Karine119]

Stopping in from the May DDC. I know just how you are feeling. While I will be allowed a TOL and VBAC if it happens, I know my odds are slim. I have never had a vaginal birth. With my first I am hurt because it was because I was uneducated and allowed my dr. to do things I should (and would not now) not have done. With my second it was a RCS that was scheduled, but the hospital treated me horribly and they actually believe I have a touch of PTSD because of how bad it went. My last I am still upset about it, but I am more at peace and content with it because I was at least allowed to go into labor and try, it just didn't work out. Of course we are all in love with our little ones, but I don't think the feeling of being a woman and not having a chance to birth a baby vaginally ever goes away. I get very jealous of my friends who talk about their vaginal deliveries and feel like I missed out. I honestly think over time the feeling will die down, but I really don't think it will ever fully go away.

[JennLynn_]

I know how you're feeling. I haven't even had her yet, but it's looking less and less likely the closer I get to Friday.

I just keep focussing on the fact that my daughtr was incredibly perfect looking when she was born and this little girl will be too

[blessdmommy]

Originally Posted by JennLynn_

I know how you're feeling. I haven't even had her yet, but it's looking less and less likely the closer I get to Friday.

I just keep focussing on the fact that my daughtr was incredibly perfect looking when she was born and this little girl will be too

I have 2 boys and love them dearly. But I can't believe how different having a girl is and she's only 3 weeks old. I am so in love.