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Dochas' shower thread got me thinking


Forum: May 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
January 11th, 2012, 06:21 PM
Jennmarie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I wanna ask for advice. And I hope I don't sound greedy..but the honest deal is we are barely on stable ground financially, and are really going to need the help a shower could give us.

(back story information)I don't really have a whole lot of real life bestfriend/girlfriends..I have a few but we are more party-friends/go out friends than true blue best friend; if that makes sense. I'm just not very good at developing and maintaining friendships, and don't trust many women in real life with personal stuff. That being said, I have a large circle of women I'm friendly with and hang out with/go to their kids bday parties etc., who are all friends of DHs/Dhs friends. They've never thrown me a shower, they did throw dh and I a couple's shower for our wedding though. What I was kind of thinking I'd like is just to have a get together shower-type party. The only shower I ever had was one my mom's family did in her hometown, 3 hours away with just family. I don't mind calling it a sprinkle or covering the majority of the expenses for it..but I'd really like to have a local shower.

So, what I was thinking about asking DH to do was ask his cousin's wife or one of his other buddies wives about just helping me host a sprinkle. We order payperview UFC fights pretty often, just b/c me and DH are into it and some of his friends come over to watch the fights with us. I was thinking about syncing up a small party on the night of one of the fights, and seeing if someone would just send out the invites or spread the word about having a small couple's shower at our house before the fight. Then I could still cover a lot of the cost of food/etc., but still get to have a celebration for this baby girl. Nothing formal at all, just our friends hanging out..I was thinking the guys could hang out while the girls do gifts, or just do it all together or whatever; then just chill and watch the fight afterward..
Is that too tacky? It would definately feel like begging to me even to have DH ask about it. Any other ideas?
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  #2  
January 11th, 2012, 07:28 PM
.:fearless:.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Baby showers are just fun! Every child should be celebrated! I think that if you dont register that would be just fine.
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  #3  
January 11th, 2012, 09:52 PM
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That sounds like a couples shower idea to me! I think that's pretty creative! Go for it
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  #4  
January 11th, 2012, 10:18 PM
alilangel7's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think it's a great idea!
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  #5  
January 12th, 2012, 08:06 AM
Jennmarie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks ya'll!! Do you think I should see if he can find someone to send out invites and set it up, or just do like an informal facebook event?
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  #6  
January 12th, 2012, 08:15 AM
Kristin
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I don't think it's tacky - even if you just do an informal facebook thing. It's easy and with her not being your first, I think people will be cool with it being easy and not so structured.
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  #7  
January 12th, 2012, 08:21 AM
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I would not send out anything to formal as far as invites..maybe just call or facebook.
If you send out invites it might make it seem like your asking for gifts when really all you wanted was to celebrate baby girl.
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  #8  
January 12th, 2012, 09:20 AM
aka shawna
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a friend of mine does those facebook invite for the fights quite often. asks people to bring a little something to cover cost. like 5 bucks i think. never gone, only read the invite. but point being, it never came across as begging. just add there will be a baby celebration for the girls on the night of. people love buying baby clothes, so i don't think you'll even have to mention gifts, it'll come naturally.
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  #9  
January 12th, 2012, 09:54 AM
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That's a cute idea... I too don't have really any friends here so I don't know what I'll be doing about a baby shower... I probably won't have one for Aubrey. Luckily I have a lot for her already and only need to purchase a few things which I know my parents and DH's parents will help out.

I'd say Facebook is a good place to post the invite.... You could always do a raffle of a gift card ($25) or so if they bring a pack of diapers.. That way at least you get a bunch of diapers. Lol
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  #10  
January 12th, 2012, 10:11 AM
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Well I don't believe in second showers, but my friend who had her first girl had a girl party. You can make pink martinis, cupcakes, pink food. Do evites online and send them out. Give it a name that combines the shower and fight. As long as people understand it's both, I'm assuming you want people to bring gifts.
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  #11  
January 12th, 2012, 10:57 AM
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I think it sounds like a great idea and I agree with PIP evites sound good.
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  #12  
January 12th, 2012, 10:59 AM
Jennmarie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Good ideas ladies! I like the raffle idea, and Pip's,the pink themed-fight night one too. Just being honest here, I do want gifts..I want her to start out as well as Toby and Logan did, but I'm not sure we will be able to provide that. That being said, I definately won't be making a registry or asking anyone for gifts..I want to celebrate her life too..so Idk. This is why 2nd showers are confusing. But on the other hand, I kind of feel justified since we've never done one here. I think I will run it by DH and see what he thinks.. and probably just plan the celebration and if people get miffed that I'm doing it, then they can just be miffed.
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  #13  
January 12th, 2012, 11:04 AM
dream2bemommy22's Avatar and baby makes 5
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Im slightly confused, and i hope im not coming off out of line here. You want to host a party for yourself and pay for all the food ect, but you cant afford to buy baby things? It just seems kind of backwards to me. If someone was throwing it for you, that would be one thing, but paying for it yourself just seems like a step backwards.

And IMO, sprinkles dont generally generate the kind of gifts that a first baby shower, or a baby shower after many many years do. People are more likely to buy you some clothes and diapers, which while helpful isnt particularly what you in search of.

have you tried looking on craigslist, or even joining a freecycle group. Freecycle is a yahoo group, its free to join and basicaly you and other people in your community give away items they are no longer using, you can even request for items. I actually got a brand new highchair , a used double stroller and ive given away tons and tons and tons of baby girl and boy clothes that my kids have outgrown. As for Craigslist, people are constantly selling baby items CHEAP!!

there are ways to get the things you need without hosting a shower. Im not trying to discourage you, just give my side of it. I do think all babies should be celebrated, and i wish i lived in a situation where i could get another baby shower, becuase we need so much stuff still, since i got rid of it all thinking we were done.

What i think is more fun is a "come meet the baby" party after the baby is born. I know where i come from its frowned upon to have baby showers after your first one, especially when the babies are so close together, although that hasnt stopped me from going to them and bringing a gift. =)
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  #14  
January 12th, 2012, 02:06 PM
Jennmarie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dream2bemommy22 View Post
Im slightly confused, and i hope im not coming off out of line here. You want to host a party for yourself and pay for all the food ect, but you cant afford to buy baby things? It just seems kind of backwards to me. If someone was throwing it for you, that would be one thing, but paying for it yourself just seems like a step backwards.

And IMO, sprinkles dont generally generate the kind of gifts that a first baby shower, or a baby shower after many many years do. People are more likely to buy you some clothes and diapers, which while helpful isnt particularly what you in search of.

have you tried looking on craigslist, or even joining a freecycle group. Freecycle is a yahoo group, its free to join and basicaly you and other people in your community give away items they are no longer using, you can even request for items. I actually got a brand new highchair , a used double stroller and ive given away tons and tons and tons of baby girl and boy clothes that my kids have outgrown. As for Craigslist, people are constantly selling baby items CHEAP!!

there are ways to get the things you need without hosting a shower. Im not trying to discourage you, just give my side of it. I do think all babies should be celebrated, and i wish i lived in a situation where i could get another baby shower, becuase we need so much stuff still, since i got rid of it all thinking we were done.

What i think is more fun is a "come meet the baby" party after the baby is born. I know where i come from its frowned upon to have baby showers after your first one, especially when the babies are so close together, although that hasnt stopped me from going to them and bringing a gift. =)
I get what you are saying, totally. You're right on the cost of throwing a party thing..I can get stuff for super cheap/free through work as far as food and plates; that's the main reason its an option for me. (Also, if I do decide to do a party, it would definately not be any kind of extravagant/pricey. Cheese dip, fruit, cupcakes, chips & dip, pink punch/adult drink and that's probably about it.) I do freecycle/yardsale/cl/consignment, all those saving money things. I like the idea of a come meet baby party too; the only thing for me is that ds2's bday is June 4th, and she is due May 30th. So I don't want to combine his party with her, or take away from him. I bolded that part of your post, because that's exactly what I'm looking for..I have most of the bigger gear I need from the boys and am reusing..just nothing for a girl clothes/socks/ bibs/blankets/etc.

Honestly, I think I just want to have a party/shower etc. Its probably selfish, and a little greedy, and I'll admit that. But I've gone to all these other girl's stuff and brought decent gifts, and would like the same in return. (I get that I sound ungrateful/******..just venting here really, b/c I'd never let anyone in my actual circle know I feel this way.)
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  #15  
January 12th, 2012, 02:38 PM
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I don't think you sound ungrateful, or b*****. I think don't think having a second shower is out of line, especially since it will be a girl and your others are boys. I'll be having one, mainly because I have a very close best friend who will throw it. I didn't really have a say You don't have that, which I understand. I have one best friend, and a few other friends, but not a big circle by any means.

Anyhow, my point being...around here, it is not at all uncommon to throw a diaper party. It is actually common for the Dad to be the host. You invite over all your couple friends and they bring diapers or whatever. It is thrown along the lines of being a bash to celebrate baby and your last hurrah as the family you are right now.

My two cents
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  #16  
January 12th, 2012, 03:59 PM
Jennmarie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(PS..sorry I didn't edit that particular word out..it didn't catch my mental filter! )
Thanks for the advice, ladies I'm gonna talk it out with DH and see what he says/thinks.
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  #17  
January 12th, 2012, 04:56 PM
dream2bemommy22's Avatar and baby makes 5
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Well if you can host it cheaply, then i say go for it. Especially if you have gone to things for these women.

I would LOVE a baby shower for Olivia, but i just know it isnt going to happen, since i moved 1200 miles away from family and friends. It makes me sad, i was sad that i didnt get one with Charlie either ( even though i totally did NOT need one) but still, it stung that noone threw me even a small one.

I say celebrate away!
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