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I needed to get some perspective from mothers who are going through it. My 2 year old is generally pretty good but as with all kids she can be defiant. I try to be consistant & use the "Super Nanny's " advice on bringing them back & forth to time out or bed. The problem is I feel like i'm hurting her when I do so. Jo says, that your the adult & we are stronger so we force them back to the naughty corner or bed because we are in charge. However, it's not that easy because she'll hang or thrust about and with my being pregnant it's hard enough to carry that weight but I feel like I'm hurting her arms when I hold them firmly.
Anyone else deal with that? I do NOT want to abuse my kid in anyway so how do I take control without hurting her when she's hanging or pulling away?
No good advice for you. We have been putting Jackson in time out when he's bad but he will just go to the time out corner, he does't hold on or pull away. Maybe if she won't voluntarily go to time out or if she fights you, take away one of her favorite toys for awhile and see if that will give her the incentive to go to the time out corner.
Sorry you guys are having trouble.
Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
my daughter is now 5 and we followed jo's advice down to the t. you have got to be persistant for it to work, but it really doesnt take long. so long as you aren't using super woman strength, you're not going to hurt her arm. she'll cry, because she knows you mean business, not because it hurt. more like hurt her feelings she doesnt get to be the boss. my daughter hates the naughty room. so after 1 warning, she'll straighten her act up fast. we started at 2 and it was rough for a week or so, so i feel for you, especially being pregnant. but you'll be so glad once she gets its and starts to listen. hang in there mama!
One thing that worked for us a few times was to give a choice. He can either walk to timeout (or the car if say he didn't want to leave someplace fun) or I can carry him there. He would still be ticked, but always chose to walk there. So if you drag her and she gets crazy pick her up. If she gets crazier put her down, go down on her level, and tell her that in no uncertain terms she is not to thrash and kick when you pick her up, ever, and that she has a choice to walk there like a big girl or be carried. She will still be pretty ticked, but hopefully won't resist as much as you drag her, I mean walk her to timeout We only had to do this with our son a couple of times. I can count the number of times he has thrown a tantrum in his entire life on one hand. But that's his personality, and perhaps I did something right in the way of prevention. Who knows! lol He is 2.5 now. Good luck!
I have an extremely stubborn child. Timeouts just weren't cutting it. She didn't care if she was in a timeout. I found that taking favorite toys away were the best way to handle something. Also I read 1,2,3 magic and it helped too. We give her to three to make the right choice or there is a consequence - taking something away! This seems to be the best option for her.
I think the biggest thing is making sure you follow through with the consequence - whatever it is.
I agree...pick how YOU want to handle it, and stick to it. I like supernanny as well; and we use some concepts from it; and just have kind of a mixture of techniques that work for us. I highly doubt you are actually hurting her; unless *you* are the one doing the yanking/thrashing etc. As long as she is doing it, she isn't going to do it hard enough to hurt herself. I think for us, we'd start with a count to 3 as a warning. If the behavior doesn't correct, then to timeout. If he comes out of timeout, I'd probably count to 3, and tell him/her that if you don't go back to timeout, then you will lose X for Y amount of time. Then if it continues; keep going back to timeout; and keep taking things away as needed. But the really hard thing with taking things away is actually keeping them away once the kiddos are behaving angelically again.
Honestly, with both our boys; count to 3 and the threat of time out or losing the toy they are playing with works 90% of the time. With major rule breaks-physical hitting, running away from mommy/daddy; basically safety issues-they get one verbal "stop" or "no" type warning, and go immediately to a spanking. I know that's a taboo subject, and we avoid it as much as possible; but with their language/learning deficits, we have to have an instant consequence for those. ((And again; its not something we have to actually use very often; the threat of a spanking or getting a hickory is 98% of the time all they need.))
We count to 3 (or 5 sometimes) and/or do timeouts. Lily was wonderful as a 2 year old - but then she hit the "Trying Threes" Violet is super tantrum prone and is just shy of 2. So, I have two of them wreaking havoc right now.
Lily has gotten way better about things and she'll usually stop right away when told to stop. She gets an automatic time out for hitting Violet, throwing toys, etc. I do give her the choice to walk there or be carried. Usually, she'll walk there. She has kicked me in the stomach a few times this pregnancy - so, I always hope that she'll walk there.
Vi is small enough that I just dump her into time out if she won't go
Kendall weight 40 lbs already. She's not overweight because she is well proportioned but she feels like a ton of bricks. It's literally like trying to discipline a 4 year old with a 2 year old menatlity.
I agree with the "mixed bag" approach. I haven't done a whole lot of discipline, Kate's only 21 months and just now starting to test boundaries and rules, but in general my parenting is pretty flexible. Right now I've had to put her in some semi-time-outs when we're out and she's not listening, and I hold her firmly on my lap. She doesn't like it and cries as if I'm hurting her, but I just stay calm and hold her as firmly as I need to to keep her on my lap. Then I wait for her to calm down. Consistency is definitely key. (But, if something clearly isn't working then I feel free to try a new method!)
wanna hear something funny? Caroline is 13 months, and is already starting to test limits!! If she figures out we don't want her to do something, she will repeatedly try to do that over and over again, just to see what we will do! And she gets soooooo mad when we don't let her! Example, knocking off the pretty plates on the wall above her changing table. And today, throwng things out of the shopping cart! Haha dh thinks she's an angel, so everything is a ok, but I'm sooo scared for when she gest older! Lmao! This evening, dh was on the phone and he asked wyatt to be quiet cuz it was an automated call. What does caroline do?? She imediatly started screaming dadadaaaaaaa as loud as she could! Haha! She's trouble! And waaay too smart for her age.