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How do you plan on handling visitors?


Forum: May 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
February 29th, 2012, 04:21 PM
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Do you plan on letting a lot of people visit while you are at the hospital? Or do you plan on waiting until you are home? Will you have them right away or wait a bit?

Personally, I don't like any visitors while I'm in the hospital, esp after a surgery. For me, hospitals are for resting and recovering and I don't want to be bothered while I'm R&R. I don't have any family here, so they aren't too much of a problem. My dh's family is here, but we aren't close to them. I'm going to limit hospital visits for dh's parents to one visit while I'm in the hospital (they'll see the baby plenty when I'm out). I'm only allowing grandparents to visit in the hospital & no visits the day I get home. They can come the day after.

What's your plan?
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  #2  
February 29th, 2012, 04:30 PM
LindseyB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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With karmen, I delivered right after midnight and I made the waiting room full of people go home. I wanted that first hour with DH and karmen, breastfeeding, skin to skin, etc and did NOT want visitors. Then we relaxed a bit until they took her for her bath and stuff and I cleaned up.

My mom and aunt and his parents showed up around 10 a.m or so. That was fine. At that point, we were getting bored sitting in the room. I love to go go go so I hated spending 5 days in the hospital and not being able to leave. I think I walked to the cafeteria once but that was it. I'm not a big tv watcher so that was out.

This time, I don't want anyone waiting while I'm laboring. When we call them, then they can come depending on what time of day I deliver. If its a night thing again, I would rather them come the next morning when baby and I are cleaned up and bathed. If its during the day they can come then.
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  #3  
February 29th, 2012, 05:00 PM
muffin300's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I definitely would like the first little while as our own little family. but then later I don't mind if people come. I really don't have much choice DH and his family seem to think that visiting is what being in the hospital is all about.
and when we go home I don't mind if they come by as long as they call first. and don't plan on sticking around for hours waiting for me to entertain/feed them. In fact last time I thought I would have waay more of a problem with it. but I ended up loving showing him off. and got antsy waiting for people to show up so I could introduce him to more people..as long as they are not germy pushy overbearing people...
I wonder if I will be the same this time or if having two kids will make a difference? like if I see DS getting jealous??
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  #4  
February 29th, 2012, 06:24 PM
Lisa H's Avatar Super Mommy
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I've asked my MIL to not come to the hospital but we have invited her to come stay with us for a few days once we are home. She is ok with this since she lives an hour away and knows that she'll only be able to visit for a few minutes anyway.

My parents live 5 minutes from the hospital so they will visit but again, only for a few minutes and not until after we have cleaned up.

All other visitors will be turned away at the hospital but totally welcome once we are home. We're also planning a small "birthday party"/meet the baby party for June.
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  #5  
February 29th, 2012, 06:28 PM
*Jillian*'s Avatar Baby #3 on the way
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I don't mind visitors. I'll have my close girlfriends and my sister and cousin and aunt (who is like my mother now that I don't have one) here. Also my dad will probably be there when I deliver (I hope) and my DH's parents (they could stay home for all I care).

Visitors don't bother me because nobody tends to stay long and hover. They usually just pop in and see me and the baby. I enjoy having my girls to talk to because being in the hospital makes me so restless.

Just wash hands
Don't come while I'm sleeping (call first)
don't bring all your kids.
If I'm nursing be prepared to see some boobies. lol
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  #6  
February 29th, 2012, 06:31 PM
bookworm16_2000's Avatar Mom to Allison and JR
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The only family we have close is my dad, who is taking care of DD while I'm in the hospital. Some of DH's co-workers may come and visit while I'm still in the hospital and I don't really mind. They don't stay long and only want to see the baby for a second! My MOMS club friends will all come and visit when I'm at home (and take DD for a playdate). They understand not being up for visitors- they're all mommies!
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  #7  
February 29th, 2012, 06:34 PM
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I don't plan to stay at the hospital for very long - mine requires 12 hours (provided part of that is overnight) from birth for a vaginal birth.

Most likely, it'll be DH and my best friend in the delivery room. After that, I'm sure my SIL will show up with her husband (she wants to attend the birth, but after her taking photos of Lily coming out of my vag and sending them to fam, I'm not sure I want her there ). My parents will come and bring Lily and Violet as well. Everyone else can wait until we get home.
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  #8  
February 29th, 2012, 06:37 PM
*Jillian*'s Avatar Baby #3 on the way
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twhylite21 View Post
I don't plan to stay at the hospital for very long - mine requires 12 hours (provided part of that is overnight) from birth for a vaginal birth.

Most likely, it'll be DH and my best friend in the delivery room. After that, I'm sure my SIL will show up with her husband (she wants to attend the birth, but after her taking photos of Lily coming out of my vag and sending them to fam, I'm not sure I want her there ). My parents will come and bring Lily and Violet as well. Everyone else can wait until we get home.
I laughed again thinking about your SIL! Make sure she leaves her camera at home
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  #9  
February 29th, 2012, 08:46 PM
Raven_Haired_Mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My boys want to skip school and be there. So my MIL will most likely be with them waiting during my c-section. I want them to see the baby as soon as possible to feel part of things. I have no clue who will visit or when this time. I'm mostly concerned with getting home asap to my boys.

When my oldest was born his bio dad didn't want visitors. I was unlisted. So my dad's side of the family showed up and he wouldn't let them visit or let the nurses tell them which room I was in. I chose that during labor because I knew people would show and I didn't want anyone there but my mom. But afterwards I didn't mind. It caused a huge drama with my grandmother. She was even asking me if I even wanted to be part of the family. UGH it was a mess. The A-hole abandoned us four days later anyway. So what did he care.

With my 7 year old I had a c-section and my mom and DH were in the room. I think my MIL was there waiting and my pregnant SIL showed up while in recovery. I didn't really mind. I had a few visitors during my stay but nobody stayed too long.
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  #10  
February 29th, 2012, 08:59 PM
.:fearless:.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Someone I always end up with a freaking party in the delivery room.

This time, things will be different. I am not at our local hospital, I am an hour away There was a reasoning for that! HAHA, I am kidding. I will be sad if I don't get ANY visitors.
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  #11  
February 29th, 2012, 10:48 PM
ArmyWife06's Avatar Proud Army Wife
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Ours is pretty strict. Since dh has very little time with her and he won't see her again until she is 7 months, no one is going to see her. The only people allowed to visit is my mom, sister and best friend. Only dh will be there when i give birth. I told my mom no one is allowed to come, she said she can't stop anyone from coming by. So i will probably have to tell the nurses not to let anyone in because my mom will cave. And after the hospital no one will see her until my husband leaves. He is having a very hard time with not being able to be here long and he hasn't spent much time with my distant family members so i dont want to overwhelm him.
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  #12  
March 1st, 2012, 05:00 AM
disneydiva76's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Last time I had my daughter, sister and MIL in the delivery room. After that I had to beg my dad and brother to come see her.......no one else from either side cared enough to visit.


This time m only having my sister in delivery to video tape. Then I want alone time with my girls/hubby and new baby.
After that I'm sure my MIL will be there waiting.

I doubt anyone else will care. It kinda sucks to be on the other side of this and get no or little to no visitors. It's upsetting. So hopefully I get some this time.
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  #13  
March 1st, 2012, 06:50 AM
Jennmarie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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In delivery I'm def planning on having dh and my mom; and maybe my sister, if she wants to. Once I'm in recovery and feeling well; I love having visitors. I don't mind either popping things out to feed or asking them to leave; my family knows me well enough to know I don't mean any ill-will. Both my and DHs family's are pretty good though-my parents love to feed us, and bring me anything I need; and my mom is amazing at just getting things she thinks I'd need that I didn't ask for and being spot on. The only person I'm not highly interested in having visit is one of my SILs..but I'm not really worried about her showing up. I agree with the please call first policy though. But typically, I don't nap very often; so it works out ok.
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  #14  
March 1st, 2012, 06:57 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't mind visitors but for the first few hours after he is born, I just want me and DH. My MIL is keeping Jackson so I will want her to bring him by. After that visitors can come, I just usually prefer them to leave the room when we are breastfeeding so they may have to step out if baby gets hungry.
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  #15  
March 1st, 2012, 07:04 AM
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I was a little strict about limiting visitors with DD and I regretted it. It got very boring for me. I recovered pretty well from my c section. My mother drives me absolutely insane so having her in the room while I was in labor was a BIG mistake. I asked them to leave for a bit so Ry and I could rest & they flat out refused. i was actually slight relieved to have had a C Section so I could get away from her. Aweful, I know. I love her dearly but she's a basket case.

This time, I welcome anyone who wants to swing by but no extended family until day 2 or 3.
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  #16  
March 1st, 2012, 07:11 AM
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^^^i love my mom too, but she is part of the reason why i listed as private last time (and this one). she tries to run the show. she's always trying to have some strangers there for my csections. these are ppl neither of us (her or me) really know. last time, it was my father's cousin that my mom didn't even want to visit when they came here. she said i owed it to her b/c she couldn't have kids. This time she's trying to have the preacher and ppl from the church i JUST started going to there, saying they should come b/c they are my bor & sis in christ. umm, no lol. she's weird lol.
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  #17  
March 1st, 2012, 07:13 AM
mamaleddie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Party in my room, teehee! I always love it when everyone rushes in to see the baby! When we were in Seattle, I was still delivering the placenta when a rush of people came in ! I didn't care though, everyone's focus was on the baby. We are surrounded with Aaron's family here in Missouri, and they are much more conservative than my family..His mom will be in the room with us, and the other grandparents will be in the waiting room with the girls..Since I'm 99% sure I will be induced, I will send them to school that day, and when I'm dilated to like 8 or 9 Papa will go get them, we just live like a mile from the hospital. Usually if they get to see baby right away you have a pretty peaceful rest of the hospital stay..I'm sure we'll have some people trickle in after the first day, but that will be nice. I'm not shy about nursing so they can leave if they are uncomfortable..
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  #18  
March 1st, 2012, 07:31 AM
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We will welcome anyone who wants to visit but not until well after he is born. DH and I want a few hours alone with Cole, then we will have my mom bring Chase for a bit. After that, as long as I feel up to it, visitors are welcome We will definitely have both of our families visit as most of them live within 20 minutes of the hospital. I have 2-3 girlfriends who will stop by and a few of DH's friends and their wives probably will too. We will be busy, but that's good because I get bored! I am definitely telling everyone to text or call first though just in case we are resting.
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  #19  
March 1st, 2012, 09:57 AM
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DH will be the only one in the delivery room with me aside from hospital staff. Depending on the time my DH will go back to our place and get my MIL and boys then come back up to the hospital. Other than that the only others that will probably come up is my BIL and his ex-wife. I am unsure if I want my nieces up there or not. They are 8 and 5.5. My hospital has a strict only sibling policy, so unless my BIL lies they won't be allowed up anyway. Those are also the only people likely to be at my house in the early days.
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  #20  
March 1st, 2012, 10:08 AM
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I adore it when people come visit me in the hospital, because it means they really care. The hospital is definitely NOT a restful place for me anyway, what with being in pain, bleeding all over, and having a nurse come jab me or take my blood pressure every 20 minutes.

Also, my hospital is 45 minutes away from where I live, so it's all the more touching that someone would take the time out to come visit. That said, this is the billionth grandchild on both sides, so it's not like any family is falling all over themselves to come visit (and anyway, the families both live far far away).

*ETA: I'm referring to AFTER the baby comes. It never occurred to me that anyone would want to visit WHILE a person was in labor. Weird.
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