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Mommy guilt?


Forum: May 2012 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By muffin300
  • 2 Post By *Jillian*
  • 1 Post By *MJ*
  • 6 Post By StephL

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  #1  
March 5th, 2012, 12:34 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,154
Is anyone else lacking so much energy they are having a hard time interacting with their other LO's?

Do you feel guilty?


Im suffering big time guilt because I can barely keep up with my 2 year old. DH works A LOT so I am the primary caregiver when i'm not working full time. I'm finding it increasingly harder to do things with her. I feel like im just shlubbing around making sure she doesn't get hurt but I can't play much with her.

Any suggestions from any Super Mommies who are able to keep up at this stage in the game woul dbe appreciated.
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  #2  
March 5th, 2012, 12:42 PM
muffin300's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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well..I don't have any advice. but I do have an energetic 2 year old lol. so I will be waiting for responses.
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  #3  
March 5th, 2012, 12:45 PM
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yes, i'm like that right now. i think it might be a combo of 3rd trimester and doing too much. we have like 3 appts every wk, house, cleaning, & tons of errands. by the time i'm done with all of that, i can't keep up with my 20mth old. my only solution is to cut some things out until after the baby. i think i'm going to cut out two of our appts and hire a cleaning service for now.

right now, i feel like i can't even move i'm so tired. it doesn't help that ds is cutting back on the naps.
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  #4  
March 5th, 2012, 12:49 PM
*Jillian*'s Avatar Baby #3 on the way
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I'm was feeling REALLY bad when I was on light duty and couldn't get out and do the activity he really needed. I get it. It's normal.

How's the weather where you are? Can you let her go out while you sit and lounge in the sun? Sandbox? Even letting her dig in the dirt. Finger paint outside and then put her straight in the bath.


I bet she isn't as bored as you think. Sometimes i just put in a movie and snuggle and you'd think I did something big in DS's eyes.
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  #5  
March 5th, 2012, 12:49 PM
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All I want is for DH to stick around with me during the times we are home from work so we can be a team but he works round the clock sometimes.

I did take Kendall to soccer this weekend, I think Lord knows i'm trying. I feel like if I'm not a super attentitve mother every waking moment i'm with her (because I can't be with her all week while i'm working), that im failing. Tell me that's not true.
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  #6  
March 5th, 2012, 01:02 PM
*Jillian*'s Avatar Baby #3 on the way
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It's so not true. Seriously, children adapt better than we give them credit for and they really just like to be around you.

It's proven that extra curricular stuff isn't nearly as important to children as time with their parents. They don't expect much...WE do.

You're doing just fine. Don't beat yourself up!

And it's good she is learning some independence from you. You won't be able to be as attentive when new baby comes and she needs to know how to entertain herself some.
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  #7  
March 5th, 2012, 01:05 PM
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I think these are normal feelings. My 2 year old had a mini meltdown at bedtime last night, and I bawled for 20 minutes thinking I was a horrible mother. His meltdown lasted only 6 seconds! I think it's the hormones and just our bodies getting ready to anticipate the needs of a newborn. We are more sensitive to the needs of our current kids too. I am sure you are much more engaged and attentive then you feel you are being. And think of it this way, you won't be able to give all your attention 24/7 to your LO once the newborn is here so it's better they get a bit used to that now rather then it happening suddenly when the baby arrives and it causing major jealousy issues. Maybe it's mother nature's way of prepping our LOs! lol. Sounds good to me
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  #8  
March 5th, 2012, 01:22 PM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so guilty of this with my 4yr old. We even put a DVD player on the TV in the other room so I can send her in there to watch Movies most of the day. I just cant do it. I figure its just for a couple months cause when baby gets here she will be busy helping get things for baby
I have a cold so today is really bad. I have not keft the couch much today other than to feed her and let the dog out to potty.
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  #9  
March 5th, 2012, 01:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Jillian* View Post
I'm was feeling REALLY bad when I was on light duty and couldn't get out and do the activity he really needed. I get it. It's normal.

How's the weather where you are? Can you let her go out while you sit and lounge in the sun? Sandbox? Even letting her dig in the dirt. Finger paint outside and then put her straight in the bath.


I bet she isn't as bored as you think. Sometimes i just put in a movie and snuggle and you'd think I did something big in DS's eyes.
Just saw this!

No, unfortunately I live in Mass & we just had a big snowstorm . I will still take her out to play if it's dry out (even in the early 40s). LUCKILY this week it may reach 65! I'm taking the day off of work to do somehting with her.
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  #10  
March 5th, 2012, 01:30 PM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I feel terribly guilty because I don't have the energy to do much. thankfully lately he has been all about reading and coloring which are 2 activities that I can sit on the couch and do with him. DH does most of the rough housing and other activities that he wants to do. Seems to be working okay with us. The problem I have been having lately is with potty training. I just don't have the energy to stay on top of it and I have been trying so hard.
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  #11  
March 5th, 2012, 01:36 PM
Jennmarie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I get the mommy guilt too..I actually had a huge emotional meltdown Saturday night because I've been in so much pain at night that I end up going to bed as soon as DH gets home. I feel like I'm being an awful wife/mommy. But the other ladies are right; they (the kiddos) need a LOT less than we think they do...the fact that you are there and interested in what she is doing is more than enough for her; and that is more important than the actual activity. I'd just say when you DO feel good and energized, don't spend it all catching up on housework, etc; jump in and play with her actively too.
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  #12  
March 5th, 2012, 05:04 PM
StephL's Avatar Veteran
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Honestly, there should be more threads like these, so we can all see that THIS is normal (and not the super mom who has energy to spend the entire day being hands-on with her child(ren), working, coming up with amazing healthy meals, etc.). I don't know where we get these images from, but they are messing with our self-esteem and our ability to feel as though we are functioning normally.
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  #13  
March 5th, 2012, 05:39 PM
imdawn's Avatar Super Mommy
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I'm right there with you. I have felt this way the entire pregnancy. I feel like I've been a sub-par Mom since the all-day sickness kicked in at 6 weeks. I let my kid watch way too much Nick Jr, encourage way too much inactive play (let's do a puzzle!, want to read a book?), feed him too many corn dogs, and don't play outside enough on nice days.
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  #14  
March 5th, 2012, 05:52 PM
dream2bemommy22's Avatar and baby makes 5
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I dont have the guilt, but this is my 3rd time around the block. Usually i just let the kids play around me, bring toys to me, ect. We go outside, i grab a lawn chair and let them have at all their toys.

They are 4 and 2, they have lots of toys, they can figure it out. They dont need me to hold their hand with everything they touch. Ill help out with puzzles, board games, ect. But im not nearly as involved as i would be if i wasnt pregnant.

We do take walks and go to the park and they have a gym class, DD is in preschool. So i know they arent deprived of activities to do.

But really we are only pregnant for such a short amount of time, dont worry that she isnt getting your full 100%, you can make it up to her when you have more energy after the baby is born.
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  #15  
March 5th, 2012, 06:10 PM
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You're doing fine! I'm like Shannon, I don't really have the guilt this time. I did when pregnant with Vi though. Lily did not watch TV or anything, I was super involved in everything, but suddenly I was like "hey, watch this show", etc to her and I just had no energy.

This time around, I'm okay with not being quite as active. Plus, the girls play really well together and they can entertain each other for hours. Both have outside activities (like music, swim, dance, etc) and I take them to those and playdates still.
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  #16  
March 5th, 2012, 08:08 PM
Miracle's Avatar ♥ Melissa ♥
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I think it's easier not to have the guilt when you have more than one kid, because you know that they have their sibling to play and hang out with. When I was pregnant with my second, I remember laying on the floor half the day with my daughter, coloring and reading books to her.. and just trying to be somewhat active but most of the time just watching her play.. I was huge and miserable, lol.
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