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A rant...the stress is killing me


Forum: May 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
March 7th, 2012, 11:30 AM
BeccaMenk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Cincinnati,OH
Posts: 1,288
I have to find a way to handle the stress we are feeling right now finacially. When I quit my part time job it was with a plan and a budget..but that has pretty much gone out the window. We recently got hit with a $1000 doctor bill...basically my doctor requires us to pay our deductible AND copays up front...if we overpay they will give us back what is not used after the baby is born. On one hand I guess its nice to know we wont have to worry about it after he is born..on the other they just laid it on us and told us we have a month and half to come up with the money!

On top of that we have termites...they just started to appear on the family room floor oneday ( the winged kind) and now we have to foot another almost $1000 to have the house treated....it just seems like all the sudden we are being bombarded with MORE bills and payment plans that we CANNOT afford.

I am trying to come up with things I can do at home to make money, but honestly I dont feel confident in my abilities to make someting work. I am not the "Avon" or "Pampered Chef" type and have no real skills for a stay at home job.

The thought of going back to work afer the baby is born absolutely kills me...I tihnk once he is no longer breastfeeding I wouldnt mind so much, but the idea of leaving him for grandma to take care of or whatever just KILLS me. It really goes against everything I feel inside is right for our family.

I am a HUGE couponer and I do my best to save money any way I can, but its so hard! We can never do anything fun without feeling guilty for spending money and I need things like Maternity clothes ( my belly is starting to pop out of all my current shirts) and I just keep putting it off to make do. Its just so hard...

I do believe things will work out..but the stress of it is causing me issues...my belly keeps hurting and I am getting some painful contractions now and then...it cant be good for the baby. I tell myself I need to relax and quit worrying but as I write a termite is crawling on the floor!

I don't really expect any advice to solve my problem..that is something we are just going to have to work out..but any tips to controling my stress would be great! I don't want to cause my baby any harm by worrying...
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  #2  
March 7th, 2012, 11:45 AM
Jennmarie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 5,376
I understand money worries ALL too well. That is always a "when it rains it pours" situation. My thoughts after reading are that I know my doctor's office has a general "pay as you go" attitude. As long as I pay something regularly, they don't necessarily care how much. (They have deadlines; but are flexible). And I wondered..have you looked into something like medical transcription? That is something I am considering, as my job is getting less and less "worth it" to me; even though I am fine with my MIL taking care of my babies (they get to stay at home, and she is really good with them.)
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  #3  
March 7th, 2012, 01:26 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Bay Area CA
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I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this stress! I've always heard that most doctors will work out a payment plan, so you can do installments. Maybe that could be an option for a bit?
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  #4  
March 7th, 2012, 02:16 PM
ElizabethS's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 11,986
Sorry you are dealing with all this. We too are under considerable financial stress. I am the only one working. Being put on bedrest this early really hurts...we make it on 100% of my income but within 4 weeks I'm going to not be paid for 2 weeks (well 8 days), and then I'm at 60% of my pay. Luckilly we got a good tax return this year and are using that to help us float.

This is going to be baby #6 for us financially (3 live with us, and so will this baby of course). We coupon, we budget, we've taken Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University which gave us some good tips (and other things we just threw out...investments? I don't have any money for investments right now lol or retirement!). EVERY DOLLAR that comes in is spoken for before it ever hits my bank account.

We are also selling a lot of stuff on craigslist because we just have too much darn stuff, especially having inherited two estates literally within a few months of each other. So we are selling furniture and stuff we don't want/need. That helps with extra income AND frees up some space.

We also accept nice hand me downs (as far as clothes) for the kids, and we make sure that if we don't have the cash to cover something, it doesn't get done. I have no cc's and don't ever plan on it. We live off what we can budget. It's tough, but we make it work, and we only have one income while DH stays home and watches the kids and finishes his degree online.
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  #5  
March 7th, 2012, 02:37 PM
imdawn's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Southwest Missouri
Posts: 669
Money is so stressful!!! The only thing I can say is do what you can, and have faith that the rest will work itself out. There is only so much you can control. Another thing I do is think of the absolute worst case scenario...9 times out of 10, even the very worst isn't that bad. It helps relieve some stress for me. For example, your doctor bill -- someone will deliver your baby, whether you have "paid for him" or not.

Other than that, I can just say, I'm right there with you! Sometimes just knowing you aren't alone can help
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  #6  
March 7th, 2012, 04:36 PM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,299
so sorry that you are having money problems. I think it is a good idea to see what sort of payment plan your dr has. Mine let's me pay a portion of the deductible every month until I get it paid. I think most will work with you.

Just try not to stress, I know easier said than done. focus on what keeps baby healthy.
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  #7  
March 7th, 2012, 05:12 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,154
I can't imagine how i'd feel if I stopped working. The stress would kill me, even though DH is very successful, we own or own buisness and I just hate not having that extra consistant paycheck.

What about waitressing a couple nights a week? Or banquet waitressing on weekends. I LOVED waitressing. If I didn't need the insurance, I would totally do it.
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  #8  
March 7th, 2012, 05:28 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Southern California
Posts: 6,296
Big HUGS. It is so hard to be in a stressful situation while pregnant, and then you stress more about how your stress is harming your baby...it's no fun. What helps you with stress when you aren't pregnant? Exercise, baths, reading, etc.. Can you do any of that now? Maybe having a day with one of your best friends or close female relatives will help take your mind off things.
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  #9  
March 7th, 2012, 06:08 PM
rmarie9509's Avatar Liam's Mommy
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Location: New York State
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Im sorry I know how it feels to be tight with money and never do anything fun. I have bought very few maternity clothes, and nothing really for liam other than his nursery stuff. And it does always seem like when you are already tight, things get worse.
One thing is to check on supplemental insurance, and payment plans with your doctor or hospital. Our hospital has an income based program that closes the gap between insurance and co-payments and stuff. Other than that, just hang in there and remember this too shall pass. I don't know how you feel about religion and spirituality but one thing that always helps calm me is to pray, just to be quiet and express my inner feelings really helps and of course I believe that there really is a help and a support listening and carrying me through tough times. If you arent comfortable with prayer, I think meditation and journaling are also very good ways to relax providing the quiet atmosphere and getting things out of your head, and the best part of journaling is when things get better as they will eventually, you can look back and be amazed at how far you've come.
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  #10  
March 8th, 2012, 11:36 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 7,698
HUGS to you!
Try not to worry about the bills. Most places will work with you, just ask.
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