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Baby shower blues....


Forum: May 2012 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By disneydiva76
  • 1 Post By disneydiva76

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  #1  
March 11th, 2012, 05:41 AM
disneydiva76's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Had our first baby shower yesterday and I'm so bummed. I thought we would have gotten alot more big stuff that we needed. But my worst fear came true and we got onesies alot. Stressing about how we will get everything we really need. I'm sure it will all come together. Anyone else stressed about not having everything for the baby?
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  #2  
March 11th, 2012, 07:03 AM
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Sorry to hear that. We are pretty much starting over and not having a baby shower. Luckily my brother and his wife had a little boy about a year ago, and they have been kind enough to give us everything they are no longer using. We bought a crib and are planning on buying the mattress and stroller in the next week or so.
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  #3  
March 11th, 2012, 07:07 AM
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Im sorry you didnt get everything you need, but from the sounds of it you are at least getting another shower. A lot of people dont agree with 2nd baby showers ( especially with kids so close), so maybe they feel you already have everything or should have everything ( even if it is pink) so they are buying you what they think you need.

While this baby is not planned and we had NOTHING for the baby, i know i wont be getting a baby shower when really we could have really used one. Ive had to completely start over with this pregnancy ( clothes, gear, ect)

Keep in mind you can always return onsies and get stuff you really want.

I only have a few things left to buy ( baby monitor, diaper bag and babyhawk carrier) ive pretty much gotten myself set otherwise. Ive had to do a lot of selling of things in my house to pay for some of the stuff ( i sold my old glider, a bookshelf, my DS's old cloth diapers)
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  #4  
March 11th, 2012, 07:11 AM
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I know with a lot of people if this is not your first baby they get upset if you are having baby showers for 2,3,4 etc. I have seen in different areas its accepted more than others.

I know if I had a baby shower and was asking for all the big stuff AGAIN from friends and family they would get upset with me.... and that also goes for when I have had friends have showers for second baby's I just never go.
I get upset when just a couple years ago I spent $100 on some item and then I see them asking for this item again on the registry because they sold everything from the first baby.

Don't get me wrong I would have loved to have a shower for this baby and get all new stuff But I am thankful that I was such a good saver. This poor boy is probably going to have a lot of pinks and purples in his life but Oh well I cant afford to buy all new bath towels, burp cloths & bibs just because they are not the right color.
So far my mom got him 4 outfits and the travel system & my MIL got a pack N play for me to use as a bassenett since the one from DD was borrowed. But other than that I am not expecting anyone else to get me anything. But I do have a registry made up just in case.


But im sorry you are bummed out that your shower did not go as you hoped
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  #5  
March 11th, 2012, 07:11 AM
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If you got a lot of things you don't really need could you return them and get store credit to put toward your bigger stuff? Depending on brand, I know Walmart will take pretty much anything back.
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  #6  
March 11th, 2012, 07:44 AM
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my moms hosting a shower with 80+ people, and she forgot to put my registry information and the fact we are cloth diapering in the invitation lol I had a momentary hormonal panic attack but I realized that we really can afford everything we need if we have to. I'm still a little worried about getting a ton of clothes and diapers, mostly because I feel like it would have been a waste of those people's money you know, but I've come around to just being happy with anything.
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  #7  
March 11th, 2012, 08:38 AM
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My family isn't against having showers for other than first time babies. All of the cousins and sister in laws get them regardless of baby's number.
I think everyone assumed we had what we needed. We didnt just sell everything and ask for everything new. We had pink sheets, pink bedding, pink burp cloths ect. My hubby isn't about to let his son go around town in pink stuff. That just wouldn't fly.

But we needed certain large things as well ex: double stroller, swing, bedding stuff ect.

Yes I am having another shower but it's being given by my mother and sister. My side of the family well let's put it this way, the only thing you can depend on with them, is being completely undependable. Last baby 2 people showed. My family never does family things, never plays the grand parent role, doesn't ever baby sit, attend weddings .... Anything. So it's more of mom "acting" like sHe cares for her 5 min of fame.

My dad was invited to this last shower and well he ignored me all week asking if he was going until I got a nasty text from his Gf saying he was going fishing instead. My family sucks.

So I kind of thought hubby's family would have pulled through for us.

I might have to start looking through lilly's stuff and selling clothes.
Hopefully this will help.
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  #8  
March 11th, 2012, 08:50 AM
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This is our first baby, and right now it doesn't look like we'll be having any showers. We moved to Illinois a couple of years ago and know hardly anyone here. My family lives 9hrs east of here, and DH's family is out west. It's too impractical for me to make it to where our families live to go to a shower. Some of my college friends went in together and bought one big thing and a bunch of small things off our registry.

We're expecting that a few more gifts from friends and family will trickle in... but if they don't (or if everything is clothes and baby blankets) we have a plan.
1) Find deals on items we want to get new. We're planning to get a crib at Ikea and carseats on amazon.com
2) Bought items with gift cards we had laying around. We still had Bed, Bath, and Beyond cards and a Barnes and Noble card that we received as wedding gifts. BB&B sells baby stuff and I ordered bibs, nursing pads, and milk storage and I got a babybook from B&N
3) Craigslist for other items we want to have before the baby is born (already got a boppy pillow and a swing this way)
4) Garage sales for items that can wait until baby is here. I'll be looking for a jogging stroller, toy storage, clothes and toys.

If money were tighter, I think we'd be waiting to buy many of the things we want to have for the baby until after she's born. DH and I agree that all we REALLY need to have before she's born is a carseat and somewhere for her to sleep, a minimal amount of clothing and diapers.
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  #9  
March 11th, 2012, 09:23 AM
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I am sorry your bummed. This is my 4th, and even though my mom is throwing a shower I know not to expect a lot. We have purchased everything we need. We have 7 other kids to support as well. I have done it by shopping around for great deals. I got a coupon for $20 gc if I do a target baby registry and a $10 one for BRU. Do I need a registry, no, but I am using those cards to purchase the items I need/want. We also used taxes to purchase things and took advantage of the BRU trade in even when buying our travel system. I would try selling things you dont need/want to try and get some extra money in. I was in a spot with my last child (single with 2 other kids and lost my job) and I couldn't afford hardly anything. I didn't get a tax return that year either. It was rough, but everything came through. Also, think of what baby NEEDS to come home with and start with those things. That is what I have done. I have made sure I have the needs-car seat, sleeping place, few clothes, bottles (I remember you saying you bottle feed). That really is ALL a baby needs to come home, well and diapers. There are amazing coupons out there all the time for diapers and even some for bottles. Search around, if you want suggestions or help, I can help if you would like
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  #10  
March 11th, 2012, 09:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by .:fearless:. View Post
I am sorry your bummed. This is my 4th, and even though my mom is throwing a shower I know not to expect a lot. We have purchased everything we need. We have 7 other kids to support as well. I have done it by shopping around for great deals. I got a coupon for $20 gc if I do a target baby registry and a $10 one for BRU. Do I need a registry, no, but I am using those cards to purchase the items I need/want. We also used taxes to purchase things and took advantage of the BRU trade in even when buying our travel system. I would try selling things you dont need/want to try and get some extra money in. I was in a spot with my last child (single with 2 other kids and lost my job) and I couldn't afford hardly anything. I didn't get a tax return that year either. It was rough, but everything came through. Also, think of what baby NEEDS to come home with and start with those things. That is what I have done. I have made sure I have the needs-car seat, sleeping place, few clothes, bottles (I remember you saying you bottle feed). That really is ALL a baby needs to come home, well and diapers. There are amazing coupons out there all the time for diapers and even some for bottles. Search around, if you want suggestions or help, I can help if you would like
Very true! Good ideas! You bumm getting coupons lol no fair! I registered and didnt get any lol . I'm going to talk to hubby when he gets off work today and see if he will go looking @ some thrift stores with me. We need some kind of dresser first I think. Then I'll worry about the other stuff. One thing @ a time and I'm sure it will all work out.

Ty
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  #11  
March 11th, 2012, 10:20 AM
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I'm having a second shower for my second boy! It is the norm in my circles. I too need a lot of the big stuff because I borrowed a lot from my SIL and we don't get along anymore. So I completely understand where you are coming from. This is my point of view: It isn't that I'm ungrateful or feeling entitled, it is just that if I get a ton of clothes, I will look at each onesie, total up all those $10 purchases and think about what I *need* for that money. Then I feel bad that people spent money on stuff I may not even get to use.

But, in the end, like I said on FB, they don't really *need* much. We will make it And it sounds like you've already started to get over your disappointment
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  #12  
March 11th, 2012, 10:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imdawn View Post
I'm having a second shower for my second boy! It is the norm in my circles. I too need a lot of the big stuff because I borrowed a lot from my SIL and we don't get along anymore. So I completely understand where you are coming from. This is my point of view: It isn't that I'm ungrateful or feeling entitled, it is just that if I get a ton of clothes, I will look at each onesie, total up all those $10 purchases and think about what I *need* for that money. Then I feel bad that people spent money on stuff I may not even get to use.

But, in the end, like I said on FB, they don't really *need* much. We will make it And it sounds like you've already started to get over your disappointment
Exactly! Lol you hit it right on.
I think talking to you girls helped me alot. I'm sure some of my feelings are hormone based wanting everything to be "ready" for him too. But it helPs to see I'm not the only one and hear other people understand.
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  #13  
March 11th, 2012, 12:50 PM
speechteach42's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would have been frustrated too. I know you're grateful for anything you got, but if you're like me it's full on nesting mode and I hate not feeling ready and having the things I need. I second thrift stores and craigslist as ideas for some great nearly new baby gear. Hopefully you'll get everything you need soon.
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  #14  
March 11th, 2012, 03:09 PM
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I've never had a baby shower and this is my third! We had always just moved when I was pregnant and didn't know a lot of people.. or just no one offered to throw me one. We made it work. With my first, we were a lot younger and more poor.. I got a lot of stuff off of craigslist and used things for baby. Sometimes I felt bad that she didn't have a cute nursery with all the furniture and bedding, etc. that everyone else in my ddc did.. but we ended up co-sleeping anyways so it ended up not mattering. She might've not had the cutest clothes and items but she was definitely loved and taken care of ♥ I think sometimes we get wrapped up in needing so much for our babies (trust me- I've gotten bitten by that bug this time around, too, since we do have more money to spend) but, like others have said, as long as you have diapers, a car seat, and a way to feed the baby, you will be fine
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