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How long before you excuse yourself when baby cries in public?


Forum: May 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
June 15th, 2012, 10:01 AM
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My husband and I took Aubrey to an outdoor concert in a park yesterday. I knew that it was during a time when she usually cluster feeds, so I brought 2 bottles of pumped milk. We got our lawn chairs and picnic basket situated at the back of the crowd, and Aubrey started to cry. She literally let out one cry and DH grabbed the infant carrier and took her away from the crowd. I was trying to pull out a bottle of milk, but he was so fast at reacting that I didn't even have the diaper bag open yet and he was across the parking lot (without bringing a bottle or a pacifier). I was confused about what he was planning to do and sat with our stuff until he didn't come back in 10 minutes... by which time she was too worked up to take a bottle. Next time we'll discuss what our plans are for inevitable crying and I'll have the bottle in my hand before we sit down.

I was wondering what other people think about taking a moment to try to calm a baby before excusing yourself from a public gathering. I personally am not bothered by crying infants in outdoor spaces as long as the parents don't let them cry for more than a few minutes. DH reacted so fast (in less than 10 seconds) and it caught me off guard that he'd be so sensitive to offending other people that he'd take her away without even taking a second to grab the bottle and pacifier.

What do you do in similar situations?
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  #2  
June 15th, 2012, 10:47 AM
rmarie9509's Avatar Liam's Mommy
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well Im not much for worrying about offending other people. The way I see it a baby is a person too and just because you have one doesnt make you less of a person so even with a baby I think I have just as much right to be at something as anyone else and if the baby is fussing for a few minutes so be it. Now Im also a generally nice person so I wouldnt have my baby screaming for half the concert lol but I wouldnt leave without trying to settle the matter. Also I wouldnt mess around with a bottle I just breastfeed Liam wherever and whenever. I have a cover but I dnt even use it all that often.
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  #3  
June 15th, 2012, 11:03 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm agree with Becky, I don't really worry about offending other people. I am more concerned for my baby and want to figure out why he is crying and help him. I'm agreed on the breastfeeding in public. I will usually use a cover but the bottle can take some time and babies will get really worked up waiting, so I will usually just breastfeed Jacob.

I think a few minutes of crying is fine if you are concerned about offending others. I think your DH jumped the gun a bit. Once you got that bottle in baby's mouth, she would have been quiet.

Crying babies don't even bother me at all anymore. I usually don't even notice them, unless they are mine of course..lol.
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  #4  
June 15th, 2012, 11:58 AM
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I don't worry about it too much either, not when out in public. If I was somewhere that I had to be silent like a movie theater it would be different, but I don't attempt that, lol.

I will say however that I am more sensitive to things like that with our toddler. When Kate is being loud and touching things in a restaurant or doctors office I get very flustered and want her to be removed right away... whereas my DH says she's fine and he's occupying her (by playing with the blinds or whatever that IMO she shouldn't be touching!). We got into a fight over it last week because he thought she was fine in the hospital and I was just freaking out over how loud and disruptive she was being. (She wasn't throwing a fit or anything, just talking very excitedly and trying to run around.) It's stressful!!
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  #5  
June 15th, 2012, 12:30 PM
Raven_Haired_Mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I get complete anxiety when he starts to cry in public. People start looking and that makes it worse. But in that situation I would have tried to calm and feed him. If he kept up I'd leave but because of the anxiety. Hopefully I can get better with it
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  #6  
June 15th, 2012, 01:34 PM
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I don't usually get bothered by it. DH tends to get more anxious when the baby is crying in public, bu then he just hands Grant to me and I nurse him.
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  #7  
June 15th, 2012, 01:51 PM
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I get anxious but i shouldn't. I will breastfeed in public if i don't havr a bottle but i usually do. We are going to our favorite steakhouse tonight right around her fussy time so wish me luck lol
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  #8  
June 15th, 2012, 03:18 PM
bookworm16_2000's Avatar Mom to Allison and JR
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I have more worries about my 2 year old than the baby. If JR is fussing I can nurse him and he's quiet in seconds but Allison is loud for so many different reasons. I'm very good at nursing in public and have no problems doing it!
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  #9  
June 15th, 2012, 03:21 PM
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I'm glad that I'm not the only person who thinks my DH jumped the gun. We're new parents and this was our first time bringing Aubrey out anywhere with a crowd and we hadn't discussed a gameplan- so I was really surprised by DHs reaction when she started to cry. There's another free concert next week, so we plan to try again. I don't want DH to be so worried that the baby will cry that he's afraid to take her anywhere (obviously not to a quiet theater, but I want to go to places that are appropriate for families with small kids).
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  #10  
June 15th, 2012, 05:44 PM
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Meh, dont care about the people unless it is really loud and disruptive...whip the boob out and get baby happy is priority...
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  #11  
June 15th, 2012, 06:17 PM
CarolynBB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We're also pretty laid back about her crying.

The only time I've hastened to remove her was when my in-laws were visiting and we went to a quasi-fancy restaurant. I just walked around with her for a few minutes and she settled down again.
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  #12  
June 16th, 2012, 04:56 AM
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I dont worry to much when baby fusses...its Madison that gets me all flustered in public..lol
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  #13  
June 16th, 2012, 07:02 AM
rmarie9509's Avatar Liam's Mommy
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isn't it funny how in the public eye its ok for babies to cry and act like babies but small children are expected to act like adults.
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  #14  
June 16th, 2012, 09:38 AM
CarolynBB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rmarie9509 View Post
isn't it funny how in the public eye its ok for babies to cry and act like babies but small children are expected to act like adults.
I know I'd rather hear a baby cry than a shrieking/screeching toddler. I'm going to have to invest in earplugs once Kira gets older and the cries get more high-pitched.
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  #15  
June 17th, 2012, 06:11 AM
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If I can quickly calm the baby, I do (usually just nurse). If I can't and I'm in church or a concert or the like, I walk out. I get stressed at church because I'm playing the piano and DH has to try to calm Aiden which he isn't very good at yet. I could have Aiden calmed in a few seconds but I'm stuck at the piano. Oh well, it's my job.
I think your husband was a little too quick especially since it was an outdoor concert. But, yeah, discussing a game plan is a great idea.
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  #16  
June 17th, 2012, 09:23 AM
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Something like church or a movie, I would walk out. Everywhere else can kiss my butt
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  #17  
June 17th, 2012, 12:16 PM
Miracle's Avatar ♥ Melissa ♥
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Quote:
Originally Posted by .:fearless:. View Post
Something like church or a movie, I would walk out. Everywhere else can kiss my butt
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  #18  
June 17th, 2012, 01:07 PM
Mrs.Julie's Avatar Mommy to 3 Princesses
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At a concert I would take baby elsewhere, AFTER I tried to calm down first. 10 seconds is premature, I agree. But anywhere where others are trying to hear, like a movie, church, play, concert etc. it's common courtesy to be quiet.
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