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Wanted to give a last update - then I'm going to figure out how to delete this journal.
Had my follow up ultrasound this morning. Embryo was measuring the same as last time (6 weeks 3 days - and I'm 8 weeks 3 days) so no growth there obviously. But the heartbeat is just barely flickering away still. I actually could see it this time. It was only 45 - which is ridiculously low. Obviously there is no way this is a viable pregnancy but my RE can't do anything until there is NO heartbeat. He's not ethically allowed to prescribe the medication because technically the embryo is still alive. So... I just have to wait it out. He felt really bad. He said it was 'torture by ultrasound' and that he doesn't see this happen very often (that an embryo would not grow for 2 weeks but still have some sort of a heartbeat).
It's sort of agony at this point. He wanted to know if I wanted to come in for another ultrasound next week but I can't take anymore. Today I was all ready to say goodbye officially and move on, and alas, I need to wait some more. So I've scheduled an u/s for June 25th, so it either I'll get a definite answer then, or I will have miscarried naturally on my own.
I'm in a strange limbo place right now, but I think I'll re-join up with the TTC #1 ladies since that's where I feel most at home. Thanks everyone for your support and kind words. They were much appreciated!
I wish I could be there to hug you in person, Katie.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this at all, and the prolonged nature of it all must be so devastating. You might also check out the TTC After Loss board, which is (unfortunately) filled with women who've been through losses at all stages of pregnancy and are trying to conceive.
My loss was early and natural, so I can't really understand the pain you must be going through right now. Just know that I'm thinking of you and hoping for strength and peace.
I was hoping and praying that your little one would have grown and waited all day to see a post saying baby was alive and well!
Please do let us know how your ultrasound goes in a few weeks, will be thinking of and praying for you until than. And I think your Dr was right... torture by ultrasound, that is literally a living hell. HUGS!
Angel Baby #1 - 12/29/2003 (9 weeks, lost baby at 6-7 weeks)
Angel Baby #2 - 7/10/2012 (11 weeks 5 days, lost baby at 6 weeks 1 day)
I have nothing but the biggest hugs for you. I'm so sorry you are in this state of limbo right now, I can't even imagine. Take whatever time you need, and c'mon back to TTC1 whenever you are ready. We will all be there to welcome you back with open arms.