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Sean's Baby Steps


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  #381  
March 26th, 2013, 10:00 AM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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Just catching up on everyone, Robyn. I didn't intend a JM hiatus, but that's what happened. I'm so very sorry about your mother. Even though I know it's something that your family knew would happen, it doesn't make it any easier.

Glad you had a good trip with Sean. Sounds like you squeezed a lot into it!

DH always used to just pass Jackson off to me when he would start crying. Then they got to spend those three months together. He learned some tricks for getting him to calm down. Jack usually only gets fussy when he's tired, and DH has become a pro at putting him to sleep. Still, no one can comfort Jack the way Mommy can. I think that BF makes a big difference in that regard. It really is a special bond that just can't be replicated.
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  #382  
March 26th, 2013, 12:32 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks, Adrienne! I know it's a special bond, and I love that Sean and I have that, but it'd just be nice for DH to be able to put him to sleep or comfort him once in a while so it's not always me.

4 months 3 weeks 5 days old

The rest of our trip was great. Sean continued to be overstimulated, but we managed. We went to see some manatees and gators on Thursday. Friday I wanted to take Sean to the pool, but I decided he really needed a day that felt more like what we do at home. DH, BIL, and future SIL went to a Red Sox game and I stayed at MIL's house. She and SFIL were gone much of the day so Sean and I took a walk, he napped, we played in the house, and then after SFIL was done with his hyperbaric chamber treatment MIL took us to the outlets for shopping. We went to Carter's and OshKosh B'Gosh. We were pretty much set for Sean's 9 month wardrobe after that trip. We went out to dinner at a restaurant on the beach and ate with our feet in the sand. I loved that!

Saturday was our day to fly back home. I got a call from my dad that morning asking me what time we got in. He was calling because my mom had taken a turn for the worse and he wanted us to come over and say our goodbyes. We didn't get in until late on Saturday, so that's what we did on Sunday. It was a horrible day, but it was as nice of a goodbye as you can manage in that situation. Sean has been too busy to let my mom hold him the past few visits, but on Sunday he was such a good boy. She had to ask us to take him before he even got fussy. He was so happy and my mom adored holding him. I asked her to take care of Gabriel for me, and she said she would. We told her all about Sean's trip to Florida and how much he loved the pool and how we stuck his toes in the cold ocean and he even loved that. We told her about the teeth that are starting to poke through and let her feel them. We sat Sean on her and he held her hand for a while, too. It was so sweet. She kept saying how it was such a nice visit (or finish, we're not sure exactly what she said) and what a nice surprise it was for us to come. She started talking with such finality that we all figured she was just waiting for us to come back from FL and was deciding to stop fighting. My sister thanked Bert and me for having Sean since he lightened the mood and gave everyone something to be happy about.

My dad and I talked about Sean and me staying down there for the duration, but I felt that Sean needed a few days at home with our normal routine and it's so hard and stressful keeping him as quiet as he needs to be at my parents' right now. Plus, I honestly don't want to be there when my mom passes. I feel like we had a nice goodbye and my final memory of her is of her being so happy holding Sean and visiting with us, even though she wasn't awake for very long. My dad says to just make a decision that's best for us and make sure that I don't have any regrets. I don't think I'll regret this decision. Any part of me that feels like I should be there is pushed aside by the visit from Sunday and my instinct as a mom telling me it's best for my child to be home right now since we'll be spending a week at my parents' for the funeral and all that stuff.

Yesterday Sean and I went out for some retail therapy and some Red Robin. I got the rest of the 9 month clothes he'll need, even some 12 month bathing suits since I never think to get those for myself until they're all sold out and I didn't want that to happen with Sean. I made one of my favorite comfort foods for dinner.

Today we skipped his Gymboree bonus class since we needed a day at home. Tomorrow we start Music Together, which I'm really looking forward to, and going to Gymboree. Even if my mom passes today we'll wait to go down until tomorrow so we can have these two classes. Plus I still have to pack and it'll take a bit. I'm keeping Sean in sposies, though, so I'm not leaving dirty diapers or having to take the time to do a load of diapers since we know it's only a few days.

Sean is totally going to be off and I'm so glad I decided to wait to start solids until 6 months. After we come back from my parents' my friend is coming out from Michigan to stay with me and keep me company for a few days. She's bringing her daughter and that gives me something positive to look forward to. She was going to come out for the funeral but her mom suggested she ask me if I'd prefer company after and I like this idea since I'll get to spend more time with her and her baby. When all this is said and done we'll be around 6 months anyways.

Sean not only is rolling across the floor, but he's wiggling his way around, too. He can push himself up on his arms, but can't get his legs under him, although he's trying. I swear this boy is never happy with the status quo! He's always wanting to learn the next thing! I have to remember to now put him in his pack n play before leaving him in a room and also making sure not to leave him alone on the bed like I used to so he doesn't roll off!

I may not be around much for a while, but it's kind of quiet in here these days anyways. I'll be checking in, though.
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  #383  
March 26th, 2013, 01:23 PM
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  #384  
March 27th, 2013, 04:54 AM
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I'm glad that you had a wonderful trip to the beach. Take care of yourself and Sean.

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  #385  
March 27th, 2013, 05:40 AM
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  #386  
March 27th, 2013, 06:55 PM
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I am glad you all had had such a wonderful vacation!!!

I am so sorry about your mom. Don't forget we are all here for you.
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  #387  
March 28th, 2013, 12:23 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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Thinking of you.

Hope Music Together was a lot of fun.
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  #388  
March 30th, 2013, 05:23 AM
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Thinking of you this weekend. Hope everything goes as well as can be expected.
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  #389  
March 30th, 2013, 09:18 AM
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I'm so sorry about your mom. We are here if you need anything.

Glad you had a great trip. I've been following your pics on FB, it's easier to get on there than JM looks like you had a great time. Sean is such a happy boy how did the spring training games go as far as breast feeding? I want to take Ember to a game, but concerned about nursing. I guess I could pump right before the game and right after and just bring a bottle or two.
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  #390  
March 30th, 2013, 03:28 PM
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Thinking of you this weekend Robyn
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  #391  
March 31st, 2013, 12:21 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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5 months 1 day - Sean's First Easter!

Thanks, ladies. This weekend was the second attempt at saying goodbye to my mom. She had her Last Rites earlier this week and we think it scared her into fighting some more. She hadn't eaten in almost a week but now she'll eat a few spoonfuls of Jello and pudding here and there. Still not enough to sustain her and she was much worse this weekend than last. My dad said he's spoken to her and they've talked about how this is it and he's told her it's okay to go, but we think it's just too scary for her to process and really let go. I told her today that I can't even fathom how scary it must be for her right now, but that it's okay to let go and she thanked me. We'll see what happens and keep taking it day by day.

Yesterday was Sean's first trip to the zoo! He had a great time! Well, as great of a time as a 5 month old can. We took him to a smaller zoo near my parents'. It's mostly local wildlife and farm animals, but it was perfect for his first zoo experience. I want to take him to the Roger Williams Park Zoo and the Franklin Park Zoo (where the movie Zookeeper was filmed) at some point but those can wait. Sean seemed to be the most interested in the bears, elephants, and chickens. The pigs seemed to scare him. They were pretty noisy!

I forgot Sean's Easter basket at home, but the Easter Bunny found Sean at my parents' and left him a cute little stuffed bunny rabbit. Sean was so excited for his first Easter that he woke up at 5:30. That has NEVER happened before! We think it's because the room at my parents' house gets a lot of light in the morning since it's east-facing and the sunlight made him think it was later than it actually was. Needless to say, we're exhausted!

We went out to lunch at Applebee's with DH's grandmother, aunt, uncle, and cousin. Everyone loved Sean's bunny ears! Now we're back home, Sean has had his Easter basket, and DH is starting to work on remodeling the living room. Kinda noisy in here and Sean is not enjoying it during his mealtime! I cannot wait until our living room is finished.

I hope everyone is having a great Easter!
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  #392  
March 31st, 2013, 12:21 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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5 months 1 day - Sean's First Easter!

Thanks, ladies. This weekend was the second attempt at saying goodbye to my mom. She had her Last Rites earlier this week and we think it scared her into fighting some more. She hadn't eaten in almost a week but now she'll eat a few spoonfuls of Jello and pudding here and there. Still not enough to sustain her and she was much worse this weekend than last. My dad said he's spoken to her and they've talked about how this is it and he's told her it's okay to go, but we think it's just too scary for her to process and really let go. I told her today that I can't even fathom how scary it must be for her right now, but that it's okay to let go and she thanked me. We'll see what happens and keep taking it day by day.

Yesterday was Sean's first trip to the zoo! He had a great time! Well, as great of a time as a 5 month old can. We took him to a smaller zoo near my parents'. It's mostly local wildlife and farm animals, but it was perfect for his first zoo experience. I want to take him to the Roger Williams Park Zoo and the Franklin Park Zoo (where the movie Zookeeper was filmed) at some point but those can wait. Sean seemed to be the most interested in the bears, elephants, and chickens. The pigs seemed to scare him. They were pretty noisy!

I forgot Sean's Easter basket at home, but the Easter Bunny found Sean at my parents' and left him a cute little stuffed bunny rabbit. Sean was so excited for his first Easter that he woke up at 5:30. That has NEVER happened before! We think it's because the room at my parents' house gets a lot of light in the morning since it's east-facing and the sunlight made him think it was later than it actually was. Needless to say, we're exhausted!

We went out to lunch at Applebee's with DH's grandmother, aunt, uncle, and cousin. Everyone loved Sean's bunny ears! Now we're back home, Sean has had his Easter basket, and DH is starting to work on remodeling the living room. Kinda noisy in here and Sean is not enjoying it during his mealtime! I cannot wait until our living room is finished.

I hope everyone is having a great Easter!
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  #393  
April 1st, 2013, 11:20 AM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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Glad you had a good Easter! Hopefully you guys won't be permanently joining the 5:30am club. William and I are both morning people, and I guess Jack has inherited it from us. Still, on the weekends, it would be nice if he'd like to sleep in a bit, even until 6:30!

I can imagine your mother must just not want to leave you all. I'm thinking of you every day, multiple times each day. Sending lots of hugs and love your way.
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  #394  
April 1st, 2013, 11:34 AM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks, Adrienne. I'm sure that's part of it, too. The nurses say if she didn't have so many "reserves" (aka if she wasn't obese) it would have happened already. Last week was the longest week of my life and if today is any indication this week will feel just as long. I got down to my pre-pregnancy weight down in FL, but I've been comfort eating the past week so I need to reign that in. In some ways it's like the end of a pregnancy!

Doesn't seem like we'll be in the 5:30am wake up club, thank goodness! Sean woke up a few times, but slept until 11am. He was ready for a nap at noon and is still sleeping (it's now 2:30) so I think he's playing catch-up from yesterday.

I'm so glad he's not an early bird. I can't imagine being in your shoes. At least you're an early bird anyways. A lot of kids things start early, so that's when it would be nice if he woke up earlier, but that's really it.
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  #395  
April 1st, 2013, 06:23 PM
blueeyes25s's Avatar Expecting #1
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I'm sorry about your mom

I'm glad Sean had a great first Easter and hitting your prepregnancy weight!

Sean sleeps until 11am?!?! Wow that's crazy. I'm with Adrienne; I'm a morning person and usually up by 7. Whenever I sleep until 8 (hardly ever) that's sleeping in for me lol.

Anyways, just hang in there and take it a day at a time. Will be thinking of you.
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  #396  
April 2nd, 2013, 08:25 AM
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So sorry about your mom! I'm glad you are getting to see her and have closure now, even though its really tough.

Congrats on getting down to prepregnancy weight! Way to go!! With traveling and with what is going on with your mom, that is such a great accomplishment! I need some of your motivation.

Glad Sean is getting back to his sleeping habits. I dont mind getting up early, but I would like that time to be between 7-8, 530 is just too early for me. Ember sleeps until about 8, so I am happy about that.
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  #397  
April 5th, 2013, 08:54 AM
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  #398  
April 5th, 2013, 12:35 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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Thinking of you, Robyn.
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  #399  
April 5th, 2013, 08:35 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks, ladies.


For those of you not on my FB, Sean got a new guardian angel yesterday. Sorry this will be long, but I kind of need to talk this out. And this is a death story just to warn you in case you don't want to read it.

Sean and I had come down for a few hours because I figured my perfect goodbye was messed up already so I should just do weekly visits for the duration. I didn't do today because I was supposed to have an appt.

My mom woke up briefly when we got down. She got a kiss from Sean and we set him on the bed with her, but she really couldn't have him there so after a bit of letting him hold her hand and another kiss, we left her to go to sleep.

My brother was at work and my sister had to leave for a dr appt so Sean and I settled into the living room for him to nap and my dad flitted between working in his office and checking on my mom and sitting with her. Hospice had said hours to days when they checked her so I was texting my brother and DH trying to decide if Sean and I should just stay the night. We were thinking it'd happen overnight or today.

While this was going on my mom started sounding really scary. My dad had texted my brother saying not to take any late runs (he's an EMT) and my brother asked if it was bad. I told him she'd gotten a lot worse just in the three hours we'd been there. DH and I decided I should stay the night, my brother decided to leave work early, Sean woke up, and my dad came in to talk to me about how scary my mom sounded. She had finally settled since he gave her some extra morphine when he didn't know what else to do. I told him I thought it was for the best and what I'd have done. My BIL had wanted my sister to go out to dinner with him and stay the night at her house so my dad called my sister and said she should come back down after dinner.

While my dad was on the phone, I heard my mom stop breathing for over a minute. The apnea was common at this point but it just seemed different to me so I told my dad. He ran in to check on her and it happened again. He held her hand and told her to just relax. I had a feeling so I rushed to her other side and held Sean in one arm and her other hand with my free hand. I said "We love you; it's ok." And she took her last breath. My dad and I stood there waiting for her to breath again and my dad said, "I think that was it." He put the pulse ox monitor on her finger and it wasn't picking up anything. We were both shaking and freaked out and unsure what to do. It was not how we imagined her to go, so suddenly all things considered. We think her heart gave out after being in the 130bpm for at least 3 weeks. After a couple of minutes, we realized she truly had gone and I ran to call DH and he ran to call hospice. Then he called my sister to tell her and my brother since he didn't want them to find out by cars in the driveway.

It has been surreal ever since. Hospice took 1.5 hours to get here even though it was only supposed to take less than an hour, then the funeral home people arrived an hour or so after hospice left, so it was several hours of having her in the house. Luckily she was in the family room and we could hang out in the living room with a screen divider. The medical supply people came today so all that stuff is gone and the room is put back together, but we've barely spent any time in there because it feels wrong, even though that's where everyone usually gathers.

Today has been spent making arrangements. Funeral home, restaurant for the reception, florist. Thee is still so much left to do. Sean had his first trip to a funeral home today and my dad said we didn't need to commemorate that. I agree.

It just stinks, even though we knew it was coming and is for the best at this point, it just stinks.

Sean has been such a good boy and has helped put smiles on our faces. I'm so glad my mom got to meet a grandchild. I know it meant the world to her. And even though it was scary and I kind of wish I hadn't been here, I'm glad my dad wasn't alone.
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Last edited by Belita; April 5th, 2013 at 08:40 PM.
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  #400  
April 5th, 2013, 11:29 PM
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lots of always know we are here to listen if you need to talk things out hon xx
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