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A journal for my little Newt


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  #1  
April 2nd, 2013, 04:34 AM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
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I just can't sleep AT ALL, so I decided to start journaling

So today I am at 5 weeks....(oh lord that looks strange) and I still can't believe it! What an April Fools it was!!! My whole life changed in an instant. Yesterday I fluctuated between bouts of sobbing and laughter. I will never forget April Fools.

So I woke up this morning around 3:30 and I was ravinous! How can I be hungry??? Does hunger really come on that quick? But I was also really constipated. Guess I'm gonna have to invest in prunes or something. So after that all, I'm back in bed now. I have so much energy and so little at the same time!!

Every Tuesday at work a couple coworkers and I have a weigh in to keep each other on track. I have lost 140 lbs since June 2011 and it's that last stubborn 20lbs that refuses to stay off. So since today is Tuesday, I won't be so disappointed if I haven't lost anything. I wanna say something like, "hey! You two have an unfair advantage on me now!" Hahahaha!!!!

I really can't decide who to tell first! I am going to say something today at work because everyone has been asking a lot. The real trouble is mom and dad that I worry about telling. I don't know how to do it. I don't think they will go for cutsie (they just aren't the type) and they kinda don't care for my husband all that much....not that I blame them, my husband is near and dear to me and I have always loved him since I was 16, but to some he is an aquired (sp?) taste. He has an unusual way of relating to people that my parents can't stomach. That's ok though, they will come around eventually. Maybe after they see how absolutely happy I am. But I don't know how to tell them without crying....Oh well!!!!

I actually can't wait for more symptoms, it would make this whole thing seem more real. I have said time and time again I will not complain (although I don't think I can help milking it a lil ) I just can't wait to experience this whole thing. I can't wait for a belly!!!! I just wanna be fat with an excuse now!!!! Omg I'm hungry again!!! I just had some cheese sticks..... Well I'm gonna try to get some zzzzs before I have to wake up for work. Night night!!
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Happy April Fools Day on me!!! @ 17DPO

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  #2  
April 2nd, 2013, 07:08 AM
Nicholle ttc's Avatar TTC our first!
Join Date: Oct 2011
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Have a happy and healthy 9 months!
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TTCing since August 2011
Me (33)-LP on the short side, but no other abnormalities
DH (37)-slightly subfertile morphology and motility


Natural cycles-August 2011-July 2012
August 2012-October 2012 clomid and progesterone
November 2012-IUI
December 2012, cysts from IUI, on bcp

January 2013-February 2013, long protocol IVF
15 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, 7 fertilized with ICSI
All 7 made it to 5 day transfer, 2 were transferred
Only 1 frozen snowbaby
1st IVF


May 10, 2013, lap sx, Stage 1 endo

June 2013 - MA Round 2
Femara + hcg shot
IUI # 2


FET tentatively scheduled for 10/31/13

Have never seen a bfp.






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  #3  
April 2nd, 2013, 12:24 PM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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Thank you so much Nicholle!! I'm in a kinda surreal kinda trance right now this suuuuper weird!!!
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  #4  
April 2nd, 2013, 12:35 PM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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So at work today I told mostly everyone one by one.....and to be honest....I absolutely LOVE the attention!!! Suddenly I'm in with the cool kids. I almost feel like someone is going to take the rug out from under me to say, "Just kidding!!!" So at work, I work with a group of 4 guys on the evening shift and they have kind of turned into uncles in a way, and they keep telling me things like "now no rough housing anymore" and "no more races to the door after work" and "now you have to eat well don't quit"..... It's really sweet...I love them like my own family

But anyway---so I got a lil nausea but I didn't feel like actually throwing up, bbs are a lil sore, and I'm REALLY hungry and thirsty. So I was at target buying a six pack of ginger ale and when I got to the register one of the cans was leaking...and I wanted to cry about it LOL and the lady asked me if I wanted a new one and I'm screaming in my head, "of COURSE I want a new one!!! You mean I have to go and GET IT???? Are you kidding me?????" I actually found it super funny afterwards.

So yeah things are going good, I'm a lil tired physically but my head feels like I had 10 cups of coffee!!! I can't wait to get home to hubby and cuddle and sleeeeep----I can feel my sleepless night creeping up on me

C ya! E
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  #5  
April 2nd, 2013, 03:32 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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I just got your message - so happy for you!
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  #6  
April 3rd, 2013, 06:12 PM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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So today I decided to use my iPod voice memo feature to talk to Newt. I'm saying things that are on my mind and kind of relieving some in-the-moment thoughts. Not sure if Newt will ever get to hear them, but anyway....so this one recording I played back to myself, and it was like listening to someone else, and while listening to it I started to bawl!! Remember, I just said all of these things!!! Lol....

So 5w1d today.....I'm incredibly bloated (or was...I ripped off my work clothes as soon as I got home) and I wanted to fall asleep at work. I was DYING at work, ugg. But I still love it!!! I actually can't wait to get nauseous, if you can believe it. It would be something tangible that would let me know Newt is there....waiting.
I love you Newt
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  #7  
April 6th, 2013, 09:56 PM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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So today I told my parents and grandparents (on moms side) at once!

So I was supposed to go to my parents today for Les Mis movie night, and I was planning on telling just mom and dad. I went back and forth on how to do it (give my mom the test? Tell her right out?), but I settled on giving some of her clothes back that I had borrowed. Here's how it ended up:

I was on my way out the door to go to their house when my mom called to tell me they were at grandmas house. So I said I would meet them there. As I was driving my heart was pumping in my throat!!! Omg what are they going to say? What am I going to say? So I get there and I walk in and grandma, grandpa, mom, and dad are all sitting in the kitchen having a rousing conversation (I had purposely left my moms clothes in the car so I could assess the mood). I said hi to everyone, but turned around to say I forgot something in my car. I run out, get the clothes, and come back in. Well my dad gets up and askes me if I want something to drink (the drink fridge is in the garage) so I had to stall while I waited for him to get back. Then when he got back I go up to my mom and was like, "yeah sorry I borrowed your clothes so long. But I figured I should give them back anyway cuz they won't fit in a few months."......everyone went suuuuper quiet. My mom just stared at me for the longest minute, then asked, "um what do you mean by that?" And my dad says, " I think you have your answer." Then my mom stands there watching me smile and she has this priceless look of shock on her face, then she gives me a big hug and I start to cry! My dad hugs me then and my grandma stands there and just kept saying, "I don't believe this!" ( it's their first great grand baby and my parents first grand baby). My grandma kept going on about how her other friends have great grand children and she doesn't have any. So she is really excited! My mom kept saying that I was to ALWAYS let her babysit and never my MIL (which was cute in a way! She wants to be the cool grandma) and my dad asked me how I felt. I said I was scared, excited, etc. Grandma kept asking me if I was feeling alright.......OMG it was great!!!! This is the center of attention that I could get used to! I'm not normally; when DH and I got married, I was embarrassed by all the attention. But now......

So my mom wants to go shopping right away, so I said I wouldn't mind a little window shopping just to get some ideas, maybe buy a lil something . Omg my parents and grandparents are the best!!!! I was afraid of getting some sort of lecture or something (as if I did this as a teen), but I keep forgetting I'm pushing 30 in 2.5 years (omg!)

I love you little Newt, and now so many other people love you too. I can't wait to see your little face and hold you in my arms and count your fingers and toes.....Newt I will record a message for you as soon as I get this horrible frog out of my throat (uggg)

Love and kisses to my little Newt
Mom
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  #8  
April 7th, 2013, 03:00 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
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I'm very happy for you, Erin, and I'm glad that you started a journal. It's so cute that you are calling your baby Newt. I'm so glad that telling your parents, family, and co-workers went well. It sounds like everyone is really excited for you, and of course, we are very excited for you, too! Congratulations again!
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  #9  
April 9th, 2013, 02:04 PM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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So today, Newt is 6w old and we had the confirm appt. DH and I go to check in and they told us to go to the opposite end of the building! Oh I wanted to cry!!! But DH hugged and squeezed me all the way back to the other end of the building so catastrophe avoided!

So I got my height and weight checked (wow I didn't realize I didn't really gain anything....the tightness in my clothes is all you Newt!) and I got my blood pressure 104/70 something and just went over the basics, just like any other clinic visit. The nurse left and the midwife came in, she gave me my pee stick results (I am definatly plump with fetus!) and just went over some stuff. One thing I do have to do is get more Vitamin D3. I also didn't know that if you are feeling sick, you can just take folic acid instead of the prenatals for a little while until you start to feel better. I also found out I can most likely do water birth as long as I keep my weight in check .....other than that it was actually uneventfull. DH is a little more at ease with this now, which is awesome! Before he was in a kind of trance, like he didn't know what to do with himself.

Symptoms? General bowel upset first constipated then....well the other stuff. I'm bloated a lot. I am completely stuffed up, I am so congested it makes me want to cry, and I can't get any sleep because of it. I'm getting up in the middle of the night every night to pee. I'm really REALLY sleepy. I set up a bed in my back seat so i could sleep in my car on my lunch hour. I cramp a little every now and then, but it sometimes goes away for a whole day. No nausea, no vomiting. My bbs aren't even that sore, nor are they changing enough to notice. My emotions are for the most part under control, except for a few times where I just wanted to cry because of something little, and where my temper ran away with me and DH and I had a fight.

Well goodnight little Newt I'm going to take a nap---the best part of the day in my opinion: sleep!!!!

Mommy
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  #10  
April 12th, 2013, 03:19 AM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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I know my ticker says 6w2d but i think it's really 6w3d...anyway----

So, food aversions.....

The last few days I have had really crazy food stuff happening. The whole time, whenever I get hungry I try to graze, but not much sounds good these days. The other day someone was having spaghetti something and i could not WAIT to get home to have some myself. Then when I finally made some, it didn't taste as good as I thought, in fact, I wanted to throw up after I was finished. So spaghetti is out....

My first craving was ramon noodles with siracha sauce; now even when I think about it, it just churns my stomach. So that is out.

Yesterday, I had some Crystal Light (my favorite flavor too) and the aspartame flavor was so overwhelming that I don't think I can have anymore so that is out.....

Last night I reeeeaaaalllly wanted bagels and cream cheese and sweet potato fries (apparently White Castle no longer sells sweet potato fries ) so I picked some supplies up, went home, toasted a bagel while I waited for the fries to bake, and (there is just no other way to describe it) had a bagel orgasm!!! OMG!!!! I love bagels!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha, as I'm writing this I'm thinking about bagels now...omg I love bagels. Hopefully this feeling wont go away....

Smells have gotten really overpowering lately. I can smell everyone's perfume and aftershave and it makes me cringe. My desk at work is right by the kitchen, so I smell every facet of ingredients in everyone's food. A lot of it smells like cinnamon for some reason, but then it starts to smell bad, like rancid meat with spaghetti sauce. I describe the smells as a literal punch in the face, they are so powerful.

Well, it's now 4:18 am (I'm up due to thirst and a potty break), and I'm gonna try to get back to sleep.

Night night
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  #11  
April 12th, 2013, 03:19 AM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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I know my ticker says 6w2d but i think it's really 6w3d...anyway----

So, food aversions.....

The last few days I have had really crazy food stuff happening. The whole time, whenever I get hungry I try to graze, but not much sounds good these days. The other day someone was having spaghetti something and i could not WAIT to get home to have some myself. Then when I finally made some, it didn't taste as good as I thought, in fact, I wanted to throw up after I was finished. So spaghetti is out....

My first craving was ramon noodles with siracha sauce; now even when I think about it, it just churns my stomach. So that is out.

Yesterday, I had some Crystal Light (my favorite flavor too) and the aspartame flavor was so overwhelming that I don't think I can have anymore so that is out.....

Last night I reeeeaaaalllly wanted bagels and cream cheese and sweet potato fries (apparently White Castle no longer sells sweet potato fries ) so I picked some supplies up, went home, toasted a bagel while I waited for the fries to bake, and (there is just no other way to describe it) had a bagel orgasm!!! OMG!!!! I love bagels!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha, as I'm writing this I'm thinking about bagels now...omg I love bagels. Hopefully this feeling wont go away....

Smells have gotten really overpowering lately. I can smell everyone's perfume and aftershave and it makes me cringe. My desk at work is right by the kitchen, so I smell every facet of ingredients in everyone's food. A lot of it smells like cinnamon for some reason, but then it starts to smell bad, like rancid meat with spaghetti sauce. I describe the smells as a literal punch in the face, they are so powerful.

Well, it's now 4:18 am (I'm up due to thirst and a potty break), and I'm gonna try to get back to sleep.

Night night
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Happy April Fools Day on me!!! @ 17DPO

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  #12  
April 17th, 2013, 03:25 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
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I'm sorry about the overwhelming smells. I am already really sensitive to peoples' perfume and cologne, so I worry if I ever get pregnant, it will be out of control! I'm sorry that your desk is by the kitchen, too. Are you close with your co-workers? Maybe somebody would be willing to switch you desks or something.

Yay for the bagels!!
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  #13  
April 17th, 2013, 07:05 PM
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Awww I'm so happy to have found your journal. Sounds like everything is moving along well for you.
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  #14  
April 25th, 2013, 06:31 AM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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Thanks girls for sticking with me!!!!
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Happy April Fools Day on me!!! @ 17DPO

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  #15  
April 25th, 2013, 06:59 AM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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8weeks 3days

Ok, so sorry I haven't been updating lately---I have been super lazy and really not in the mood to do anything but sleep.

So here we go!

So on April 16th I had my first US appt and it was really overwhelming. Seeing that little baby on the screen made me cry! Also, the tech said I was measuring at 7w2d at that point (yay one day ahead!). I did get pics, but they don't show much, and I can't get a good pic to show here anyway. I did get to see the heartbeat, I believe it was at 136bpm yay!!!

I wanted to do a tally on all the things I was told I would feel or see that I do NOT feel or see (these are just things I have heard over the years)

*My nipples aren't really getting much darker
*I can't feel my uterus at this point (I'm not shocked but anyway...)
*I'm not all that emotional
*I don't get hot flashes (actually I'm really cold most of the time)
So that's all I can think of at this stage....I'm sure I will say more once I get farther along.


So let's do a run-down of symptoms:

*My most prominent symptom right now is smells. EVERYthing smells. Ugg, I hate it.
*Next would be food cravings and aversions. My suggestion is if you have a craving, buy just a little bit of it when you go grocery shopping, because chances are you will not like that food the next day. It's actually really confusing---I was all about bagels 2 weeks ago, now I could really care less, in fact I don't want anything to do with bagels. I'm about pancakes and chicken nuggets with bbq sauce lately, and yesterday I was all about watermelon. And crunchy tacos from Taco Bell (omg yummy). The aversions part is really strange: I haven't minded artificial sugar, I actually preferred it over real sugar (only stevia stuff, like Truvia), but now if I have anything with artificial sugar in it, it tastes like I have a mouthfull of SweetNLow (geeeross!!!!). So sugar-free stuff (all of it) is definitely out.
*The nausea has been curbing a bit, but I still feel it often. Lots of dry heaving.
*Vomiting. I have thrown up a total of 2 times. Once when I drank a whole ton of orange juice (oh yeah I don't like orange juice anymore) and the second time was when I ate an Arby's marketfresh sandwich.
*If I stand for a long period, I find myself wanting to really sit down and rest. I get kind of dizzy and lightheaded, and a general feeling of laziness that I just can't help sitting down.
*I know I haven't really been emotional, but I have been really irritable. Every little thing irritates me at work; all the little noises people make, it's grating on my nerves.
*I have been nesting a little, but I get really tired.
*Round ligament pain. So, by all accounts, I should not be feeling this right now, but a couple times, I have gotten really sharp pains near my pelvic area that last only a few seconds. Someone else asked on my DDC and they said it was the ligaments stretching and pulling like ropes. Hmm, makes sense. Along with that, cramping. Not painful, unbearable cramping, but it's uncomfortable. According to some websites I've seen, at this point my uterus is slowly getting bigger than a grapefruit and getting closer to the size of a cantaloupe (whaaaaat.....that's nuts!)
*Pregnancy brain: yes, this does exist. There are times when I feel a little....nutty. I'll forget things, or not hear something correctly and ask to hear it three or four times over, I stumble over my words a lot, and just an all over listlessness. It's really strange being this out of touch.
*Other things: bloating (not much), I'm thirsty, my fingernails look awesome.

So that's a run down of what's going on right now! I gotta run! And I'm hungry....

I love you Newt

I forgot something in symptoms!

*My boobs!!! They are super sensitive and are getting much larger, and they ache when I press on them, and sometimes just on their own. I think I've gone up a cup size. I really hate it when my husband goes anywhere near my bbs right now, I don't want anyone to touch them. It's really lovely when my cats wake me up by walking on them (you are going out the window, cat!)
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Last edited by ErinBoshnyak1985; April 25th, 2013 at 07:04 AM.
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  #16  
April 25th, 2013, 09:24 AM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
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You sound like you are in good spirits and feeling pretty good overall, so that's great! I enjoyed reading your list of things you are experiencing right now. I hope that the nausea goes away soon!

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  #17  
May 3rd, 2013, 06:18 AM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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9w4d

May 3rd------its STILL SNOWING WHYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Literally, it's making me really depressed. I tend to be depressed already, and this crappy crappy weather is taking a toll on my mood....I don't want to do anything at all, and when I think I want to do something when I get home from work, I just end up in bed at like 7:30. This really sucks.....

So the last week has really kicked my butt (but I'm still really happy that it is!)....but m/s.....ha, I really wanted to be sick just so I could experience what it was like. Well, I have been feeling it. Ugg, I've puked twice at work and a few more times back at home. It's not pleasant. However, a friend of mine suggested buying those little tiny cans of Coke and drinking one every time I feel nauseous. I've done it twice, and it does seem to help some. He says it's the sugar and the fizzy that helps with nausea. His wife did the same thing.

Sorry this is so short, I didn't realize how bad it was getting outside----gtg I will come back later and do a longer update!
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  #18  
May 6th, 2013, 02:01 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
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I can't believe that it's still snowing where you are! It's actually been pretty sunny and warm here. We usually have bad winter weather until the very last minute in this part of PA, too.

I'm sorry about the m/s. I hope that it eases up soon!!
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  #19  
May 12th, 2013, 05:08 PM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
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10w6d

Wow I am super fail when it comes to journaling (wow....is that a word?)

So it's been a combination of laziness, being sick, and being busy that I haven't been keeping up with the journal here.

I am still so happy that I'm here, but the m/s is making it really hard. It's not that I've been super nauseous really, it's just that anything I eat seems to sit at the top of my stomach or in my throat, so I know it's just a matter of time before it comes back up again eeeew.....It's been a really gross, disgusting road so far! Oh, and I broke a blood vessel in my eye from puking in a bucket while in bed, so that's awesome.

My last Dr. appointment I gained only 4 lbs! Yay! I'm trying not to gain more than 20 because if I do I can't have a water birth. I hate that they say you can't do this or you can't do that because you are too fat. I just wish I wasn't chicken to do a birth at home.....Well at this appt, I went through a lot of stuff that was going on: general symptoms, birthing plan, pregnancy classes (which by the way I don't plan on doing). She also said at the beginning that she would try to hear the heartbeat and asked if I had a full bladder (No! No one told me I needed a full bladder, thank you very much ), so because of that she wasn't able to hear it. I was disappointed, and still a little worried (what if something is wrong!), but I decided to ignore my feelings. Worrying will just give me ulcers or something.

So right after the Dr appointment I went home right away and FINALLY sent out my facebook announcement Now, who is this?! - YouTube and watched the congratulations roll in! THAT is the best feeling in the world! Because of my aversion to facebook (those of you in the TTC #1 board will sympathize) I haven't been all that active. But now I'm making a conscience effort to see all the moms' pages I know, and comment---something that my selfish, scared, jealous self wasn't doing. I feel, somehow, I outed myself for suddenly becoming active in that regard, like everyone knew I was jealous of their kids and secretly hated looking at all the fun times they were having. But, anyway.......I'll try not to think about that.

I guess the other reason I'm not writing.....is I'm still afraid. This still isn't real.

I have a genetic test coming up in a couple weeks on the 22nd----there they are doing an U/S and other stuff......So hopefully there is still a baby in there....I'm almost done with the first tri (holy crap!!!!) Tomorrow I will be done with week 11 and on to week 12!!!!

So I think I should do a run-down of symptoms just for others who are looking for a benchmark (a lot of these are going to be repeats):

*Vomiting/nausea: this is my biggest symptom for the last 2 weeks. Ugg, and the dry-heaving....gross....ugg and even worse, puking up bile when the dry heaving turns ugly.
*Smells!!!! Smells bother me so much! Having a super sensitive nose really blows. Lots of smells make me sick right away, and I can't help but run to the nearest trashcan.
*Food cravings and major aversions: the last two days, I am really liking mac&cheese and cold red potato wedges nom nom....aversions are still Chinese food, actually pretty much anything asian, and now NOW I can't do bbq sauce anything!!! Whaaaaat?!?!! I mentioned above that I was craving bbq sauce; now?....gross.
*General tiredness (ha! what house-work?!)
*Just a tad moody (no seriously, my mood is pretty much in check most of the time)
*Hungry: and when I'm hungry, I'm REALLY hungry!
*Peeing a lot (especially a couple times a night) and also a feeling of my bladder is not quite empty. I know this is TMI, but you know when you have to pee really bad and when you do you feel so much better because you're totally empty? Well I don't get that feeling anymore. I don't know quite how to describe it, but it feels slightly like a bladder infection (I know, I know....tmi)
*Boobs: So.....my boobies are huge, possibly a full cup size larger (ugg like I needed them any bigger ), I'm getting some slight colostrum building up on the nips and areola, which themselves are getting ever so slightly pinker, especially if I'm taking a shower, then they get the color of a bruise. They don't hurt as much as they did in the beginning (I have heard that pain wains in the 2nd tri), but every once in a while, I'll get this lightning pain on the sides.
*Slight cramping
*I find it a little more uncomfortable to sleep
*Dreams---omg the dreams! They are super crazy! They are so real!!! I haven't had a dream about our kid until a few nights ago (up until that time they were all about random stuff). In this dream, we had a daughter, and she could talk, read, and do the dishes right away, and her bedroom was lined with bookshelves. I've heard that this kind of dream is very common, to have a baby who was already grown up.
*Sorry for the tmi, but diarrhea and constipation. Lovely combo!
*Excessive burping!
*A little heartburn here and there

So then yea!

Have a Happy Mother's Day! Omg....I got that today....wow what a really weird feeling.
__________________


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Read My Journal! http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1...ttle-newt.html
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  #20  
May 12th, 2013, 05:08 PM
ErinBoshnyak1985's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: **Cloud 9**
Posts: 577
10w6d

Wow I am super fail when it comes to journaling (wow....is that a word?)

So it's been a combination of laziness, being sick, and being busy that I haven't been keeping up with the journal here.

I am still so happy that I'm here, but the m/s is making it really hard. It's not that I've been super nauseous really, it's just that anything I eat seems to sit at the top of my stomach or in my throat, so I know it's just a matter of time before it comes back up again eeeew.....It's been a really gross, disgusting road so far! Oh, and I broke a blood vessel in my eye from puking in a bucket while in bed, so that's awesome.

My last Dr. appointment I gained only 4 lbs! Yay! I'm trying not to gain more than 20 because if I do I can't have a water birth. I hate that they say you can't do this or you can't do that because you are too fat. I just wish I wasn't chicken to do a birth at home.....Well at this appt, I went through a lot of stuff that was going on: general symptoms, birthing plan, pregnancy classes (which by the way I don't plan on doing). She also said at the beginning that she would try to hear the heartbeat and asked if I had a full bladder (No! No one told me I needed a full bladder, thank you very much ), so because of that she wasn't able to hear it. I was disappointed, and still a little worried (what if something is wrong!), but I decided to ignore my feelings. Worrying will just give me ulcers or something.

So right after the Dr appointment I went home right away and FINALLY sent out my facebook announcement Now, who is this?! - YouTube and watched the congratulations roll in! THAT is the best feeling in the world! Because of my aversion to facebook (those of you in the TTC #1 board will sympathize) I haven't been all that active. But now I'm making a conscience effort to see all the moms' pages I know, and comment---something that my selfish, scared, jealous self wasn't doing. I feel, somehow, I outed myself for suddenly becoming active in that regard, like everyone knew I was jealous of their kids and secretly hated looking at all the fun times they were having. But, anyway.......I'll try not to think about that.

I guess the other reason I'm not writing.....is I'm still afraid. This still isn't real.

I have a genetic test coming up in a couple weeks on the 22nd----there they are doing an U/S and other stuff......So hopefully there is still a baby in there....I'm almost done with the first tri (holy crap!!!!) Tomorrow I will be done with week 11 and on to week 12!!!!

So I think I should do a run-down of symptoms just for others who are looking for a benchmark (a lot of these are going to be repeats):

*Vomiting/nausea: this is my biggest symptom for the last 2 weeks. Ugg, and the dry-heaving....gross....ugg and even worse, puking up bile when the dry heaving turns ugly.
*Smells!!!! Smells bother me so much! Having a super sensitive nose really blows. Lots of smells make me sick right away, and I can't help but run to the nearest trashcan.
*Food cravings and major aversions: the last two days, I am really liking mac&cheese and cold red potato wedges nom nom....aversions are still Chinese food, actually pretty much anything asian, and now NOW I can't do bbq sauce anything!!! Whaaaaat?!?!! I mentioned above that I was craving bbq sauce; now?....gross.
*General tiredness (ha! what house-work?!)
*Just a tad moody (no seriously, my mood is pretty much in check most of the time)
*Hungry: and when I'm hungry, I'm REALLY hungry!
*Peeing a lot (especially a couple times a night) and also a feeling of my bladder is not quite empty. I know this is TMI, but you know when you have to pee really bad and when you do you feel so much better because you're totally empty? Well I don't get that feeling anymore. I don't know quite how to describe it, but it feels slightly like a bladder infection (I know, I know....tmi)
*Boobs: So.....my boobies are huge, possibly a full cup size larger (ugg like I needed them any bigger ), I'm getting some slight colostrum building up on the nips and areola, which themselves are getting ever so slightly pinker, especially if I'm taking a shower, then they get the color of a bruise. They don't hurt as much as they did in the beginning (I have heard that pain wains in the 2nd tri), but every once in a while, I'll get this lightning pain on the sides.
*Slight cramping
*I find it a little more uncomfortable to sleep
*Dreams---omg the dreams! They are super crazy! They are so real!!! I haven't had a dream about our kid until a few nights ago (up until that time they were all about random stuff). In this dream, we had a daughter, and she could talk, read, and do the dishes right away, and her bedroom was lined with bookshelves. I've heard that this kind of dream is very common, to have a baby who was already grown up.
*Sorry for the tmi, but diarrhea and constipation. Lovely combo!
*Excessive burping!
*A little heartburn here and there

So then yea!

Have a Happy Mother's Day! Omg....I got that today....wow what a really weird feeling.
__________________


Happy April Fools Day on me!!! @ 17DPO

Read My Journal! http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1...ttle-newt.html
Belly Pics! Updated Weekly!!!http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1...elly-pics.html





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