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I can't help but feel so jealous of you guys I keep thinking how I should still be pregnant.. I want to feel kicks, I want back pain, mood swings and cravings. I'm so sad that I will never get to do this again and I feel robbed off really getting to enjoy my last pregnancy I hate that I have to leave my newborn baby everyday with strangers, and I hate that she doesn't really feel like my baby... Rub those bellies ladies, you're all so very lucky
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Emma, DP of Laur. Future-Step-Mama to J (14) and K (9). Mama to Jaelah (6) Oliver (4) Mianna (2) & Harper (11mths). WTTC lucky #7 in 2014.
Thank you Yvonne (Jaidynsmum) for another gorgeous siggy
I truly know how lucky I am to feel like crap. You have one gorgeous little hoot on your hands, though, even if the circumstances of her arrival were not ideal.
Oh Em...
I'm so sorry :/
Here we all complain about the simple trivial things when things could be so very different...
I hope your beautiful little girl is strong enough soon that you won't have to leave her anymore...
Im giving my belly an extra rub for you...
BIG HUGS!!!!
Very much love to you and your little one....
Thanks girls Don't feel bad for complaining, I know how uncomfortable it all gets and I know I'd probably be complaining too...
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Emma, DP of Laur. Future-Step-Mama to J (14) and K (9). Mama to Jaelah (6) Oliver (4) Mianna (2) & Harper (11mths). WTTC lucky #7 in 2014.
Thank you Yvonne (Jaidynsmum) for another gorgeous siggy
I think its mainly because I won't ever be pregnant again, I won't ever have a newborn again and I'm being robbed of both. She will most likely be 6 weeks or older before I am able to bring her home.. just sucks and I'm scared I won't have the same bond with her that i've had with the others...
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Emma, DP of Laur. Future-Step-Mama to J (14) and K (9). Mama to Jaelah (6) Oliver (4) Mianna (2) & Harper (11mths). WTTC lucky #7 in 2014.
Thank you Yvonne (Jaidynsmum) for another gorgeous siggy
My sister had a preemie before 30 weeks and less than 4 pounds. She was a tremendous fighter, though, and was actually out of hospital in under 3 weeks. She and my sister had and still have a tremendous bond (and my niece is now almost 11 years old). In a strange way, it's as if they have an even stronger bond than if the circumstances of her birth had been different.
I'm sure these feelings will pass. And I'll be hoping that Harper is home with you much sooner than expected.
Its gotten easier since we moved to the new hospital, they really try to make me feel involved. The other place was such a huge SCU/NICU and they never made any effort in keeping me updated or making me feel like she was mine. I was too timid to touch her, today i changed her nappy without any assistance, checked her temp and got her out for cuddles I hate that i can only hold her twice a day, and I hate that I have to wait until someone else tells me its okay.. I dream off the day i have her home and are able to hold her all day, I can't wait to be woken up every 2 hours during the night to breastfeed... I can't wait.
Emma, DP of Laur. Future-Step-Mama to J (14) and K (9). Mama to Jaelah (6) Oliver (4) Mianna (2) & Harper (11mths). WTTC lucky #7 in 2014.
Thank you Yvonne (Jaidynsmum) for another gorgeous siggy
I'm always rubbing my tummy and smiling and being thankful anyway, but shall do so even more today with you and Harper in mind honey.
Awww you will get that special bond with her sweetie, it may just take more time. It might end up being even more special because you've known this time of separation and because she has been through so much. And you and Harper are special to us all here because she is our very first (and very beautiful) hatchling.
Awwww biggest hugs to you! I am praying for the strength of your baby as well as your own. I know it is a huge undertaking to have a baby early. But count your blessings - your baby is alive and being taken care of and will be in your arms at home soon. So many women can't even say they have that. So just try to see the good in this - your baby is strong and making it through being a premie. (((HUGS)))
You two are bonded already. I've seen all the pictures. She loves nothing more than those snuggles with you. I bet she looks forward to them as much as you do. I understand feeling robbed though. This was not the perfect pregnancy for you and what happened was not fair in any way. But soon this will all be a distant memory. You'll both be home soon.
Nevermind... just incase anyone else is wondering, I am VERY thankful Harper is doing so well and is alive, I personally feel that I am still very much entitled to missing her and hating the situation I am in. Also thought I could share these feelings with you guys, instead of holding it all in. I have never gone through anything so hard. I gave birth alone (without any friends, family), I was in a hospital 4 hours away for 14 days before I got to see my kids again, I went through a separation with the father of my kids who has not seen or asked how his daughter is going. Things for me right now, aren't great but I get through because I have a daughter whos strength keeps me going...
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Emma, DP of Laur. Future-Step-Mama to J (14) and K (9). Mama to Jaelah (6) Oliver (4) Mianna (2) & Harper (11mths). WTTC lucky #7 in 2014.
Thank you Yvonne (Jaidynsmum) for another gorgeous siggy
Last edited by HippieLove; June 17th, 2012 at 09:23 AM.
You are an absolute inspiration to those of us here Emma, with how strong you've been through all you have been through. And of course you can talk about your feelings here. We are sending you tons of love and light - I wish I could be nearer to you so I could do more practically to help you through this.
It IS hard when you have a baby in NICU who you can't have around all the time. Daniel wasn't a preemie, but he was in neonatal for 2 weeks, and it is a very trying time. Of course I was grateful - so grateful I had been down on my knees on the floor of my hospital room praying thanks once he was stable - that he's a little fighter and very much alive and kicking. But I can't count the down days I had while he was still in hospital, especially the times where he took a downward slide such as developing an infection in his chest drain which made homecoming seem ever further away. It's such a rollercoaster, and I for one think you are handling it superbly, and you must pour out here whenever you need to, rather than bottling it up. We do NOT want YOU ill Emma, you have been through enough, and Harper needs you!
You have every right to feel ANYTHING you want (or don't want) to feel Emma. I'm sure you've gone through a roller coaster of emotions than most of us will never have to endure.
I have a feeling you and Harper will have a very special bond that will last a lifetime and I bet she longs for you to hold her just the same as you do. It's your love that gets her through to the next time you are together.
Sharron is right, you are an amazing inspiration and one of the strongest Mamas I've ever had the privilege to know.
I am praying for you during this difficult time. I hope that soon this will be a distant memory and things will be better.
I think your feelings are perfectly normal. I hope you can feel our support and know that we are here for you.
I can't even imagine... And I know this is a hard time for you. I'm sorry that you're going through it. I hope that the time comes VERY SOON that you can have all your babies at the same time.
I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now hun. It must not be easy leaving your little fighter in the hospital. I'm so glad she's a fighter and is doing so well. I would imagine it's normal to morn the remainder of the pregnancy right now. This wasn't easy for you one bit, so of course you feel robbed. I can only imagine I would feel the same way. Please don't feel like you can't express your feeling with us. I would hope that we could all share how we truly feel with this wonderful group of ladies.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11
Big Hugs Emma. I'm sure i would be feeling the same way, it is nothing like you had been imagining the last few weeks of your pregnancy to be since you got your BFP im sure. express yourself and let it all out, it has to feel better then keeping it all in! we are all here for you and baby Haper which btw is such a fighter and i know will be in your arms in no time.
