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Love my MIL (slightly OT)


Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
November 16th, 2011, 12:29 PM
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Join Date: May 2010
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But grandbabies make her a little loco.

When DH and I got married, I kept my last name. We made a deal about the children too- the first boy and first girl will receive his last name, the second of each will receive mine, etc. I think it's pretty fair.

She hates it and it makes her so mad. She's such a sweet lady normally, but I think she's ready to kill me. Now that we are on our second pregnancy and the possibility of one of her grandbabies having a different last name is just too much and she's already on her crusade.

Hopefully she lets up a bit. I'm getting fb messages, texts, and calls about this and we're not even at 6 weeks.
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  #2  
November 16th, 2011, 01:46 PM
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Haha it IS a little unusual but whatever works for your DH and yourself is what matters. She'll forget all about it when LO is born.
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  #3  
November 16th, 2011, 01:47 PM
LadyBugMommyof1's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hope she lets up a bit. It's your and yor DH's decision, NOT hers!
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  #4  
November 16th, 2011, 06:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nikerbokers View Post
Haha it IS a little unusual but whatever works for your DH and yourself is what matters. She'll forget all about it when LO is born.
Ha, it is different but it was the most fair compromise we could work out. If I don't pass my last name on it'll literally die out and I don't want to see that happen. There's no boys at all.

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Originally Posted by LadyBugMommyof1 View Post
I hope she lets up a bit. It's your and yor DH's decision, NOT hers!
Thank you!
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  #5  
November 16th, 2011, 06:25 PM
ohfiddleheads's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm in the same boat being the last of the line. I'm an only child, so my last name is ending with me.
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  #6  
November 16th, 2011, 08:06 PM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I can understand why she'd be a bit thrown by it, espicially if she's an older lady, in her day it's probably almost unheard of...but this is something that is up to you and DH and no one else. I can totally understand your reasons given that your last name would otherwise end. I think I'd just reassure her that 1) the baby is no less her grandchild regardless of last name and 2) encourage her to imagine how she would feel if her family line were about to die out. You've made sure your DH's last name is secure by giving the first son his last name but if you are in a position to do so, you'd like to see your family name survive as well. Tell her you hope she can understand that...
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  #7  
November 16th, 2011, 09:02 PM
Chevy_Gurl's Avatar Super Mommy
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Another reason why I love my MIL. I can see where she's coming from but I can also swee where you are coming from. Either way it's not her decision it's yours & your DH and what makes you guys happy. I'm the last in my family line too and I just put it as a middle name for one of the boys so they could have it if they choose.
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  #8  
November 17th, 2011, 06:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ohfiddleheads View Post
I'm in the same boat being the last of the line. I'm an only child, so my last name is ending with me.
I'm sorry *hugs*.

Quote:
Originally Posted by amf4976 View Post
I can understand why she'd be a bit thrown by it, espicially if she's an older lady, in her day it's probably almost unheard of...but this is something that is up to you and DH and no one else. I can totally understand your reasons given that your last name would otherwise end. I think I'd just reassure her that 1) the baby is no less her grandchild regardless of last name and 2) encourage her to imagine how she would feel if her family line were about to die out. You've made sure your DH's last name is secure by giving the first son his last name but if you are in a position to do so, you'd like to see your family name survive as well. Tell her you hope she can understand that...
She's not that old (DH is 16 years older than me and she's still significantly younger than my mom). I do get her reasoning, but I wish she'd respect mine as well. DH has a son from a previous marriage, so she is guaranteed at least 2 grandchildren to potentially pass on her name. She also has another son who is 25 and recently married, so I am sure she will have grandchildren from them eventually. We did try to point out that my last name will die out and she said my dad should have had more children to have a boy, but they were unable to have more children after me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chevy_Gurl View Post
Another reason why I love my MIL. I can see where she's coming from but I can also swee where you are coming from. Either way it's not her decision it's yours & your DH and what makes you guys happy. I'm the last in my family line too and I just put it as a middle name for one of the boys so they could have it if they choose.
The middle name is a great solution, it just wasn't for us personally. I really do have a great relationship with her normally, this issue just makes her a little nuts. I'm doing my best to make everyone happy and that's impossible.
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