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Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
December 2nd, 2011, 02:12 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,128
Am I being silly?

We have a hb. I need to tell a few people irl. I just can't. I want to wait until our next scan at about 10 weeks. Main reason is because a loss can still happen. I don't even want to tell family, but we have to over Christmas. And dd is already asking questions about my fat tummy. Yeah...thanks! I just am afraid to tell in case we loss the baby. But I'm afraid a few people would feel like I'm being dishonest if I wait. They haven't asked...and if they did I'd tell...but i don't want to go back and say we lost our baby. That's harder. I feel silly. This pregnancy is normal so far. But even notice the "so far", my losses are still very real.
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  #2  
December 2nd, 2011, 02:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,752
I'm not ready to tell people in real life. The one who asked I can't remember if I lied or if I deferred the question... :/ I think if you want to tell a few people then go ahead, but I personally would rather wait.
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  #3  
December 2nd, 2011, 04:36 PM
TKbunny's Avatar Elias's slave..err..Mommy
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You are NOT silly for not wanting to tell yet hun It's normal after what you've been through. I'm not telling anyone either just yet for the same reason. And if you think YOU'RE feeing bad for being dishonest... Today my neighbor, the REVEREND from the church called me to see how I was ( she knows about my ectopic a few months back) and I had to lie to HER saying we didn't know when we wanted to start trying again and if we could get pg and so on. But I can't tell her I'm already pg... not without asking DH and I'm sure he wouldn't want to tell anyone before our parents. I'm not going to Hell for lying to the Rev, now am I? I still feel bad. But if people can't understand why you aren't telling them right away, then that's their problem. If they thought about it a while, I'm sure they could come up with the answer. You have no reason to worry about what anyone else thinks of you keeping it a secret for as long as you need to to feel comfortable about it. It's YOUR news, you share it with whom you wish, when you wish. Just look at celebs. They never 'announce' they're pg until way after they're showing. So treat yourself like a celebrity, you deserve it!
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  #4  
December 2nd, 2011, 04:42 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 1,091
Every one is comfortable doing it in their own time. I have known so many who have lost babies at all stages so I now realize there is no safe time. That being said, very close family know and a handful of friends. We'll probably share more after the holidays
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  #5  
December 2nd, 2011, 05:15 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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I am kind of reveling in the thought that our families don't know yet We've told a few friends that I see weekly who would catch on to my belly and being sick etc but this is the longest we've waited to tell anyone so it's been kinda fun.
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  #6  
December 2nd, 2011, 06:58 PM
MamaFish's Avatar Swimming Upstream
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I do know how you feel since I've lost 4 babies. I hate to tell people so early and then have to tell them the "other" news. There are some people who would really like to support and pray for you now and those are the people that would appreciate knowing so they can care for you either way.

I need to let my mom know soon, even though I don't think my dad will be too thrilled. We won't go for a first visit/hb check 'til January.

I remember after one of my losses that I felt very alone because no one knew I was pg except my mom who lives out of state. I needed some friends to know and grieve with me.
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  #7  
December 3rd, 2011, 06:30 PM
Mom.to.PinknBlue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think you are being silly at all. You have to do what you are comfortable with. And people can't understand that, then too bad for them. I am still paranoid I am going to lose this baby, even though everything looks perfect. Things just happen. (((hugs)))
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  #8  
December 4th, 2011, 12:14 AM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
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You know what I find silly, I won't tell my mum but if I had a loss she'd be the first I'd call (after Chris of course). I just can't bring myself to tell her... I like it being our little secret for now.

Oh and I don't think you're being silly at all
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  #9  
December 4th, 2011, 04:34 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HippieLove View Post
You know what I find silly, I won't tell my mum but if I had a loss she'd be the first I'd call (after Chris of course). I just can't bring myself to tell her... I like it being our little secret for now.

Oh and I don't think you're being silly at all
I've done the same thing! With my losses I called my mom! She worked as an Ob nurse for nearly 15-20 years. I'm not the doctors favorite person but I still haven't told her!

I'm going to wai until our next ultrasound to make sure baby still has a heartbeat. Unless the topic comes up sooner. I mourn loss in private because it's easier for me. I just can't bring myself to tell bad news after good news.
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  #10  
December 4th, 2011, 06:12 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2011
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You are not being silly at ALL. It's really such a personal choice and decision as when to tell anyone that you're pregnant. If people find you "dishonest" for not sharing, that's really their own issue... not yours.

to you.
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  #11  
December 4th, 2011, 07:06 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,752
I totally misread this at first. I thought you wanted to tell people, lol. I didn't tell anyone at work until I was 19 weeks pg with my last, and I was about the same when I told work with DD#3. Family didn't get told we were pg with DS until we were 15-16 weeks along.
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