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Gender Prejudice?


Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
December 5th, 2011, 04:19 PM
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Does anyone else experience gender prejudice from others?

First off there are three boys and one girl in my family, boy-boy-girl-boy (all full bio)
in dh's family there are 2 girls and 2 boys, boy-boy-girl-girl (all also full bio)

my brother and sil have girl-boy-girl

To me I honestly don't care which gender we have, I think dh might secretly want this baby to be a boy just bc we do have two girls and he asked me "what are the odds on this baby's gender?" um 50/50 again!

Anyways my point is that with each of my previous pregnancies the majority of time I've been told by others oh i hope you are having a boy, or is it a boy???? etc. esp from mil who has rooted for boy each time and refused to believe the baby was a girl until birth.

I have only told a few friends that I am expecting and I got a pm from a friend today that said "Oh I hope you finally have a boy this time!" ***? I really don't care either way and would be just as thrilled with three girls, or two girls and a boy, but srsly??? Is it more desired to have a boy than a girl?

I almost this time around want to find out the gender and NOT tell anyone bc I really don't want to hear either "Oh, another girl?? or "FINALLY! A boy" remarks.
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  #2  
December 6th, 2011, 07:51 AM
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Aww I haven't told anyone really so I haven't got anything like that. I have 2 girls and 1 boy, I am hoping for another boy so.
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  #3  
December 6th, 2011, 08:21 AM
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Dh is rooting for a boy. I know my grandma wants a great-grandson . She has two great granddaughters. and my step cousin is expecting also. So whoever, if either, has a boy will be the favored child. Aside from that, nobody really cares.
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  #4  
December 6th, 2011, 10:13 AM
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Dh's family is like that. It's very very deep-rooted in their culture. I'm glad I had a boy first becuase they get disappointed if it's not a boy. In fact, if you don't have a boy you're often pressured by a MIL to keep having babies until you have at least one boy. Glad that's outta the way for me.

On the other fence, my family keeps saying how thye want me to have a girl. Last time it was the same thing. They were all disappointed it wasn't a girl now, and this time they keep saying "oh I hope it's a girl this time!". So annoying. Who cares? All I want is a healthy baby!
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  #5  
December 6th, 2011, 10:43 AM
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My family on mine and hubby's side prefers boys. I just don't listen to them. Our families most often have negative/crazy things to say. So we just ignore them. It's hard sometimes, but we do our best to block out everyone's unwelcome opinions on things.
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  #6  
December 6th, 2011, 11:05 AM
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Almost everyone I know only wants boys.. its sickening to me. Why do people get so worked up over boys?? Are we that sexist as a society?? When my cousin found out she was having another girl people said to her "oh no im so sorry!" What is there to be sorry about? She was blessed with a beautiful healthy baby girl!

Ugh.. this is a sore subject for me.. I just don't get it..
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  #7  
December 6th, 2011, 11:10 AM
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I only want boys. I don't think it's sexist at all. I just prefer worms, dirt and belches to ribbons, lace and curtsies.

Now that I have one boy I get "Oh this one should be a girl", "I bet you want this one to be a girl" or "I hope you get your girl". I always tell them no matter what gender, it will be loved, but if I had my choice I would have another boy.

I don't really get why people get worked up over what gender someone else is having.... :shrugshoulders:
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  #8  
December 6th, 2011, 11:58 AM
MissMeliss0522's Avatar Super Mommy
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The way I see it, for myself that is, is that I have been blessed with 3 girls and if this one is a girl as well I was meant to be a mother to each one for a reason. While I would love to experience being a mother to a son, I am happy either way. Last pregnancy I had thought i was having a boy, things felt different and I made the mistake of saying I thought I may be having a boy. I had to hear "oh it's another girl are you disappointed?" lol really?!
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  #9  
December 6th, 2011, 12:20 PM
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Casey, I so know how you feel. It took us almost 3 years to conceive our first, so when we were finally pregnant, we didn't care WHAT sex the baby was. My mom realllly wanted it to be a girl. Like really, really. We had a gut feeling it was a boy, but we were just happy to be pregnant! My mom was a bit disappointed at first it was a boy... but now she absolutely adores her grandson.

With our second... again, we could NOT care less about the sex. That was the least of our concerns, and we really, REALLY didn't have a preference. But I got... ALL THE TIME "oh, I hope you have a girl this time!!" Which just kind of... annoyed me. Then when it WAS a girl, I often got the "Perfect! A girl and a boy, now you can be done!" uh.... no. We've always wanted 4 kids, regardless of genders.

I think the one thing that bugs me the most about this pregnancy (aside from a weird reaction I'm getting from some people that I talked about in the August DDC) is that my mom isn't "excited" at all about this one. She was INSANELY excited about the first pregnancy (it was her first grandchild), even with the slight disappointment that he's not a girl, lol.... she was thrilled about the second pregnancy (*especially* since it was a girl... and because she got to be at the birth on that one)... but since this is baby #3, and we already have one of each... she seems totally unexcited.
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  #10  
December 6th, 2011, 12:33 PM
Niamh ૐ's Avatar Green Mama Goddess
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kemper2.0 View Post
I only want boys. I don't think it's sexist at all. I just prefer worms, dirt and belches to ribbons, lace and curtsies.
Girls can play with worms, dirt, and they belch too.
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  #11  
December 6th, 2011, 12:40 PM
ohfiddleheads's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I know DH wants a boy but only because he's not excited about raising a teenage girl. I don't get what the big deal with boys is either. I haven't heard any gender preference from other family members, but I wouldn't be surprised if DH's family just assumes it's going to be a boy because his family consists of a lot of boys. This makes me wonder if my own mom and dad would me to have a boy too because they lost a son 3 days after birth and this could be the little boy in their lives they always missed. I for one would like to have a girl because whenever I see little 12 mo old girls toddling around they just look so freaking adorable.

But honestly, I just want a BABY! And if anyone gives me lip about gender I just might stand up and say too freakin' bad! Not your kid, not your concern.
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  #12  
December 6th, 2011, 12:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh ૐ View Post
Girls can play with worms, dirt, and they belch too.
My girl loves to play in dirt! lol
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  #13  
December 6th, 2011, 12:53 PM
Niamh ૐ's Avatar Green Mama Goddess
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eeecm3 View Post
My girl loves to play in dirt! lol
So does mine, lol. She's so gross sometimes! (and I mean that lovingly) And my son loves a lot of "societal girly" things. For Halloween this year, he went as Snow White.
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  #14  
December 6th, 2011, 01:56 PM
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I have 2 DD's.. we just told family a few days ago.. but I am SURE that Dh's family and maybe some others are going to make comments hoping it is a boy... I do know that DH would love to have a boy.. But for me i just want a healthy baby...
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  #15  
December 6th, 2011, 02:08 PM
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I know how you feel, you can imagine with having SIX boys all the remarks I will be hearing. I know when I was pregnant with Seth I got the OH NO NOT AGAIN, or HAHA TRY AGAIN...and more. It sent me into a depression. Its only normal for people to ask, but seriously, they have to stop, think then ask. Healthy is what matters from the getco. I just dont understand why people must feel the need to be so mean and nasty. My mom had G G G B, My sister has B B G G(twins), my SIL has B G, my MIL has B G, ..so I thought MAYBE I might fit in there and had a girl. ya right. DH and I have swayed and *attempted* for a girl this time. At this point in time I dont care of the gender, I am pregnant and its risky right now, so I will be happy with what ever if people just shut up. LOL
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  #16  
December 6th, 2011, 02:16 PM
tryingfornumber1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I must be in the minority here, but I couldn't care less what other people say about it being a boy or girl. It's going to be whatever gender it is, period. DH wants a boy, but I know he would love his little girl (if he had one) just as much as a boy.
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  #17  
December 6th, 2011, 02:58 PM
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I really only did with S. My MIL spent the entire 9 months commenting on how he needed to be a girl she needed a girl in a family full of boys. 1. it used to piss me off because she had a granddaughter already while no not by blood she was still my husband's step daughter who he loves like his own and 2. no matter what I can't change God's intentions. Finally after S was born we talked about it and she apologized and said she got caught up in the hype of a girl. I think sometimes we get blinded by personal preference we forget that it's not in our hands.
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  #18  
December 6th, 2011, 04:15 PM
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PHEW! It's not just me! lol I kinda thought I was the only one being told what gender I needed to have!
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  #19  
December 6th, 2011, 05:20 PM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cjthomps26 View Post
PHEW! It's not just me! lol I kinda thought I was the only one being told what gender I needed to have!
nope not alone. It seems alot of people take it upon themselves to say it. Among other remarks. I just wish people would think. I know I asked a silly question to a friend just over a year ago, I asked her if she was excited to be pregnant. OMG if i could of ran I would of. Like I never say those things. I felt so bad and I still say sorry to her. I have caught myself asking a freiend or two how they got girls LOL
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Sean 16, Justin 13, Kevin 11, Jayson 10, Bryce 4, Seth 3 & Kade 1
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 & Sept 2013 TR May 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed with 1 Autistic and 1 Down Syndrome child
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alyssa Marie Jade
September 1, 2013 @ 11:01pm 6lb 8oz & 18.5in
Emerg C Sec, Down Syndrome blessing, AVSD, Hirschsprungs, G tube
58 day NICU stay, Sept 1- Oct 29 2013





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  #20  
December 6th, 2011, 06:02 PM
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Our family does it too..My In Laws wanted a boy as a first for us-which we did,lol-,because DH is the last man in the family with the lastname, so they wanted that to be carried on. I also wanted a boy, well hoped, thinking it would be so great to have a big brother whenever we would have the second baby. Now everyone is telling me that they hope its a girl, because there are only 3 grandsons in the family, no girls...soooo no pressure...lmao. We'll see..i want a healthy, happy baby, and secretly hoping for a little girl, but its really not that important.
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Last edited by Krisztina; December 6th, 2011 at 06:07 PM.
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