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  #1  
December 5th, 2011, 07:15 PM
mshah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I haven't called to schedule my first appointment yet. This is because I'm rather undecided as to which way I want to go. My last birth was through a birthing center with midwives, I delivered in the water, and it was amazing. Well, looking back it was amazing. But at the time I was in hell. Pure hell. The pain was so horrendous and I had a 30 hour labor with 5 of it pushing. The midwives are fabulous, the center is amazing, but the labor and birthing, and feeling my skin ripping apart was NOT. Im terrified. Absolutely terrified to feel that again. I know they say the first one is the hardest, but my mom had long labors as well, so I'm sure it'll be 20+ hours for me this time.

Im scared of a hospital. I would love love love love love love an epidural, but Im so scared that due to my long labor I would be given pitocin (impatient docs would no way let me go the length of time my body needs to deliver. I dilate slowly. So what?). Then my heartbeat and bp would skyrocket, and baby would follow suit. Then I'd be rushed in for an emergency c-sec and not get the intimate time with my baby. Not to mention the healing time from the c-sec. And the time laying in the hospital bed hooked up to a machine with a needle in my arm. And dragging the pole with me to the bathroom. Ugh.

Such two totally different ballgames here. I want the midwives and birthing center (or homebirth if I could convince dh), but with an epidural. Unfortunately, the two are incompatable.

Any of you had long labors with an epidural but not had a c-section or pitocin? Any thoughts? Advice? I feel so stuck and I need to schedule the appointment so I can get this ball rolling, lol!

Thanks, ladies!
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  #2  
December 5th, 2011, 07:23 PM
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I didnt have long labors.. but my sister has 5 kids and all of hers were long. She did have an epidural with all of them.. She didnt not have any csections. I am not sure on the pitocin tho.. Good Luck with your decision!
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  #3  
December 5th, 2011, 07:30 PM
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How about you go to a hospital birthing center using a midwife and maybe a doula, and just labor at home for as long as you need? I think a doula would do wonders to help keep you focused and calm(er) reducing your anxiety and therefore pain. Maybe if you had a goal of trying to wait until you were like 6 cm before getting the epidural that would help, and if getting the epidural is slowing things down (sometimes it allows you to relax and speeds things up, but not always) ask the doc/midwife ahead a time about turning it off after a break from the discomfort and allowing labor to pick up and progress on it's own....

Just as a little side note, #1 I was induce, and delivered 12.5 or so hours later. #2, no induction, I labored (not horribly) for 28 hours, I did get an epidural at 6 cm, my labor did stall at 9 cm, and I did get pitocin to start it back up and delivered an hour after the pitocin. #3 I was in labor 3 hours. I barely made it to the hospital. (I think both #2 and #3 were sunny side up, which delayed labor. When #3 rotated I went from 5 to delivered in 3 contractions). #4 doesn't count. I had a scared cervix that acted like a cerclage...

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to get at is, just cause you labored long with #1, doesn't mean you will with #2. Keep an eye on how long the contractions are lasting and how far apart, lol. I ended up with a nurse delivering #3's head and a resident delivering the rest of her. MY doc showed up to stitch me up from my lacerations.
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  #4  
December 5th, 2011, 07:32 PM
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My labours were not extremely long. With my first and second, contracts first started at like midnight and when I got to tthe hospital an hour later I was already at 6cm. My first request was the epidural so I got that and then was in heaven. I enjoyed the rest. I got to relax. I started pushing at 6:00am in the followinf morning and pushed for 3 hours. They both did not want to come out so they used forceps with my son( NEVER AGAIN) and with my daughter was the vaccum. Those labours did not result in C-section. My 3rd was a c-section because of my placenta and it was not that bad. I was up walking round the next day. Did not have to drag a pole to the bathroom. They left the catheder in the first night so I would not have to get up and then next day I was good to go...
Good luck with your decision....
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  #5  
December 5th, 2011, 07:40 PM
mshah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Unfortunately, no hospitals in my area having a birhting center within it. It's an all or nothing sort of thing. Thats a good idea about laboring at home as long as I could...worth a shot. But then, having an OB instead of a midwife, do they do cervical checks each appt? Can I say no to all cervical checks at appts altogether? (Unless theres a reason to believe I could be dilating). I love the appts with the midwives - never any cervical checks or invasive stuff at all. Im afraid an OB would be waiting for an hour to be seen, rushed through the appt within 5 minutes, doc doesnt know me, I dont know them, Im ignored, and my vagina is fiddled with at every visit. Am I blowing it all out of proportion? lol!
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  #6  
December 5th, 2011, 07:47 PM
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I had an OB with my last one and the only time I started getting cervical checks was around 39 wks and it was because I asked. I think they actually didn't start doing it until 40 wks.
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  #7  
December 5th, 2011, 07:55 PM
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You have the right to refuse any treatments/procedures you don't want in ANY aspect of your health. If you don't want internals, then don't get them.

I think you would be more comfortable with a midwife though, and there are plenty of midwives that deliver in hospitals. OBs are surgeons, even the nicest of them. With hospitals, they do require monitoring, but some require more then others. At MY hospital, they do water births, have wireless monitoring, etc. If you refuse the monitors, that is your right, but do keep in mind the hospital has policies that are in place to also monitor baby and make sure he/she is still safe, so they may require like 15 min of monitoring every so many hours to make sure baby isn't going into distress.

I would also recommend if you are really leaning towards a new doc or midwife to go online to healthgrades.com (I think) and research your doctor first. They have patient reviews on there, say how long they've been in practice, and if they have any sanctions on their licence. I emphasise this because I didn't know my last OB had sanctions, and we didn't know the ICU doc that wanted to preform unneccessary surgery on my father had sanctions. Plus researching them (I think you can do the same for the hospital on those sites) kind of gives you a heads up and like a precursor of what to expect from that particular doctor or group.

Oh and I think if they do, do cervical checks, its usually just the last four weeks if you agree. I actually had frequent cervical checks due to preterm labor (like ever week or two). They wanted to check my cervical length (although I would think an ultrasound would have been better and less risky). For ME I found the cervical checks reassuring.
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Last edited by THE angry uterus; December 5th, 2011 at 07:57 PM.
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  #8  
December 5th, 2011, 07:58 PM
mshah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you so much!! I think what I'll do is research for an OB, then just go for an interview with them. Then maybe I can get a better idea if I want the hospital route or back with my midwife (who, dont get me wrong i absolutely LOVE).
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  #9  
December 5th, 2011, 07:58 PM
forest's Avatar Cara, Mom to two girls
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Both my births were in a hospital. The first was with an epidural and the second with no meds. I was very happy with both. I would start by doing some research on the hospital near you. You could look at c-section rates and maybe talk to some local doulas.

My hospital and doctor were great. I was able to do what I wanted at the hospital. I was really worried about a lot of things but never had any problems. (I was able to eat, walk around etc.) I told my doctor no cervix checks at my appointment and he never asked if I wanted one again.
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  #10  
December 5th, 2011, 08:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mshah View Post
Thank you so much!! I think what I'll do is research for an OB, then just go for an interview with them. Then maybe I can get a better idea if I want the hospital route or back with my midwife (who, dont get me wrong i absolutely LOVE).
You don't have to discount a midwife though! You can still have one and get an epidural. Good luck!
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  #11  
December 5th, 2011, 08:02 PM
mshah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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How long were you all able to be with your baby right after the birth before they whisked it away to be clean and suctioned and everything? Omair was never taken from me. He was never suctioned. Never had goop put in his eyes. Never any of that. I loved having him in my arms immediately and as long as I wanted. I washed him off myself. I bundled him up myself. And I nursed him as soon as he would latch. Do I get that at a hospital? Can I refuse the goop? Can I ask them to wait before they cut the cord? How does it all happen in hospitals? It it bright lights and lots of noise and stress? People in and out of the room while you labor?

And Jamie, where I'm at I cant have the midwife with me in the hospital. Well, I can have a doula, but once Im in the hospital a midwife cannot order medical stuff. Docs have full takeover. Hospitals here suck about that. So, I really cant have a midwife and an epidural And my insurance wont cover a doula.
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  #12  
December 5th, 2011, 08:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mshah View Post
How long were you all able to be with your baby right after the birth before they whisked it away to be clean and suctioned and everything? Omair was never taken from me. He was never suctioned. Never had goop put in his eyes. Never any of that. I loved having him in my arms immediately and as long as I wanted. I washed him off myself. I bundled him up myself. And I nursed him as soon as he would latch. Do I get that at a hospital? Can I refuse the goop? Can I ask them to wait before they cut the cord? How does it all happen in hospitals? It it bright lights and lots of noise and stress? People in and out of the room while you labor?
It depends on your hospital. You have the right to refuse the antibiotics in the eyes if you want. Where I am, I think they like to dry the baby so it wont get cold and start causing distress issues, but they wait and usually mom and dad do the first bath, sometimes nurse demonstrating it to mom and dad. As far as suctioning, they usually do that once the head is delivered, and just with the bulb syringe. USUALLY they just place baby on your chest, dry baby off, and depending on the hospital, they might really try to get you to do the Kangaroo care (the hopsital I did my OB clinicals at was HUGE on that!). They also really like to have you nurse baby ASAP or at least within that first hour after delivery. As far as the cord cutting, it would depend on the OB. You will have better luck with delayed cord cutting with a nurse-midwife. OB's are usually in and out. As far as how many people are in the room, I only once ever had a ton of ppl in my room and that was cause I think they called some sort of code on me cause #3 delivered so quickly and I wasn't seen by my doc first and she wasn't at the hospital. I think they just automatically had an OB team and a Peds team just in case. My last delivery I had two nurses (one for mom, one for baby) and my OB. I might have had a third nurse, but I'm not sure. They do have one bright light shining down on your vagina, but that's so they can see and make sure everything is going okay. Kind of like they do when you get a Pap. If you want most of the lights off, I don't think that is usually a problem.

As far as visitors, it will depend on the facility you deliver at. Some put restrictions in, other's aren't as strict. I think they worry mostly about germs being passed from visitors to patients, but also overcrowding in the room and distracting OB or something silly like that. The environment is mostly up to you. I always say NO STUDENTS on my forms so there aren't extra people in my room.
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  #13  
December 5th, 2011, 08:15 PM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
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Where do you live? Are you in the states? Many certified professional midwives cannot work in hospitals around here, but certified nurse midwife do have hospital privileges.

I agree with Jamie. She has given you good advice and words of confidence.
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  #14  
December 5th, 2011, 08:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mshah View Post
And my insurance wont cover a doula.
You might be able to get a discounted or free doula who is in training to get her certification or is just starting her buisness. I can't really afford one either, but I am thinking about going that route ust cause I don't want an epidural, but I keep getting them! LOL (Even when I'm at 9 cm and don't need one! lmao)
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  #15  
December 6th, 2011, 06:11 AM
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First, if you are given potocin (and you can only be given it with your permission) and the baby does not tolerate it, then it will be taken off. You will not be rushed to the OR. I had potocin on for about 5 second with my baby started to react adversely and they just turned it off and let me go at my own pace. Your Dr cannot administer any medication without your permission so just make sure you have a plan going into the birth and you will be fine. Just be strong and stick to what you want and you will be fine.
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  #16  
December 6th, 2011, 07:07 AM
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Many doula work for free or cheap when they start out (many times they just charge enough to cover their gas money, fees, and food while supporting you).

I'll tell you, and I know I'm bias, but doulas are worth the money. And I know that if someone ever tells me that they really want my support, but can't afford my fees, I do everything I can to work with them financially to make sure they have the support they want even if that means they pay a dollar a month for the rest of their lives.
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  #17  
December 6th, 2011, 07:12 AM
LadyBugMommyof1's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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What a tough decision.

Perhaps your midwife who you know and love has a docfor she works with or knows that she can recommend if you really know you want the epidural. Or...maybe she can have you on something like dilaudid or fentynal to take the edge off...I would probably start by taking to her. . Then, pending what she has to say....if it seems like you need a different provider, I would probably interview OB's and NP's who seem compatable with your wishes and values.
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  #18  
December 6th, 2011, 08:10 AM
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You can deny most things within reason. Eye goop and PKU is required by state law. If its not done at birth, it has to be done within certain time limits (48 hrs for eye goop and 7 days for PKU). Cervical checks, genetic testing/screening during pg, keeping baby wih you, etc is all fair game what mom wants.

I was induced (overdue). I shouldn't have been. Long story. Didn't request a natural birth friendly nurse who basically forced me into an epidural. Dd ended up in distress and was literally one push away for a c-sec.

That said I think we will deliver at a different hospital. I really want to go to the birth center, but with my loss history my birth plan is to take home a happy, healthy baby. I need the reassurance of physically being in the hospital.

I will say an epidural was NoT worth it! Mine worked, but I still felt everything. Basically, I hAd it so low it barely took the edge off. I delivered 2 hrs after the Epi, started pushing about an hour after it. So basically, it just got in and even and dd was born. The nurse said it wasn't even really "on".
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  #19  
December 6th, 2011, 08:15 AM
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Oh my hospital birth i think could have been a lot better with proper support! A doula will happen no matter what the cost. Dh and I are taking childbirth classes. We know more about what to expect , etc.

Ie: I'm measuring 3-4 days behind. Dd they refused to adjust my edd. This time, they pushed my due date back a week and am also measuring 3-4 days behind. I expect, if I was given the chance (again long story) I would have delivered within days. This time I expect no induction will be needed since I was progressing well without pitocin!
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  #20  
December 6th, 2011, 08:22 AM
Mamacc's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would go for the midwife in the hospital if you could, then you can have all the benefits of a midwife but get the epidural if you want it... At least you'll have the option. Personally I love midwives.

Plus, you really don't know that you'll have a long labor. Chances are it'll be shorter and the pushing part should be MUCH shorter. I went from a 30 hour labor with 1 1/2 hours pushing with my first, to a 5 hour labor with about 5 minutes of pushing with my 2nd. Both were natural births, no epi.
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