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Birth location, WWYD


Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
December 7th, 2011, 01:08 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,128
I'm torn. Its terrible.
I've been through so many first trimester losses. We have a HB, which I'm so thankful for and I can't wait until Monday for another u/s and praying for continued growth of this lil one. I'm trying to think about possible birth locations and I'm conflicted.

Let me preface: Due to my losses, all I want is to hold my living breathing baby. I don't "care" how s/he comes into this world as long as s/he is alive. No point of pregnancy is safe. And to be honest, until we have a cardiologist check out the baby I wont feel safe either.

DD's Birth History: I was induced. Had pitocin and was "forced" into an epidural (yes I signed consent, but to me I was given no other options and didn't have enough support to fight with the nurse as I was on the verge of passing out because I couldn't relieve pain from contracts while laying on my back). Due to the interventions, I feel like caused DD's heart rate to drop to a low of at least 54 BPM and did not recover very good between contractions and pushes. I was ONE PUSH away from an emergency c-section and were already making plans to transfer "just in case." They called in NICU as well. DH was obvious to this, but I wasn't. DD was born her Apgar scores were fine and she has been a happy healthy child, but was born with a heart defect that she'll have to have surgery for at some point in her life span. The doctors (incl. her cardiologist) feel like it was because of the interventions her heart rate dropped. They can not detect this defect by fetal echo. They can only rule out any serious problems (interrupted arch, major valve issues, etc).

This pregnancy: I feel high risk even though I'm not. I will have a fetal echo done at some point. We are doing u/s every 2 weeks for at least the first trimester. Going to do prenatals/visits more often throughout pregnancy. I feel better erring on the side of caution. My OB understands my losses, my fears, the trials, the joys, etc. So when I had my wisdom teeth out, I loved waking up and they were out and don't remember the numerous shots, cutting, sawing, drilling, stitching, etc. It was done. I took pain meds. I slept. On the surface, I feel like that towards birth. I just want the happy (hope) ending. I don't care to remember the details.

The problem and WWYD:

DD's birth was traumatic as best. I love my daughter to pieces, but I know that with my OB she is more medical management then natural-medicine if that makes sense. She is to a certain point, but when it comes to the end she's more about management. After all she is a doctor. Would you go to an oral surgeon for a dental cleaning? Nope. I kinda feel like with this OB, even though she's very popular in my area, she experienced loss also. She would rather medical management and practices more in fear - tries to maintain control if you want to say that. Which is how my old OB w/ DD was.

RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW - I don't care as long as the end result is a happy, healthy, living, breathing baby. However, this is our last. After DD's I really wanted a natural birth, in the tub if I so choose, go home ASAP, no fighting, in a home like environment, just peace. The birth center was my option. BUT, they don't have u/s technology. They have a 5% transfer rate for emergencies. They are also very skilled. Have faith in them. No questions asked. Whoever I see for prenatal care is who will delivery my baby...no questions asked. They have breathtaking birthing suites. I know I would have the BIRTH I want, even though I'm in survival mode.

I feel like I'm choosing a hospital out of fear and I don't like it. I feel like I'll regret it down the road, but right now it feels safe. Should I face my fears, choose the birth center once I know we're out of the first trimester or choose the hospital and just have a really good doula who can advocate and support DH and I.

BTW - the hospital we would deliver at is a different hospital then the one with DD. This new hospital is the best hospital in our city and county for a natural birth. If you want a natural birth at a hospital this is the one to go too. The birth center and hospital are the same distance. The midwife I would use is a CPM, CNM, RN -- very highly qualified. Considering majority of your labor is watched over by an RN I feel like she has a lot more experience/education. The hospital from the birth center is 15 minutes. Literally its just jumping on the highway from a different point. If I needed to transfer, I'd be within recommended limits. AND, with DD's history they are still very comfortable and don't consider me high risk due to my losses or DD's defect that is genetic.

I see pros and cons to both and I have no idea which to decide. But I know I need to make a decision soon which way to go!
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  #2  
December 7th, 2011, 01:40 PM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 6,191
It sounds like you would be in good hands either at the birth center or the hospital. I would go with the one you feel best in your gut about. And get a doula. A doula does wonders helping you work through the emotional trauma of previous experiences. I think that would be great for you!
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  #3  
December 7th, 2011, 02:45 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 7,896
I'm sorry your experience was so traumatic... It definitely makes it a tougher decision.

I really like the relaxed nature of the birthing center. I had 2 hospital births and 1 at a birthing center and I truly believe that my first 2 births would have been over the top great if they were in the birthing center as well (my hospital births weren't bad, but not what I wanted)

After talking to my midwife and getting to know her, as well as my new midwife, I had all the confidence in the world that she would bring my child and now this one into the world safely...

I think you would love a midwife birth... It is such a different experience all the way around...
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  #4  
December 7th, 2011, 03:28 PM
MissMeliss0522's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 972
My middle daughter was born with a VSD and we too have to have fetal echos done.

Your fears are completely valid and I understand why you are so torn. I would suggest, and this is only my opinion, you know what those are like LOL. That you contact, the birthing center your considering, as well as the OB of the hospital and the midwives and interview them. Present them with a scenario and ask them how they would proceed. It is us as pregnant women that put these people into their jobs. You would shop around for your car to make sure it is safe for you and your family under many difference circumstances. So why not the same with the individual who will deliver your baby?! You deserve the birth YOU want and you should feel safe and secure at the same time. I also would suggest getting a doula as well. Someone who knows what your plan is, and can advocate for you.
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  #5  
December 7th, 2011, 03:40 PM
PredonioussMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Okotoks Alberta
Posts: 1,556
i agree with what everyone has already posted, is your SO ( Dh) coming to the birth with you ( some get squeamish ) and make sure he knows how you feel about everything aswell, if you need to have a COmplete birth plan ( but be flexible as asll you want is healthy and happy)

With our experience ( we had two choices for our next little one(s) and we were asked ( well i was) and i made the choice for us, The one hospital we could choose was IN a small town and can only do the best birth possibnle( well we had them last time until 20 weeks and then were transfered to where we delivered ( the small hopital albeit very intimatee to what you want how you want to labour Blah blah blha) they scarred the absolute poop out of us, i said there is no way in Hockey i would go back there even for prenatal! I chose the big city hospital as no matter what they could take care of us all safely!!!! we also made sure we advocated for what we wanted, my SO knew exactly how i wanted to do things and thankfully we had a fab nurse who made everything come true that we wanted ( as natural as possible , laboured at home as long as possible, and breastfeed asap after birth and to do kangaroo care and to never have her leave us EVER( unless medicallly nec. ) and well thats exactly what we got, the only time our babe left the room and she was still in the same room just in the hall part of my private room was to get her bllood drawn and my SO seen her the whole time)

Well a long story short ( wow that was alot) just advocate for what YOU and Yours want!!!!! which ever you choose for you will be the best choice!!!! just speak your mind or have hubby do it for ya, or ( if you can afford it, have a doula!!!!)
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  #6  
December 7th, 2011, 10:12 PM
LadyBugMommyof1's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 7,211
Honestly, I would probably err on the side of caution and go with the hospital just because of the advanced care facilities and pediatricians that are there in the NICU.

With DD, we chose between a smaller hospital that mostly midwives deliver at BUT only had a ICN rated to 36 weeks... The other option (and the one we chose) was a larger teaching hospital with a full NICU and 5-8 Pediatricians in facility at all time. We will chose this route again (in light of the fact I'm having twins and DD was severely jaundiced from an ABO incompatiblility in which she started to hemalize...)

With any history of heart problems...I'd be more cautious. In the end, it's about a healthy, happy baby.
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  #7  
December 8th, 2011, 04:36 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,128
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyBugMommyof1 View Post
Honestly, I would probably err on the side of caution and go with the hospital just because of the advanced care facilities and pediatricians that are there in the NICU.

With DD, we chose between a smaller hospital that mostly midwives deliver at BUT only had a ICN rated to 36 weeks... The other option (and the one we chose) was a larger teaching hospital with a full NICU and 5-8 Pediatricians in facility at all time. We will chose this route again (in light of the fact I'm having twins and DD was severely jaundiced from an ABO incompatiblility in which she started to hemalize...)

With any history of heart problems...I'd be more cautious. In the end, it's about a healthy, happy baby.
Grrr....I forgot about abo incompatability. Type a is dominate over type o. Chances are this babe will be a also. Is your dd ok? Did it take her a long time to recover? I remember them testing dd frequently. But she was fine thank god!

I will be using a doula. Worth every penny. I'm actually calling and hope to meet with one lady next week. Super experienced and training to be a midwife so I'm crossing fingers! She actually suggested another practice, so I'm going to check into them but deliver at the same hospital as the current Ob/gyn. And it's midwives backed by ob's so it might be the best of both worlds.

It's so hard when on the surface you Are in survival mode. Deep down I do want a healing experience and my baby safe.
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