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Venting over "dear" DH


Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By Bobb
  • 1 Post By lovemyleah

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  #1  
February 5th, 2012, 09:40 AM
Bobb's Avatar Veteran
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This pregnancy I've been feeling worse than with my first one. Everybody is telling me how pale I look, how skinny I am. I've been measuring my weight, I put on NO weight until now. Last Saturday I had 53 kilos with jeans and blouse on and yesterday 53.2 kg. I have a sensitive "dog nose", I get nauseaus very often and especially when I wake up from my nap. And today was worse, my in-laws smoked like locomotives so my stomach is sooo upset right now. I cannot eat, I barely had some mashed potatoes for dinner (DH cooked). He wanted me to eat more, to eat meat and some mushrooms but I just couldn't. I opened the fridge and I almost puked inside. I pulled myself away gagging and that's when DH snapped at me, calling me a fake and such a diva... I almost burst into tears and left the kitchen angry. It's not the first time he's making fun of me or calling me fake, he says I am lazy and I just couldn't wait to get pregnant so I can act like a drama-queen.
I told him crying last night how sick I can get and how upset he gets me when he makes fun of me and doesn't believe that what I'm going through is not serene and happy, for me now it's a struggle to pull myself through each day without reaching the puke point. I am so upset and angry with him, I feel like abandoned

I told him just now I won't talk to him anymore, because he's such a jerk. I am giving him away...really!!!
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  #2  
February 5th, 2012, 09:47 AM
pauriemmo's Avatar Veteran
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Wow! That's terrible! I sort of wear the pants, so my DH knows that if were to say something upsetting to me, he would be on the couch
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  #3  
February 5th, 2012, 09:58 AM
proudmomtoEthan's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That is just not right, my dh would be on the couch if he ever did that. Big hugs sweetie, I hope the ms lets up a little for you.
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  #4  
February 5th, 2012, 09:58 AM
Blessed Mommy Of 5's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry! That is so insensitive of him. I would definitely have been in tears. I cry so easily right now; that would have pushed me to the sobbing point I am sure. Maybe you could get him the expecting daddy book? Would he read it? I'm sorry you had to go through that I hope he becomes more sensitive to your pregnancy and your needs!
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  #5  
February 5th, 2012, 10:14 AM
Bobb's Avatar Veteran
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I put on a long angry face, sucking my tears and looking away from him. And he switched attitudes, I think he realizes he was wrong cause he's nagging me right now : "what are you doing there? do you want a tea? do you want to kiss the cat together?". I just tell him: leave me alone, I'm not talking to you !
Next time he asks how I feel I'll just lie or shut up. I really can't stand him when he's calling me a "fake". At least he should understand I am so sensitive and emotional right now and he should play it safe and at least keep his distance.

We're switching pants in our family.
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  #6  
February 5th, 2012, 12:23 PM
lovemyleah's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow. I would like to see a man handle a pregnancy for even one week...the first trimester at that. This is a tough time, and the men can suck it. I'm sorry, but I would have gone off if my man said that to me. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Know you are not alone though...I am nauseous all the time, and can barely eat. Meat is out of the question. As a suggestion, does fruit sound good to you? Sometimes just a strawberry applesauce or yogurt is enough to curb hunger and make me feel better for a minute.
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  #7  
February 5th, 2012, 01:25 PM
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I am so sorry. It is so hard to got get the support and love you need right now. I hope you feel better soon too!
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  #8  
February 5th, 2012, 01:52 PM
Shantastic27's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yikes, I would be so mad!! I don't think men truly ever understand what we go through, but I'm glad my dh is sympathetic and supportive. I hope yours comes around.
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  #9  
February 5th, 2012, 03:04 PM
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What a jerk! Sometimes I just don't think men understand how ****** the 1st trimester can be. Try not to let him hurt you hon. *hugs*
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  #10  
February 5th, 2012, 03:18 PM
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Sorry Hun.... Smetimes guys just suck
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  #11  
February 5th, 2012, 07:42 PM
InnocentDevil's Avatar Super Mommy
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Wow... That sucks. it's even worse when you feel alone when someone is right there with you, but won't even try to be sympathetic. I'm sorry your husband is being a jerk.
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  #12  
February 5th, 2012, 07:52 PM
JulieMc's Avatar Loving my babies. :)
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Men are lame. They don't have the slightest friggin idea of what its like to be pregnant. They'd cry after two hours, and confine themselves to bed permanently after a week, expecting to be waited on hand and food.

Sorry he's being an ***.
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  #13  
February 5th, 2012, 11:04 PM
Bobb's Avatar Veteran
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Thanks for the support, you guys! I knew I'd find kind words here since my hubby's good sense is on vacation sometimes

Last night he tried to patch things up since I was giving him the cold shoulder, he was tucking me in, calling me "beautiful" (I look like a cabbage, really), poking the belly to check on "our little dragon" ...aaa, so he can be cute and cuddly!!

In the morning I feel ok, no m/s, no nausea, nothing. But the sickness kicks in in the afternoon+evening, when I'm at home. I can understand he's tired of me blowing him off, refusing to eat what he cooks (he does help me a lot in the house), crying a lot and sometimes over nothing!! but like I told him last again I can't help it if I feel like crap most of the time and these raging hormones aren't helping at all

P.S. I did kiss him this morning when I left for work, though !
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  #14  
February 6th, 2012, 06:19 AM
RunningMommyTo5's Avatar Marathoning Mom to 4!
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I'm so sorry!!! I am glad that he seems to realize that he was wrong. Maybe have a serious talk with him and lay out some dos and don'ts for pregnancy, for the benefit of both of you and your relationship. Like, if he asks you how you feel, you will be honest, and he needs to be sympathetic and ask what he can do to help you, make you feel better, or what he can do for you. No kidding, no joking, etc. while you're gagging, throwing up,and ONLY when you're in the appropriate mood for joking. Make sure he knows you're too sensitive for that right now.

My DH is a bit of a joker, too, but I think the only reason he isn't giving me a hard time right now is that he's seen me through 3 other pregnancies that haven't been this bad. He's never seen me this sick and not being able to eat or keep stuff down for this long in a pregnancy, so he knows it's serious. If it weren't for that, he'd be trying to "joke" with me, too, all the time. He has said, "oh, you're being dramatic...suck it up.." but then quickly says he's kidding and asks what he can do. He's learned when NOT to say that stuff to me, when I'm really sick and would hit him if he did, LOL.

Hope your DH learns quickly, and just as importantly, I hope you start to feel better quickly!
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