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Well my idea for a reveal party


Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By mommyto2littlegirlies
  • 1 Post By 3Sapphires
  • 2 Post By MrsTiffy
  • 1 Post By 3Sapphires
  • 1 Post By Starstrydergrrl

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  #1  
April 4th, 2012, 06:05 AM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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went up in smoke.

I swear one of these days I am going to get it through my thick skull to stop trying with DH's family. They don't like us, and never have, and me having babies isn't going to change that.

I asked both MIL/FIL, BIL and wife if they would want to come down for a small party at some point after my u/s. I did not give a definite date, or even a general weekend.

But the response from both of them is that they are busy that weekend.

Then I found out that MIL is having SIL, and BIL & wife, and her brother and his family up for Easter. Were we invited? of course not...
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  #2  
April 4th, 2012, 06:07 AM
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That really sucks. I'm sorry that they are treating you so poorly. I would be upset about being left out for Easter. Have you tried to talk to them about it?
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  #3  
April 4th, 2012, 06:09 AM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsTiffy View Post
That really sucks. I'm sorry that they are treating you so poorly. I would be upset about being left out for Easter. Have you tried to talk to them about it?
yes, several times over the last 13 years. We are by far not the favorite. I should just get used to it. But it still hurts.
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  #4  
April 4th, 2012, 06:11 AM
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Wow, I have no words. I am so sorry they are so blatantly rude to you and your family. I can not imagine how this has to make you feel. What does your husband have to say about not getting invited to Easter? Is he one who just shrugs his shoulders and doesn't care? I'm not one to bend over and take it, so I would have to let them know what I thought about their behavior. Whew. I'm so sorry!
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  #5  
April 4th, 2012, 06:13 AM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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he has accepted his family being awful a long time ago, I'm the one who can't get over it.

He is the one who keeps telling me we are better off on our own, and we will have more fun just the 4 of us anyway.

I need to figure out how to be more like him.
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  #6  
April 4th, 2012, 06:24 AM
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Honestly if they have been treating you this way for this long then I would follow your dh's advice. I would just cut all contact with them, and just leave them out of everything you guys do. I don't see anything happening after 13 years to make them change. You have put up with it a lot longer than I would. I would just say enough is enough, and move on with your life. If they decide at some point that they want to be included in your lives then you can re-evaluate. Personally I think it would bring a lot of peace to you if you just removed them completely from your lives.
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  #7  
April 4th, 2012, 06:27 AM
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that does sound nice - but then I would be stuck for a baby sitter when baby comes.

They are the closest "family" we have here. And they are 2 hours away.

I have to keep trying until at least baby arrives.
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  #8  
April 4th, 2012, 06:37 AM
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*hugs* I know how you feel, we too are the second rate citizens. Never mind that we are the only ones that gave them grandkids...

I agree though, forget about them (I am still trying mind you lol and it has only been 15 years) and plan a super fantastic Easter weekend.
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  #9  
April 4th, 2012, 06:50 AM
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Jakkie, I am glad I am not alone! It is so hard to give up when you want to have a relationship with someone. bleh....
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  #10  
April 4th, 2012, 07:02 AM
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I'm sorry your ILs are treating you like this, and to leave you out at Easter? Wow. That's just plain wrong. Too bad you couldn't just find someone else to watch your boys while you have the baby and cut them out completely. They don't deserve you or your children in their lives.

I have a sister that I have been wanting to cut out of my life for a long while and my family seems to always find a way not to make that happen. I'm so uncomfortable around her, and it just makes it worse when being around her is almost forced upon me. I don't deny her access/relationship with my daughter, but she's always been almost jealous of me my entire life, thus making her mean in a sense (she's in her 50s, I'm 34, I wonder if she suffers from middle-child syndrome coming from a family of 7). Anyway, not to thread jack, but I hate family drama. Your husband is probably right: if his family does not want a relationship with your children, that is their loss and YOU are better off. Hugs. I hope one day things work out.
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  #11  
April 4th, 2012, 07:11 AM
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Wow. I'm sorry I can't imagine. My ILs are...nuts. But they are not mean, and they love us and our son very much (sometimes too much...enter the craziness). I'm sorry you have to go through that. I can't imagine not being invited to a family Easter or them having no interest in your baby's gender.
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  #12  
April 4th, 2012, 07:22 AM
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Isn't there anyone else you know? Someone from church, choir, etc. that would watch your boys? If I were you, I would do everything I could to cut ties. They may actually get the hint if they're even left out of the birth, and opportunity to spend time with their grandkids. They may not, but at least you wouldn't be bending over backwards so you could have them around when you need them, you could really let them know that YOU don't need THEM.
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  #13  
April 4th, 2012, 07:41 AM
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unfortunately, everyone we know down here is either a teacher or school bus driver, and baby is due a few weeks after school starts. I don't really have anyone else to rely on.

My mom said she might be able to make it, but she would have to fly in, and I just don't think I can count on that.
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  #14  
April 4th, 2012, 08:22 AM
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My husbands family is the same way. They don't care for me(never have because I'm almost 10 yrs younger than DH and they're judgemental. They never thought it would work. It's been almost 16 years....time to get over it.), and they have never been happy about kids. Most of his siblings chose not to have kids as not to affect their money and party life. They ignore us most of the time(the rest of them get together and don't tell us....we usually find out through friends, or accident), even when we call, but when Thanksgiving and Christmas roll around they want to play family so they can look good. This past year I refused to cooperate. I will not teach my kids to play family once or twice a year, and that it's okay to be ignored the rest of it. They are worth love at all times of the year. His family doesn't even know I'm pregnant, and we have no plans to tell them.
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  #15  
April 4th, 2012, 08:26 AM
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I'm sorry Ami, that is so terrible that you guys have to feel left out like that! I can't believe that they don't consider inviting you for Easter. It's not only hurtful to you, but to the boys. How awful of them...
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  #16  
April 4th, 2012, 09:22 AM
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Booooo!! And big hugs!
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  #17  
April 4th, 2012, 09:24 AM
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I think she feels that I stole her "little boy", maybe yours has the same idea...these ladies make it difficult for outside ladies to fit in.
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  #18  
April 4th, 2012, 09:37 AM
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I am so sorry Ami! That is just awful. I agree that they do not deserve you and your children in their lives at all. I understand that you need them to watch over your boys while giving birth, but after that you should truly consider cutting them off completely. It is very unfair to you, to have to feel hurt and left out time and time again.

**HUGS**
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  #19  
April 4th, 2012, 11:03 AM
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That's so sad for you and your boys! But you seem like such a great mom and person, I'm sure you guys will have a wonderful Easter without them. I'm sorry they are being so difficult to be around, but I applaud you for being so diligent in your tries. Sounds like DH has the right idea, you guys have more fun as your family of 4 (soon to be 5!) anyways!
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