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Gender Disappointment?


Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
April 6th, 2012, 05:28 PM
KrystalB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Now that some of you are (or have in previous pregnancies) found out the gender of your baby, have you experienced gender disappointment?

With DS, we found out the gender and I immediately felt disappointed. I don't know if I was disappointed in myself for finding out and not waiting (but I really, really wanted to know!) or if I was disappointed that I wasn't pregnancy with a girl (as I had been hoping for a girl).

I totally feel terrible even typing that out. I absolutely adore my little boy and can't imagine my life with a girl right now.

Anyway, this time around, I really don't feel the need to find out. I'll be happy with a boy since DS can have a brother, and I'll be happy with a girl because then I'd have one of each.

Dh really wants to find out. He says we can clear out all of the boy's clothes we've been holding onto (which is a LOT!) I think I'd like the experience of the surprise in the delivery room. And, I don't want to feel disappointed like I did last time.

Ugh. Just curious if anyone else went through something similar?
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  #2  
April 6th, 2012, 06:28 PM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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yes.

I was slightly disappointed when I found out DS#1 was a boy, but I figured, next time I'll get my girl.

I cried after I found out DS#2 was a boy.

Of course now I wouldn't trade them for anything!

But I am trying to convince myself I am going to be ok with boy #3. I don't find out for a few more weeks, but I am trying to get myself ready.
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  #3  
April 6th, 2012, 06:42 PM
MrsB1227's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I felt some disappointment when I found out baby #2 was another boy. I had planned on only two babies and wanted one of each. I have my moments when I see cute girl clothes and get sad that i wont have a little girl, but I guess this just means there will probably be a third baby in my future! Lol
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  #4  
April 6th, 2012, 06:49 PM
2Reasons2Smile's Avatar Love my little family <3
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I have two boys already and am very much hoping for a girl this time around but am convinced its another boy. I am not sure if its because I am trying to set myself up not to be dissapointed if indeed baby turns out to be a boy this time as this is 100% for sure our last baby. We find out the 17th if baby cooperates.
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  #5  
April 7th, 2012, 07:10 AM
momma_d's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I felt the way you do about the 2nd time around. I was thinking that a baby girl would be awesome because DD would have a sister (which she wants so badly) and for convenience sakes we could get use out of all the girl stuff we have saved from DD which would save us a ton of money.

On the flip side, a boy would be awesome, and I really do want DH to have a son some day and I know he really wants one. So it was a bizarre feeling when I found out this baby is a girl and I was elated about it, but feeling sad about not having a boy at the same time, I can't even describe the feeling, it is like when you are crying and laughing at the same time and have no idea why!
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  #6  
April 7th, 2012, 07:16 AM
squiligi's Avatar Veteran
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I cried when I found out I was having a boy. My husband has one of each already from a previous relationship. I'm starting to feel better. I know once I see him, I'll fall in love. I'm SUPER close to my mom and want that with a daughter.
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  #7  
April 7th, 2012, 08:49 AM
morethanamom4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We were incredibly disappointed when DD3's sex was revealed. We literally moped out of the radiology room and just sat saddened in our car for a bit. But we eventually got over it (I had to mourn the "loss" of the idea of a boy at the time. It was hard for me to handle) and were over the moon about her.

This time we were prepared for another girl and were so thrilled when the tech said boy. But we would have been happy either way, truly, this time.
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  #8  
April 7th, 2012, 01:16 PM
curlygirl77's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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i have never uad a preference either way of which gender i had. having said that, my kids went boy, girl, boy, girl! so maybe if i had had say three boys i would uave been disappointed with a fourth boy, i don't really know. this is my fifh, and last, and i am planning on staying team green if i can so i can have that final surprise in the delivery room i am a little curious if i will follow my previous pattern though.. if so i am due a boy this time, so we will see if this one breaks the chain
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  #9  
April 7th, 2012, 01:39 PM
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We are also only having 2 kids so this is it...I mentioned in another thread that we weren't able to find out the gender a few days ago, but the u/s specialist originally thought boy...and both my husband and I felt some disapointment. I know we will be over-the-moon with a boy, but if we find out the baby is a boy for sure, I know we will take awhile to be happy. Otoh, if we find out its another girl, I think we will both be happy immediately, because that's what we already know and want her to have a sister.

But sometimes I think it'll be so nice to have a son...lol so either way I'll be happy.
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  #10  
April 7th, 2012, 02:42 PM
amazing_love's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We find out on monday. I'm afraid i'll have some disappointment if i find out its a boy. I know another boy would be wonderful but i've been feeling like its a girl this entire pregnancy. In the beginning i honestly didn't feel like i had any preference but through time i've been imagining certain scenarios with a baby girl, always picturing my son having a baby sister come September and myself going out and buying some cute girl clothes to celebrate right after i find out the gender. These thoughts i believe are what is making me now hope for a girl. I know if its a boy i'll be thrilled in no time, i'll just have to re-train my brain to be excited about a boy instead of a girl.

One other reason is we only want 3 kids so if this one is a girl i know i'll be able to relax and not care at all about the gender of our 3rd. But ultimately i trust God and know His plans are far more important than my desires. That doesn't make it wrong to feel disappointed and mourn the loss of that dream (i believe it was Katie who put it that way).
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  #11  
April 7th, 2012, 03:49 PM
JennaBee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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With my first I really wanted a boy but as we walked into the scan I thought I would like a girl so finding out she was a girl wasn't an issue for me, DH on the other hand took it realllly hard. He had his heart set on a boy so badly. It took him a while to come to terms but eventually he fully embraced it. With DD2 again hoping for a boy but I had a feeling the entire time she was a girl. DH took it better and he was happy DD1 would have a sister close in age (20 months apart by 1 day ). The part that upset us was that we were team green until 27 weeks when a tech slipped and told us she was a girl. The lady felt horrible but I was pretty crushed because I wanted that "surprise". DD3 was a surprise and a miracle all together so we were blessed just to have carried her as long as we did (grew her wings at 15 weeks). Knowing we had been "outed" for gender in the past we quickly decided to find out what we were having.
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  #12  
April 7th, 2012, 05:40 PM
KrystalB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm wondering which is better... to do the gender scan and find out so if I have gender disappointment, I'll have time to get over it...

OR.. wait until delivery day.. and then if I have gender disappointment, I'll be holding a sweet baby in my arms so it won't matter as much.

Either way.. I'm really not sure if I'll even have the same disappointment like I had last time. Because, like I said, I'd be happy with a boy so DS can have a brother and I'd be happy with a girl so I can have one of each. (Although I agree with PP that mentioned having the daughter-mother bond would be awesome. I'm also kind of nervous that DH might have trouble "bonding" with a girl.)

Anyway, I guess time will tell...
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  #13  
April 8th, 2012, 04:51 PM
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We really wanted this baby to be a boy. We already have an older daughter, and this will be our last child, so we wanted one of each.
My intuition had been telling me baby was a girl from the start so I was somewhat prepared. Despite this, I was really upset for a few hours after the scan when we found out we're carrying a girl. OH wasn't as upset as me, though. I wasn't upset because I was having another daughter, I was upset because of the realisation that I'd never have a son. I think that's the main thing to consider.
Anyway, I'm feeling a lot more positive about the situation now. I'm looking forward to having two little ladies!
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  #14  
April 8th, 2012, 10:09 PM
proudmomtoEthan's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would like another boy, I want ds to have a brother. Someone he can be close with and share things with. If this a girl Iwill still be very happy and they hopefully will have that strong bond. I can't see getting disappointment with whatever this little bean is. I mean it's a 50/50 chance no matter what. I understand it can be heartbreaking to not have what you have been dreaming for tho.i've always wanted 5 kids but I had to come to terms on only 2, which really sucked to work through that.
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