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Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
April 20th, 2012, 01:37 PM
Moldovandish's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So DH's grandma decided that our boy's first name should be her deceased son't name (DH's dad who just died in December). We were considering using his name as the middle name, but not the first name. She's "threatening" that we won't get any of her estate if we don't name him the way she wants. Are you kidding me???
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  #2  
April 20th, 2012, 01:45 PM
InnocentDevil's Avatar Super Mommy
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Tell her too bad and you don't want her estate. It's your baby, not hers.
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  #3  
April 20th, 2012, 01:49 PM
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She'd have to get over it because no one names our babies but dh and I. And forcing you and practically trying to coerce you into doing it? Ridiculous old biddy!
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  #4  
April 20th, 2012, 01:50 PM
amazing_love's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That is just wrong! Definitely don't let her or anyone else pressure you into naming YOUR child anything other than what you want. If you want to use it as a MN then by all means go for it but i don't think you should have to use it at all if you don't want to! My FIL passed away right after DH and I met. I wouldn't at all mind naming one of our sons after him except i quite dislike his name so no way am i naming our child something just to have them named after him. Maybe if he had a better name. haha. Anyway, don't let anyone pressure you!!!
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  #5  
April 20th, 2012, 01:55 PM
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That is nuts. Everyone gets to name their own baby. Names are very important to me and there is no way I would let anyone pressure me. I think using it as a middle name would be a fine way to honor him without taking away your right to name your own child...and you aren't even obligated to do that!
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  #6  
April 20th, 2012, 02:32 PM
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If any of my family tried that, I'd end up naming the baby something else just to spite them.
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  #7  
April 20th, 2012, 02:40 PM
InnocentDevil's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nroundtr View Post
if any of my family tried that, i'd end up naming the baby something else just to spite them.
me too!!!
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  #8  
April 20th, 2012, 02:49 PM
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What's your DH think about that?
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  #9  
April 20th, 2012, 02:55 PM
Moldovandish's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh, he was mad and hang up on her I told him we shouldn't tell any of our family members any other name ideas and just name him whatever we decide when he's born and everyone can deal with it!
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  #10  
April 20th, 2012, 03:06 PM
MrsB1227's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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How big is the estate? Lol
In all seriousness, it's pretty crappy you are being put in this situation. Maybe another family member can talk some sense into her.
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  #11  
April 20th, 2012, 03:39 PM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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that is really $*&^'y to bully someone like that... she sounds like my in-laws, but worse!
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  #12  
April 20th, 2012, 04:13 PM
one.juniper's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That's crazy talk. What's your husbands mom think of this?

Elderly people tend to lose their ability to filter themselves, she probably doesn't even realize she's being rude.
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  #13  
April 20th, 2012, 04:14 PM
Blessed Mommy Of 5's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That is wrong in every sense! Wow.
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  #14  
April 20th, 2012, 04:47 PM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree that elderly people tend to have reduced capacity to pay attention to their social filter....
I would think that when the little one comes along she'll be so in love she won't punish you for not honoring her wishes....I hope not, espicially if its a really big estate....LOL.
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  #15  
April 20th, 2012, 08:21 PM
OatmealKisses's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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CRAZY!

We have been having sorta problems like that, but not on that scale.
I wouldn't talk to her again.
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  #16  
April 20th, 2012, 08:36 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Tell her to keep it. What a lame thing to do.
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  #17  
April 20th, 2012, 11:48 PM
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Well, don't rush, you guys. If you want to have it as middle name it's not an old ugly name, right ?
I say you accept the offer (considering the estate is REALLY an estate and not small change). You keep both names and just call the baby by the name you chose, not her. It's only paperwork. I would take the offer if I were sure the old lady isn't planting more of her conditions on me. If you feel this is the beginning of a long list of demands, just ^**( that.
Please don't rush to punch me in the head for accepting the barter. I have 2 big reasons to say yes :
1. I have two names, one I hate, one I love. I always introduce myself by my chosen name and most people don't even know I have an ugly name in my ID card. The ugly name is the first.
2. We don't have either money either the promise of an estate, so I'd be willing to bend a little if I would get the money I dream of to move out of my in-laws apartment and have our countryside house, a little farm where we could have a healthier lifestyle as opposed to the big city life.
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  #18  
April 21st, 2012, 05:46 AM
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With our first two DSs we gave them their middle names after people like DS#1's middle name is after DH, then the other two have middle names after my dad and Dh's dad. We named DS#3, Vincenzo and although I love the name I figured he would be able to go by Vinny and never have to put his full name BUT he will for school. I found this out recently that in AT LEAST kindergarten that he will have to go by and write out his full first name.. he can't go by Vinny. I love Vincenzo (it was after DH's grandpa who passed days after we found out I was pregnant) but I didn't want him to have to write out his full name, especially since our last name is 10 letters. I think if you want to honor someone by giving your child their name (either as their first or middle) it should be up to you, no one else. I don't think it's right for you to be bullied into it. We aren't well off where we can just go buy our dream home right now (not that we could right now because we move too much with the military anyways) but I wouldn't be willing to bow down to someone over money. Then you are also bending to someone's will and waiting for them to die to get your "reward" which seems morbid.
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  #19  
April 21st, 2012, 08:54 AM
Moldovandish's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well, we hear that the estate is pretty large, but we don't think she necessarily can change what happens to it because DH's dad before he died signed for his share to go to his children, so I don't know tha she can trump that.

We don't really want to tell MIL about this because she would be really mad. She doesn't like grandma and would have a fit if she heard what she said.

DH talked to his aunt(grandma's daughter) yesterday and she was trying to explain grandma's feelings in saying that she lost a son and we concieved so soon after he died and she feels really strongly about the child having his name or at least something that starts with the same letter - I. I can't think of anything that we like that starts with an I for a boy.

I still don't understand why she feels so offended if we used it as the middle name. She said it wouldn't matter at all.
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  #20  
April 22nd, 2012, 03:27 PM
morethanamom4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That's really rude of her, especially to use money as a means of getting her way on a baby's name.

Couldn't you just name him what you like and tell her the baby's name is the one she likes anyway? lol j/k...sort of haha.
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