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First of all, I just want to say that although I am not exactly a new member, I think with the exception of my initial introduction, this is the first time I posted.
Just to give you a little background information. I am currently due with my second child (Not sure on the gender as the tech couldn't tell) on September 5th. My first pregnancy was great, with the exception of a little fatigue in the first trimester. At this point in my pregnancy 5 years ago, I have never felt better. The only complaint I had during the whole pregnancy was probably the last 3 weeks, my feet were quite sore at the end of the day. I heard about pregnancy hormones however I didn't seem to be affected by any of it.
This pregnancy was very much a planned pregnancy. After trying for 6 months, my husband and I found out in December that we would be expecting and at that time, we both couldn't have been happier. My 5 year old was a "surprise" so this was quite a different reaction.
My first three months were like many other pregnant women..... just horrible. Terrible morning sickness this time around and extreme fatigue. It was hard to remain excited however I kept reminding myself that in 3 months, all would be well.
Well, it hasn't been great. The morning sickness as subsided and the fatique has decreased however I still don't feel myself. I feel sad a lot of the times and have anxiety about everything. I have gained more weight than I should have and when I look in the mirror, I look fat and not not pregnant. My Dr. keeps telling me to walk for 20 min a day.. I try to do 10 and then I get so tired and want to go home for a nap. I am increasingly sensitive to everything... and I mean everything. I keep saying to my friends that my hormones are out of whack however I can't help to think that it is something more. I don't feel excited about the arrival of our child. I walk past children clothing stores and specifically the the infant section, not even taking a second look. The first time around, I could spend hours just looking at them. Work is such a challange as I work in a position where I assist primarily sales people and have to have "thick skin"... I have worked in this position for the past 10 years however people say the littlest negative thing, and I burst into tears.
I am having difficulty sleeping at night and I don't want to see any family or friends. I have trouble getting my 4 year old ready for bed... Thank goodness for my super supportive husband who has picked up the slack. I have a doctors appt in the am and I am prepared to tell him how I am feeling however I am a little embaressed. I know there isn't anything to be embarressed about however that is just who I am. I have a hard time expressing my feelings.
Just wondering if any of you other Moms to be out there has experienced anything similar. Any feedback and/or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks Everyone... (sorry for rambling on so long..)
You could have just described me exactly! I wanted this baby...we tried for almost a year before getting pregnant. I will be at the half way point tomorrow. I though I would feel better after weeks of not being able to get off the couch from being so sick, but I just can't seem to get excited or happy about this pregnancy. With my other pregnancies I was always SO HAPPY and super excited...but this time I cry at everything. It's also been 5 years for me since I've done this so I don't know if it's my age or just hormones or what. I am hoping that our next ultrasound will help pull me out of my funk and get me excited. I don't even care girl or boy, I just want to hear "healthy" and know everything is ok.
I hope you get to feel better and start to enjoy your pregnancy too Keep us updated on what your dr says when you talk to them tomorrow.
First of all, big hugs to you. It must be terrible knowing that you don't feel the way you want to feel. But I'd say its a really good thing that you can recognize it and hopefully talking to your doctor will get you the help you need to feel better.
This was a very planned pregnancy for me, too, but it has been different from the first. I think already having a child that you are tending to makes it more difficult to "focus" on this new baby. I was having major guilt feelings in the beginning because i just didn't feel like I was connecting with this new life inside of me. With my first baby, I was over the moon all the time. With this pregnancy, sometimes I would almost forget I was pregnant. I finally chalked it up to being so busy with the first baby that it was just going to be a different experience.
I will say that after I found out the gender, it was much easier for me to connect and get very excited. The baby went from being a he or she to knowing she was a girl, deciding a name, etc.
I hope your doctor can help you out so you can enjoy the remainder of the pregnancy. Don't feel embarrassed about bringing it up. They are there to help you and will probably respect you more for having the courage to bring it up instead of trying to ignore it and being miserable. Feel free to post on here whenever you want. This is a great and supportive group of ladies!
I felt this way with my second. I also felt the guilt a previous poster felt- I spent many nights crying to my husband that we were ruining DD1's life, that she was going to think she wasn't enough for us, that I could never love another child like this one. What I finally realized (when DD2 was probably 18 months old!) is that it's all normal. If I start to feel that way now, I give myself permission to do it for a little while, then remind myself that I KNOW this is pregnancy hormones, and normal me wouldn't think this way. I don't know if that makes sense, but it helps.
I hope you start feeling better soon. Sometimes doing a little nesting, even if you don't feel like it, helps. Fake it until you make it, you know? ;-)
I have experienced what you described in a previous pregnancy and even somewhat in this pregnancy. I just want to say that you have no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed. I agree that maybe a little nesting would help out. I have felt myself leaning toward questioning why DH and I decided to have another baby and I have done little things to remind me that this baby is wanted and everything is going to be okay. I have really struggled with the weight gain this time around as well.
So, you already had your anatomy scan and the tech was unable to tell the baby's gender? Will you get another u/s at any point soon? I think that maybe if you knew the baby's gender it could help you bond with the baby. Even though you aren't feeling baby clothes and baby item shopping; it could actually help your mood. Maybe you could try buying a few items (even if it is just a few gender neutral clothing items) and set them somewhere that you see them at least on a daily basis.
When I am feeling emotional and overwhelmed with this whole thing it makes me feel better when I see the baby items I have purchased. I have all of the baby outfits, diapers, wipes, diaper bag, and small baby things in my room where I can see them often (we don't have extra room for a nursery at this point). I also put all of my u/s pics in a small photo album so that I can look at them easily. The baby's profile photo is the wallpaper on my cellphone.
Just little things that help me feel connected
I hope you start to feel better soon. Please keep us updated.
Thanks everyone for the support and encouraging words.
Just wanted to give you all a little follow-up. I went to my Doctors appt. this am and told him how I was feeling. He immediately told me that they had a social worker onsite who helps pregnant women with these issues. He first assured me that this is extremely common and happens in approx 1 in 10 women. I did get to meet with the social worker who was absolutely incredible. She let me tell her how I was feeling and let me know that what I was feeling is very normal. I will be meeting with her on a weekly basis during the remainder of my pregnancy. Just speaking with her, made me feel better. She kept reminding me that it will probably be a long 4 months however there is a light at the end of the tunnel. In 90% of the cases once the baby arrives, you will start to feel better.
I actually have a 3D ultrasound booked for this coming weekend. I am hoping this will help me bond more with my baby when I find out the gender. Also, on my ultrasound last month, the tech gave me a picture and you can't even tell that it is a baby! Maybe a better quality pic would help as well. Will be sure to let all you ladies know.
So glad to hear a good update! How awesome is that, that they have someone on site, right there and ready to talk to you and they took you seriously! It's good you are able to talk to someone. Please keep posting here if you need some uplifting! The ladies are so helpful and everyone is different so you are less likely to feel so isolated!