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A little rant

Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By GeekLover11
  • 1 Post By Sprinkle 2010
  • 1 Post By momma_d

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April 30th, 2012, 09:05 AM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: the mountain state
Posts: 11,192
Ok, so I have been stewing over my appointment last week for a few days, but never really updated you. You guys got the jist of the U/S, but I also had a M/W appointment.

So, I got there 20 minutes early to give myself time to get in the door relax try and get over the white coat syndrome. Well, I hadn't even finished checking in and they were calling me back, so I felt rushed and flustered.

my BP was "normal" for me 140/84 - kinda high for everyone else, but my BP had been 120/80 the previous appointments.

The m/w came in and I asked her if we could do it again after I relaxed and she said yes, but then all she did was insult me and treat me badly....

I intended to ask her for the bloodwork slip for the GTT which is coming up soon. I was hoping to have it done in a few weeks when DH is off so he can watch the kids while I sit there for an hour.

She proceeded to tell me that since I am overweight I need to do it twice. I've never had GD and don't see why that would change this pregnancy. I explained to her that I only have so many hours available to me to get this kind of stuff done, and the closest lab to my home is 30 minutes away. She told me "well the one right down the street is open on saturdays" I was like that doesn't really help me since I live 90 minutes away. I can't afford to blow $80 on gas for a blood test.

Then she sees I lost another 2 or 3 pounds and accuses me of eating differently, I said, I am eating pretty much the same, probably a bit more, since I am actually eating breakfast and lunch. When I am not preggo or nursing, I usually skip. She doesn't believe me and yelled at me. For me this is very normal. I lost 35 pounds with my first pregnancy and 30 pounds with my second. She refuses to believe that I have PCOS and just blames me for being lazy and eating junk for being overweight. Yet when I am pregnant my hormones balance out and I loose weight.

Then she insulted my kids. They were sitting in the waiting area with DH - this is not a very kid friendly place, no toys, no books no nothing, so the kids were playing with the cars they brought and being a little noisy. I said to her "do you think they will be able to go in for the u/s" and she said "not if they are acting like *that*" in a really nasty tone.

This was the second time she treated me like this, and I really think it is because DH was not in the room. I told him to not leave me alone with her, she is very nice in front of him.

I have been trying to see the other m/w's in the practice, but no matter who I schedule an appointment with, I end up with this one.

Since I am VBAC in a very non-vbac friendly are, my options are limited, and I really think this is office is going to be my best bet. But I am so annoyed with how badly she treated me the other day.

Then today I called to see if I could get a referral for the peri they originally wanted to sent me to, and I got attitude from the nurse. I have to sit around and wait for them to put in the request to see if the doctor will even refer me out, then make the appointment, then sit around and wait for the referral.

I am of course nervous I will offend the doc by asking for a referral, but I really did like him, and I am ok with seeing him for fluid checks and whatnot. But I am just worried - probably because I am a worrier by nature.

if you got here, you deserve some cookies!

FF Chart**CrazyAmiCrochet**
Missing Our Angels gone too soon 6/5/10 & 3/1/14
Adam Michael 9/22/06 (c-section)~Nathan Joseph 9/4/08 (VBAC)~Lincoln Thomas 9/5/12 (VBAC)

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April 30th, 2012, 09:20 AM
GeekLover11's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Greater Philadelphia Area
Posts: 1,163
Wow.. That just plain old sucks :'( I am so sorry you are having such a crap time at this office. Since your options are limited, I guess it would be difficult to change practices. Honestly, when I feel uncomfortable or I feel insulted, I always find the best way to handle it is to call it out on the table. You are not going there to have them do you a favor. You are going there to receive a service, and if the service sucks, call them out on it. Maybe, if they understand you feel insulted, they can work to fix it.

I really hope it gets better for you!! Hugs!!
momma_d likes this.

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April 30th, 2012, 09:21 AM
smashley8's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,637
Man you have just had the WORST luck! I can only hope it starts looking up from here! I would have had a hard time not giving that m/w a piece of my mind (either that or I would have started crying, always do that when I'm heated!). I agree that you should never be alone with her again and personally if you stay with this office I would tell them that you WILL NOT be seen with her and you didn't appreciate how you were treated. I feel so awful for you. Wish you had better experiences so far!

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April 30th, 2012, 10:22 AM
Sprinkle 2010's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,303
I agree with the previous posters. I would call the office and tell them how I was treated and refuse to see that midwife again. You are there for their service and they are being paid for those services. Therefore they need to remember that YOU are the client.
I'm sorry you have had such a tough experience.
momma_d likes this.

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April 30th, 2012, 10:45 AM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 397
I am sitting here with my mouth open. I am so sorry that you were treated so badly. It is like sometimes people forget that patients are people too and the insults to your intelligence and awareness f your own body and your baby and pregnancy as well as to your children was really uncalled for and of course they should be able to go with you to your US! I understand the VBAC friendly thing and I so wish for you you could find another practice that was vbac friendly and friendly in general. You are doing everything right and you are right on in your understanding of your pregnancy and your experience. Hang in there. i will pray for something chnages to make it easier for you.

How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers. ~ Blessed Mother Teresa
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April 30th, 2012, 10:49 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 781
I would have yelled back but that's just me lol. I'm sorry you keep getting her. Hopefully the next appt you wont have her and it will go smoothly. I also hope you get the referral ASAP!
Wife to Anthony since March 2004 and Mommy to 3 boys(Blake-6, Owen-4, & Vinny-2) and a little princess, Kara

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April 30th, 2012, 10:50 AM
momma_d's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,216
I totally agree. Sometimes when people treat us so badly, in the moment we are just in shock by it, and then stew about it later. If I were in your shoes, I would either call now, or wait until your next appointment (but calling now is probably better while it is still fresh) and DEMAND (nicely) to speak with an office manager. Just kindly and calmly let them know that you are absolutely offended and will not tolerate being treated in such a way. There are plenty of reporting agencies that you can report their office to if they don't want to work on treating you better. Patient abuse is a very real and common thing and no one should be subjected to and I think to many of us turn the other cheek to this. I would also be super firm about not seeing her again. Just put your foot down.

I also wanted to share this with you.
Patient Rights and Advocacy Commission, Inc. (just ignore the Oregon part of it, this was more for the information ON the abuse and what to do if you are treated this way-- you would have to search for your own local commission if you want to take any action!)

I worked as a CNA for a while after high school and where I was trained, they were VERY informative about patient abuse, etc. It is very serious and medical staff can lose their license over it or be subject to disciplinary action. I would let the office manager know that if you are treated in that way again you have no problem reporting them.
nroundtr likes this.

Danielle, Wife to Brian, Mommy to Keira & Kynlee

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April 30th, 2012, 11:02 AM
RunningMommyTo5's Avatar Marathoning Mom to 4!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 4,443
I'm sorry, Ami. Everyone else has offered you great advice, so I have nothing to add other than some moral support and some (((hugs))). I hope that you do decide to take action, and I certainly hope they get you the referral.
*~*~ Katie; Mommy to 3 fun-loving boys, one sweet little baby girl, and #5 on the way! *~*~

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April 30th, 2012, 11:04 AM
bettyearl's Avatar Beth, mom to 4 boys
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,890
Boooo!!! I'm so sorry you've had such a sucky experience!!! Where does she get off not believing you!! I hear you on the expensive gas and living far away. My doctor (the very closest one) is 50 minutes away and I'm thinking of switching to a midwife, which will be 2hrs away.

Perhaps there are some OBGYNs that are vbac friendly! You could call around and just ask the nurses what they think. Those nurses know the doctors better than anyone.
happy about life in general
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April 30th, 2012, 11:59 AM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: the mountain state
Posts: 11,192
thanks everyone. I really don't know what to do, I have heard rumblings from others in the area that she is like that, and sweet as pie when the hubbys are in the room.

As long as he is with me, I am ok with seeing her. And he takes me to all my appointments.

I am not usually a feather ruffler, I am upset to think that I may offend the doctor by requesting a referral..

I know Mike will back me up if she gets on my case again. I wish he had been with me this past week.

FF Chart**CrazyAmiCrochet**
Missing Our Angels gone too soon 6/5/10 & 3/1/14
Adam Michael 9/22/06 (c-section)~Nathan Joseph 9/4/08 (VBAC)~Lincoln Thomas 9/5/12 (VBAC)

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April 30th, 2012, 12:07 PM
Angelamomtomany's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,758
I would never ever see her again. I wish you had more options for your care.

And now I need to go bake cookies
Angela; Mom to S,K,R,J,E,C,N and Baby BOY due 11/15

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April 30th, 2012, 12:37 PM
Sagga02's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Australia/Iowa, USA
Posts: 9,443
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I am larger and i swear i had the diabetes test 4 times last pregnancy due to being overweight and having a big baby. I have ALWAYS past with flying colours and just did again last week. I said i thought it was silly that I had to keep doing them and they said sorry your overweight and carry bigger babies so we have to keep an eye on you. SUCKS!

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April 30th, 2012, 01:07 PM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: the mountain state
Posts: 11,192
it's totally rediculous. I will be doing the test once. My first pregnancy I did it 4 times and passed every single time. Last time was just one, and passed just fine.

My babies have been 7pounds and 7pounds 3 ounces. It isn't like they are gargantuan.

I hate the assumptions people make just because I am not a size 4.

FF Chart**CrazyAmiCrochet**
Missing Our Angels gone too soon 6/5/10 & 3/1/14
Adam Michael 9/22/06 (c-section)~Nathan Joseph 9/4/08 (VBAC)~Lincoln Thomas 9/5/12 (VBAC)

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April 30th, 2012, 07:11 PM
karenwalter's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 7,785
Wow. I can't believe you were treated like that! I wish you could find another office that was more patient friendly and did VBACs. Hugs.

. Thanks .hOOdihoo.this. for another beautiful siggy!

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May 1st, 2012, 06:35 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,605
WHAT A B****!!!!! I wish you had more options and did not have to go back ughhh no one should be treated that way!!

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May 1st, 2012, 07:22 AM
Blessed Mommy Of 5's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,056
That is insane! You deserve to be treated much better. As the other ladies have pointed out you are there for a service that they are being paid to provide to you. That midwife has no right to treat you so badly, and insult you and your children. I definitely would have called her out right then and there. I understand your reason for not doing so. I just do not think it is a good idea to keep it to yourself though. Have you told your DH what happened that day? What did he think about that? No matter what do not allow yourself to be seen by that woman without your DH. You are such a sweet person yourself, that I think the midwife senses that she can get away with treating you poorly

I wish you had other options for your healthcare as well. I wish you could at least bring yourself to demand not to be seen by that in particular midwife ever again!


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May 1st, 2012, 07:26 AM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: the mountain state
Posts: 11,192
I have talked to DH about the appointment. He said he thinks it is too risky to complain now, she could drop us. And then we would be stuck.

I may complain after baby is born...

FF Chart**CrazyAmiCrochet**
Missing Our Angels gone too soon 6/5/10 & 3/1/14
Adam Michael 9/22/06 (c-section)~Nathan Joseph 9/4/08 (VBAC)~Lincoln Thomas 9/5/12 (VBAC)

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May 1st, 2012, 07:45 AM
Bobb's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 272
I agree with Panda on the first sentence!!
And once again, I can't believe how intricated is the US health system. In Romania, if you have the money, you can go ANYTIME you wish in a private clinic/hospital and get all your tests done + all scans + delivery.
For instance, here we have 4 u/s appointments per pregnancy: one for establishing the pregnancy around 7-8 weeks, big one during weeks 12-14, big one during weeks 20-24 and a big one during week 32-34. If you want to just check up on the baby, you can go whenever you like and have a usual u/s, which means : heartbeat, head/bones measurements, nice pics for the album. This Monday I went and had the big second trimester u/s and it cost me 180 US$ (the usual u/s is ~70$). If I'd go to the state hospital, I'd have to get paperwork from my job, from my family doctor and then go to the hospital and wait for God knows how many hours and meet bored and mean techs/doctors/nurses. And no, we're not rich, Monday's u/s cost me almost a fourth part of my salary, but I prefer going to a private clinic, where I don't have to wait, nobody yells at me and I get top treatment from my doctor (who is also my obgyn and an excellent u/s technician and who is also going to deliver my baby at a state hospital since we really cannot afford a private delivery (that is around 2400-3600 $))
............................Little dragoness is growing !

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