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now I understand why you should keep the baby name quiet until you're sure!


Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By one.juniper

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  #1  
May 4th, 2012, 05:59 AM
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My mother -in-law informed me yesterday that my father-in-law hates "that name" she wouldn't even say it, that I've picked for my son. And it wasn't even the first name that he doesn't like, its the middle name. Are you serious? First of all, I didn't ask what they thought. Second of all, I've mentioned several times that if my husband wants to help me pick the name, that I will let him, so nothing is set. But even if DH does want to pick, I'll probably keep his middle name the same, and even though I haven't talked to the hubby about names yet, I think he'll really like the middle name I chose. SO now I understand when some of you girls said "It's different if I ask, but if I don't, then don't give your opinions." I'm sorry if i have given anyone any unwanted opinions. Our kids= our choices!
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  #2  
May 4th, 2012, 06:17 AM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Inlaws suck! that is all I have to say. my inlaws have only had negative things to say about the names we have chosen for our boys, so we aren't telling them this time.
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  #3  
May 4th, 2012, 06:18 AM
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I'm sorry that they are being so rude. I am sure we have all given unwanted opinions at some point. Trust me on this it doesn't get any better. Once you have that baby everyone will be telling you how you should be doing things. I think it is best to shut those people up as quickly as possible. Heck people are probably telling you how to do things now. There are always people that think they know better than you do, and some people will be down right rude about it. I have learned to tell them "Thank you for your concern, but I have it under control. If I ever need any advice I will let you know" and then I walk away. Everyone is different, everyone has different tastes, and every baby is different. There is no reason to make people feel bad for doing something you don't like. Just because it isn't a name they would choose that doesn't matter. It isn't their kid. They already had the chance to name their kids, and now they need to back off and let you and your dh have the chance.
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  #4  
May 4th, 2012, 06:22 AM
GeekLover11's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Amen sister!! I dealt with that same crap when we announced Declan's name. Have your own child and you can name it whatever you want. Until then, keep your opinion to yourself.

I wouldn't dare say something to someone about the name that they chose for their child. If they love it, then I am happy with their choice. Who am I to tell someone what they should or should not name their child? People are crazy sometimes.
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  #5  
May 4th, 2012, 09:00 AM
OatmealKisses's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Amen!
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  #6  
May 4th, 2012, 09:12 AM
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Honestly my in laws havent been a problem..they did choose traditional very common names for their own children(Josh,Kelly,Matthew,John and Brian) but the fact that I want to think outside the box a little has been met with nothing but good reactions..my familiy is another story completely..I know my sister will think Im insane for wanting to name a girl Matilda..although she knew with my last child if I had another boy we'd name him Jude and thought it was cute..
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  #7  
May 4th, 2012, 09:36 AM
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How rude! I hope you told fil where he can shove his opinion!
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  #8  
May 4th, 2012, 09:40 AM
amazing_love's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ugh i'm sorry you have name drama! I wish people could realize its OUR choice and get over it. We will be announcing our baby girls name to family soon and i'm hoping they are all nice about it. I think DH's family feels you should name at least the middle name after other family but i don't like their names so thats that If they have a problem i'm sure i won't know about it anyway, they gossip behind my back whenever they have issues
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  #9  
May 4th, 2012, 09:51 AM
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I'm having similar issues with my in-laws (my parents would never be so brazen) and I'm regretting ever engaging in the conversation with them in the first place.

Honestly, two weeks ago we went out to dinner and my MIL said to me: Let's try and pick a name we all agree on.

I nearly spit out my tea all over her.

Now I am **** set on picking one of the names I like that she can't stand. I know it sounds awful but I'm really rallying behind some names with more force then I would usually try to exert over my SO. I feel like picking a name regardless of her feelings will be making a statement to her that I'm the mom, I'm in charge and just basically put her in her place. Don't get me wrong, I'd never pick a name I didn't love just to spite her - all the names I've shared with her I really do love (and she of course dislikes).
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  #10  
May 4th, 2012, 10:04 AM
momma_d's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh my..... does she really think that you are going to chance your decision based on your FIL opinions? I think when it comes to these things its just go to nip it in the bud right away! It doens't have to be a mean conversation, but if they feel the need to tell you how they feel, there is no wrong in you telling them "thanks, I respect your opinion, but I'm not naming my child based on how you feel about the name" Done and done!
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  #11  
May 4th, 2012, 10:29 AM
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Yeah, that's why we never tell anyone our names before the baby arrives. I know my IL's probably would have had bad things to say about our son's name (Mason- they are SUPER traditional as far as names go, and even that was probably a little far out for them) if we had told them ahead of time. As it was, looking at their newborn grandson, they just loved him and have learned to love his name b/c it's his. We never heard anything about it.
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  #12  
May 4th, 2012, 10:39 AM
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I can't believe that Kelly!!! I'm so sorry. I've never had to deal with that in my or DH's family. I guess even my overly opinionated MIL understands that when we say; Their name IS..." that's the end of the conversation. It amazes me how some people think their own opinion should be as important as a parents in others' children. I like what Danielle said. You're still being very nice and respectful, but letting them know their opinion won't be considered, quite frankly, so keep it to themselves.
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  #13  
May 4th, 2012, 11:55 AM
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Sorry they were so rude. They'll get over it. We keep our name a secret until birth b/c it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks and we don't want to hear it.
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  #14  
May 5th, 2012, 06:34 AM
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Thanks girls! Whenever I do decided on his name, and I know it's for sure, I'm still not going to tell anyone. I'll tell them after it's written on the birth certificate, so there will be no discussing it. *HUGS*
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  #15  
May 5th, 2012, 08:28 AM
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Oh my. More reason for me to probably keep the name of our baby a secret until the day its born.
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  #16  
May 5th, 2012, 05:11 PM
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My family is pretty stong on opinions too. I am also not telling them our name list until we pick a name and the baby is born.
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  #17  
May 5th, 2012, 05:30 PM
Blessed Mommy Of 5's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Kelly, I have to agree that they should definitely keep their opinions to themselves especially since they are negative opinions! Geesh, it isn't their baby to name!! I remember you mentioning that your MIL stated she didn't like the name and even started calling the baby by a name she chose. Now, FIL has joined in the I don't like that name drama. Wow. So sorry they are behaving so rudely! Try your best to ignore their ridiculousness!!
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