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I must be so mean :D


Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  • 3 Post By hope71012
  • 2 Post By mrsshaffer
  • 1 Post By THE angry uterus
  • 1 Post By ohfiddleheads
  • 1 Post By Christin
  • 2 Post By hope71012
  • 2 Post By Well_Okay

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  #1  
June 22nd, 2012, 07:16 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,128
I really must be so mean! Sadly, I don't feel any remorse because its my life and pregnancy.

My grandma called today. I've purposely my WHOLE pregnancy decided that I would not share my actual due date with anyone unless 200% necessary. It has always been mid-July. This is why. With DD1, my entire family knew her EDD but for forgot that it was just a "guess" not set in stone. I got phone calls non-stop, multiple times per day checking in the weeks before and even worse the weeks after until I had her. The more info I gave, the more often they called. I learned my lesson.

So, My grandma called today. My step cousin and his wife are having a scheduled c-section Tuesday. Great for them. So onto me. So here is the conversation with grandma:
g-ma: "how are you feeling" aka, "when should we expect the baby? how are you progressing? etc."
me: "I feel great."
g-ma: "thats good. so your mom says we should expect the baby soon since your dropping."
me: "who knows. I'm not expecting a baby until the end of July."
g-ma: "Oh, well you never know maybe the baby will come early. You haven't even told us your due date."
me: "Yeah, I know."
g-ma: big sigh of disappointment.

Really I don't have anything to report. I know I probably should tell her SOMETHING. She's older and just wants to have something to talk about in social situations. Yet, I'm perfectly happy NOT sharing information. I know its probably mean and selfish, but I'm protecting my birth. I hate knowing I'm disappointing her by not giving more information. I probably sound like a total witch on the phone. I'm upset with my mom for hinting to grandma that I might go early and baby is dropping. Most importantly, to me, is that my baby is born when she is ready. Not on anyone else's time table and regardless of what anyone else desires. I don't care if it'd be cool to have the baby on July 4th, or DH's birthday, or our anniversary, or so and so's special event date that I really don't care about. All I want is to have faith in my body and let my body do what it was designed to do - give birth. I am so happy that I have a great support team that not only fully supports me, but agrees with the decisions we've made.

I know grandma means well. I know why she is the way she is. I feel bad not giving her the info she craves, but I've got to do what I've got to do to keep ME healthy not just physically, but emotionally.
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  #2  
June 22nd, 2012, 07:49 AM
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 150
Good for you! I don't think you're being mean at all. I honestly wish I would have done the same thing!!! (Maybe I will with my next pregnancy!)

You are so right. This is about your body and your baby being ready, not everyone else wanting the baby to come on such and such date because it would be neat or convenient or whatever.

My family has driven me to tears on more than one occasion because they live across the country and want to come visit shortly after LO arrives. This is great, but they are pressuring me for exact dates and information about how I am progressing so they can book their plane tickets, etc. And I think it is completely wrong for me to be so stressed about when the baby will come. Since this is my first he will likely come late, and that is completely ok. I just want him to be healthy and my body to do what it needs to do when it is ready to do it.

So again, good for you! I don't think you should feel bad at all. You're looking out for yourself and that little baby. Your family will get over it.
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  #3  
June 22nd, 2012, 08:12 AM
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Join Date: May 2008
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You go! lol BTW, your elusive due date reminded me of DH. I was talking to him lst night and for whatever reason he thought WE were due July 1st. He got so used to hearing me tell people "the beginning of July" he thought we were due the 1st, lol.
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  #4  
June 22nd, 2012, 08:43 AM
ohfiddleheads's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I totally understand how you feel. I didn't feel like it was necessary to share my due date either because it's not a set date. Everyone needs to know her due date and all I wanted to do was yell, "What does it matter? Why do you care? It's not like she's going to be born on that day anyway!!"
I've also had my FIL bothering me about her birth date. His b-day is on July 1st and wants her born on that day. Well, too ****** bad, Grandpa! I'm not having this baby for you!
Anyway, even though I'm having a scheduled c-section, she couldn't be born on his birthday because it's holiday and a Sunday that falls on a long weekend. What doctor would schedule surgery on a long weekend Sunday? It's also too early anyway. I'd only be 38+2 and scheduled C's are typically done between 39 and 40 weeks. So the defiant, ****** part of me is like, Deal with it! I don't know why I've let it bother me so much. I think I just hate the idea of having someone else, albeit jokingly, decide when MY baby is going to enter this world when they're not even in a position to say one way or the other.
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  #5  
June 22nd, 2012, 09:07 AM
Christin's Avatar William's Mommy
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I've already received a list of dates the baby CAN'T be born on, it's half of July. I looked at my sister and laughed and told her he will be here when he's here. She wasn't too happy, oh well.

So, no, you're not mean. People are just excited about a new baby and sometimes forget themselves. Just be honest and tell them I'm sorry if you feel you're being left out but I don't need the stress of your expectations.
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  #6  
June 23rd, 2012, 02:41 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Jamie, I love it! Sometimes I wonder if DH actually knows the due date since I've said "mid-July" for so long.

I hate feeling mean, I know she means well though. She doesn't get it. Didn't get it with DD. Doesn't get it in other situations non-pregnancy related.

DH thinks I'm just being hormonal, but it does bother me. I know people are just excited. I just want to have my ideal birth and the less people to know whats going on the better.
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  #7  
June 23rd, 2012, 02:59 PM
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I like not telling anyone specifics. Mostly cause I'm evil and I know they're dying to know. Baby will be here in his own good time and I don't want to be badgered.
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  #8  
June 23rd, 2012, 04:46 PM
Expecting # 1
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 659
Hope, I think you're fine. I know exactly what you mean, but when I remember that she suggested b/c your cousins were having a scheduled c-section, YOU should too, for her schedule or whever reason, I become heartless again and think pptthff whatever!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Well_Okay View Post
I like not telling anyone specifics. Mostly cause I'm evil and I know they're dying to know. Baby will be here in his own good time and I don't want to be badgered.
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  #9  
June 23rd, 2012, 04:52 PM
Expecting # 1
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 659
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsshaffer View Post
Good for you! I don't think you're being mean at all. I honestly wish I would have done the same thing!!! (Maybe I will with my next pregnancy!)

You are so right. This is about your body and your baby being ready, not everyone else wanting the baby to come on such and such date because it would be neat or convenient or whatever.

My family has driven me to tears on more than one occasion because they live across the country and want to come visit shortly after LO arrives. This is great, but they are pressuring me for exact dates and information about how I am progressing so they can book their plane tickets, etc. And I think it is completely wrong for me to be so stressed about when the baby will come. Since this is my first he will likely come late, and that is completely ok. I just want him to be healthy and my body to do what it needs to do when it is ready to do it.

So again, good for you! I don't think you should feel bad at all. You're looking out for yourself and that little baby. Your family will get over it.
Ditto! I know MIL is just (semi) joking too; can't tell a baby what to do, but it's getting a little annoying. (I'm not to have this baby until her plane lands. ... Mom, what about the time it'll take you to get to the hospital? Okay, 2 hrs after. even though airport is 15 min from house & hospital. [and who's gonna pick her up? I'm pretty **** sure if I'm even 1/2 way there both her son and husband will leave her at the airport to rent a car. can't see either of them leaving b/c it could progress easily.] )

Good luck not killing anyone.
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