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Really I'm just trying to rant and get things off my chest to others that understand what I'm going through (according to my fiancee I'm just getting worked up over nothing)Today I'm 39 weeks and 1 day, (due July 14) and I feel very hopeless, lonely, and unwanted. I look on my Facebook at all my friends who have had their babies and their statuses about taking their babies to the fireworks and swimming, and its making me more depressed everyday that my bundle of joy hasn't come yet.( I know I'm still a week away but for some reason I feel like nothing is going to happen) I'm dilated to a 1 and 50% effaced as of Thursday and have been losing a lot of my mucus plug, no blood... just clear, but she's still sitting pretty high. Also I'm sick of other people asking when I'm going to "pop"... because trust me.. If I knew when I was going to pop or had the choice it would have happened by now. Of course I wouldn't have had her to early, I want her to be healthy, but at the same time I want her to be out by her due date. I feel that if my due date comes and goes I'll just be more disappointed, miserable, and stressed. I also feel that if I go to far past my due date my exhaustion will effect the process of delivery. Another thing is how uncomfortable I am... I haven't slept but probably a total of 10 hours in the past 3 days (and my fiancee wonders why I'm so irritable) My back kills to the point where I can't do anything but cry, I've been kicked in the ribs and every other organ and bone her little feet can reach. I can't stand to look at this basketball I have for a stomach, Gabe tries to make me feel better by telling me its not that big and I'll be back to normal before I know it. But at the same time its the fact that its bigger that what it was, and its creating an obstacle for me to do simple things like tying my shoes and putting on socks. I've been trying to stay active... and have been walking everyday to hopefully not only speed up the process but also make it easier on myself. I also have been getting into meditation to hopefully put my mind at ease. Everyday is different thought, some days I don't even think about it, usually the days where no one mentions anything or I just sit around watching movies with my dog. I know what some of you will say... "this is the time to relax and have the me time you won't be having in the future, take this time to do what you want to do, get out, go hang out with friends, stop thinking about it, she'll come when she's ready" I've been hearing/reading this for the past 2 weeks. The sad part is, I really don't want any more "me" time. I'm ready to give my time up for my little one. To be honest I have too much me time... Enough to sit here and rant and sit and wait for someone to talk back. (sad, and a little pathetic but ehh.) I want to talk to my doctor about being induced if I go past my due date, like as soon as possible. But I have a feeling she's going to ignore me like she has been and will tell me "what's another 1-2 weeks"... and I'll be shot down and put through 2 more weeks of anxiety, pain, and torture. I JUST WANT MY LITTLE GIRL!!!!!
Pregnancy usually takes 40 weeks, often longer for ftm. Waiting in pain is part of the game. My second was over a week late! It was well worth it, I assure you. Just think of all the people out there who cant even conceive and you will be thankful for every second of every annoying, painful, big belly part of being pregnant Besides, it sounds like you dont have much longer.
That last few weeks are hard. I'm convinced that the last month of pregnancy is meant to get a woman to the point where she says, "I don't care how this baby gets out of me, just get him/her out!" It gets you to the point where you are willing to go through labor.
The waiting to meet your baby, the aches and pains, the constant asking "how are you doing" from others that is really asking, "any signs of labor???" ... it's all draining.
I don't have any wonderful advice other than maybe rather than taking some me time while you wait (since you said you've had enough), maybe take some "for other people time". Volunteer somewhere or make dinner for friends that have had their babies already. Find an activity that can take your mind off of your waiting--so something that may not be relaxing (too much time to think) or meant to bring on labor (forces you to think about baby not coming).
Mama to a lower elementary school boy, preschool girl, and my miracle baby girl.
Two 10w losses (11/2010 + 8/2011)
I'm with you, girl. I just posted about this also. DD is keeping me occupied and helping time pass, thankfully. If it wasn't for her, I'd be stir crazy. I think another thing that is irritating me is this is the start of week 2 I've been on maternity leave and I feel like I'm wasting it just sitting here waiting. I thought for sure I was going to have her last week the way the previous weekend went and nothing. To go in and be monitored and have all the L&D nurses say yup, you'll be back before long and then to go another whole week is more than frustrating. It's hard to be exhausted and in pain and everyone tolorates it differently. Some women love being pregnant, I am not one of those women. I enjoy the baby on the outside much better! Good luck, I'll be thinking of you!