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The guilt thread...


Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  • 2 Post By BlessedMommyx

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  #1  
August 12th, 2012, 09:43 AM
maddy and tommy's mommy's Avatar Lovin my precious kiddos!
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I don't want to dwell on my guilt and I know it'll go away eventually, but I do need to get it out there! I vent to my hubby but it's nice to vent to other women who are also dealing with some of the same issues. Here's what I feel guilty about:

1. Not being able to breastfeed
2. How bored my 4 year old is at times and how much TV she watches
3. Being "annoyed" when I hear the baby wake up in the middle of the night
4. The attention that has been taken away from my daughter
5. My lack of patience due to fatigue and feeling like crap about myself!

Your turn... please!
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  #2  
August 12th, 2012, 10:28 AM
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I can write 2-5 myself.

I hate that dd1 just watches tv and it's nice outside, but too hot to take baby out. Dd1 keeps sayin we've forgotten about her and we don't love her anymore (or feels like we don't). It's hard to balance both kiddos.

And my additional "guilt" is going back to work sooner, but financially it's not really a choice. I kinda feel bad putting dd1 in afterschool. We don't really need it, but to have a few hours with the baby 1 on 1 and to have her get homework done, etc is so worth $50/wk! And we will need it mid-school year.
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  #3  
August 12th, 2012, 02:26 PM
Well_Okay's Avatar Super Mommy
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Definitely with you on the lack of patience.
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  #4  
August 12th, 2012, 02:53 PM
kcmommy2be's Avatar Round #2 here we go
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I have a list myself:

1.Not trying "harder" to keep up my milk supply
2.switching formula her first few weeks b/c we simply couldn't afford to buy any at the time and had free samples of different brands/kinds
3. wanting to stay home with Kira & not work vs. trying really hard to find a job to help us make ends meet (I have done both & now have found a job... so torn)
4. getting upset b/c of lack of sleep, even though the days this happens I choose to stay up and not go to bed early.
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  #5  
August 12th, 2012, 05:44 PM
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I am upset I have to send DS1 to day care full time. I thought I would be able to keep him with me two days per week, but I don't think I would manage it and would hate for him being bored and plugged to a TV. A personal opinion, but at this point I would rather him have fun at day care then be bored and frustrated at home. I thought I could handle it but now realising it will not be easy.
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  #6  
August 12th, 2012, 06:05 PM
maddy and tommy's mommy's Avatar Lovin my precious kiddos!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kumii View Post
I am upset I have to send DS1 to day care full time. I thought I would be able to keep him with me two days per week, but I don't think I would manage it and would hate for him being bored and plugged to a TV. A personal opinion, but at this point I would rather him have fun at day care then be bored and frustrated at home. I thought I could handle it but now realising it will not be easy.
It's soooo hard! We have Maddy at "school" 2x a week now and going up to 3x in September when she starts pre-k. I asked if she could start 3x a week now because she is so bored and I feel horrible! I'm relieved that she'll now go three days, but felt guilty for doing it. I know she loves it though and believe me, if we could afford it, I'd send her more!
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  #7  
August 12th, 2012, 06:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maddy and tommy's mommy View Post
It's soooo hard! We have Maddy at "school" 2x a week now and going up to 3x in September when she starts pre-k. I asked if she could start 3x a week now because she is so bored and I feel horrible! I'm relieved that she'll now go three days, but felt guilty for doing it. I know she loves it though and believe me, if we could afford it, I'd send her more!
I guess as moms we can never be satisfied, we do what we can with what we have. Good luck to you!
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  #8  
August 12th, 2012, 07:05 PM
BlessedMommyx's Avatar Stephanie
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I've been soo incredibly guilty that I introduced formula at 5 weeks old for just night time because she was constantly nursing like every hour and wouldn't give me just a little bit of a break. And now she pretty much refuses to nurse except maybe one feeding every other day. So trying to pump and mix it with formula but slowly losing my supply.
I wanted to nurse at least a year but if she's happier with formula than that's the most important. But still feeling guilty over it.

EDIT:::: Haha woww.. I just realized that this is the July PR.. My bad! Forgot that June PR moved down one.
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  #9  
August 12th, 2012, 08:53 PM
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Feeling guilty that for the 3time(baby) my body has made it so difficult to breastfeed that we are giving her formula part time.

That I dont have as much time with my other girls

That I have been back to work since 4 weeks this is the first baby I was not able to take the first year off.

Slacking on my duties at home
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  #10  
August 12th, 2012, 09:38 PM
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I can't take my toddler out as much. We live on the 2nd floor and have really steep steps, so it's too hard to get both boys and the stroller down the steps by myself.

Not having 24/7 for my ods. He's so used to constant attention from me. He's been a trooper though and is loving some extra daddy time.

The house isn't a mess, but it's more cluttered than I'd like.
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  #11  
August 13th, 2012, 05:21 AM
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My midnight guilt....I heard the baby making noise on the monitor. Her usual "I'm waking up because I'm hungry" sounds. I heard DD1 open her door and she saw or heard me get out of bed. She ran back into her room, turned her light on, and closed the door. I went in to check on her and she had her head buried under her pillow, hysterical.

Big guilt. Big girl wanted cuddles and she thought I'd be mad at her for coming to our bed for cuddles.
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  #12  
August 13th, 2012, 02:52 PM
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1. I also feel annoyed when I hear the baby cry in the middle of the night to eat.
2. Wondering whether or not I want to have more children because my birth experience was so HORRIBLE and so has my recovery.
3. Constantly getting annoyed and frustrated with DH overy silly things dispite the fact that he's been incredibly supportive and taken on so much since the baby has been born.
4. Not enjoying being a mommy anywhere near as much as I thought I would.
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  #13  
August 13th, 2012, 02:56 PM
kcmommy2be's Avatar Round #2 here we go
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsshaffer View Post
1. I also feel annoyed when I hear the baby cry in the middle of the night to eat.
2. Wondering whether or not I want to have more children because my birth experience was so HORRIBLE and so has my recovery.
3. Constantly getting annoyed and frustrated with DH overy silly things dispite the fact that he's been incredibly supportive and taken on so much since the baby has been born.
4. Not enjoying being a mommy anywhere near as much as I thought I would.
Awww... Hang in there, things will get better. They always say the first few weeks & months are the hardest & having a horrible ordeal with birth/recovery can make it worse. *Big Hugs* to ya & hope things start getting easier for ya quickly
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  #14  
August 13th, 2012, 06:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hope71012 View Post
My midnight guilt....I heard the baby making noise on the monitor. Her usual "I'm waking up because I'm hungry" sounds. I heard DD1 open her door and she saw or heard me get out of bed. She ran back into her room, turned her light on, and closed the door. I went in to check on her and she had her head buried under her pillow, hysterical.

Big guilt. Big girl wanted cuddles and she thought I'd be mad at her for coming to our bed for cuddles.
. So sorry!
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  #15  
August 13th, 2012, 06:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hope71012 View Post
My midnight guilt....I heard the baby making noise on the monitor. Her usual "I'm waking up because I'm hungry" sounds. I heard DD1 open her door and she saw or heard me get out of bed. She ran back into her room, turned her light on, and closed the door. I went in to check on her and she had her head buried under her pillow, hysterical.

Big guilt. Big girl wanted cuddles and she thought I'd be mad at her for coming to our bed for cuddles.
aaaaaaw! Poor thing! :hugs:

1. Not spending more time with DS1
2. Not 'sharing' DS2 (he prefers me and I'm afraid his crying will make him more gassey, so I don't like others to take him and make more work for ME)
3. Getting frustrated at DH for not helping more with burping, diaper changes, etc. How fair since I wont let him do anything?!
4. DS2s food allergies and not knowing everything he is allergic too and is causing him so much discomfort.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlessedMommyx View Post
I've been soo incredibly guilty that I introduced formula at 5 weeks old for just night time because she was constantly nursing like every hour and wouldn't give me just a little bit of a break. And now she pretty much refuses to nurse except maybe one feeding every other day. So trying to pump and mix it with formula but slowly losing my supply.
I wanted to nurse at least a year but if she's happier with formula than that's the most important. But still feeling guilty over it.

EDIT:::: Haha woww.. I just realized that this is the July PR.. My bad! Forgot that June PR moved down one.
Its all good! Most of us delivered in June anyway.
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  #16  
August 15th, 2012, 06:42 AM
mommyTTC3's Avatar Proud mom of 3 !! <3
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I am feeing very guilty that I could not get the breastfeeding down and just ended up giving him formula .

That my housework is slacking

That my patients are thin from lack of sleep
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